Keeping Your Divorce Private

On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, August 27, 2012.

In divorce, we are all concerned with keeping our personal lives as private as possible. And, there are some new rules Florida courts have adopted which help to protect us from disclosing sensitive information to the public. However, one thing the new rules can’t protect you from is yourself.

Posting negative things on Facebook, emailing and texting insults, and making destructive comments about your ex-spouse, or soon to be ex-spouse, can impact your children in many ways. It can create anxiety and insecurity. It can raise their level of fear. It can make them question how much they can trust you and your opinions – or trust themselves. And it can add a level of unhappiness into their lives that they do not need.

I raise this because I see this a lot in my own practice, and a recent article I read said it in a way that may resonate with some:

The typical break-up thought process goes like this: You see your friends. You start blabbing. You complain over and over again. One of your friends finally tells you that you need to break up with the person. And you do. Then you go through the healing/complaining process, where you complain to your friends some more and they comfort you. They help you through the pain and you start feeling a lot better. Divorce is different.

To the normal blabbing I would add social media posts, emails and texts too. As the author of the article notes: Children are very sensitive – they can sense things; they can read between the lines. They read into emotions. We all have a responsibility to protect children from the trauma and emotions of the divorce process, and a good way to do that is to not “blab all over the place about how angry you are and how much you hate your ex.”