Category: Divorce

Divorce Strategy During the Pandemic

Posted by Ron Kauffman on August 6, 2020 with 0 Comment

Divorce strategy during the pandemic is on people’s minds because, even in the best of times, marriage and relationships are hard work. As the Wall Street Journal reports, the pandemic has produced a pressure cooker inside homes, straining even strong partnerships and, experts say, likely breaking others.

divorce covid strategy

The Virus Among Us

Families are cooped up, with spouses trying to work while also taking care of their kids. Job losses, caring for at-risk elderly parents, arguments over what’s safe, and disagreements over school reopening are all taking a toll.

Susan Myres, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), which represents 1,600 members nationwide, says she expects new divorce filings to increase somewhere between 10% and 25% in the second half of this year.

Florida, unlike many state courts have been processing divorce and custody filings and are back to a manageable case flow. Many AAML member attorneys are reporting that we have received more queries than normal since the pandemic in March.

More than one-quarter of adults said they know a couple likely to break up, separate or divorce when the coronavirus pandemic ends, according to an Ipsos poll of 1,005 people conducted at the end of July.

In Charlotte, N.C., one attorney has consulted with 263 new clients on divorce issues from April to July compared with 217 clients in that same period a year ago, says Nicole Sodoma, founder and managing principal of the firm.

Summertime is usually when separating parents make the transition to two households, giving themselves time to acclimate before the school year begins. But courts have either been closed or backed up, she says, and many clients have felt stuck. “It’s added stress to an already stressful situation,” she says.

Florida Divorce

The official term for divorce in Florida is “dissolution of marriage”, and you don’t need fault as a ground for divorce. Florida abolished fault as a ground for divorce.

I’ve written about divorce and the Coronavirus before. In order to divorce in Florida, you need to file a petition for dissolution of marriage in the family court. No grounds are necessary, such as “COVID-19” or “my house is a pressure cooker.”

The no-fault concept in Florida means you no longer have to prove a reason for the divorce. Instead, you just need to state under oath that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

Before the no-fault divorce era, people who wanted to get divorce either had to reach agreement in advance with the other spouse that the marriage was over, or throw mud at each other and prove wrongdoing like adultery or abuse.

No-fault laws were the result of trying to change the way divorces played out in court. No fault laws have reduced the number of feuding couples who felt the need to resort to distorted facts, lies, and the need to focus the trial on who did what to whom.

The Pressure Cooker

In some cases, tensions created from the effects of the shutdown, quarantine, and pandemic, can mount into violence. The National Domestic Violence Hotline says total contacts—calls, texts and online chats—increased 9% to more than 62,000 in the period from mid-March to mid-May, compared with the same period a year earlier.

Spouses who experienced greater external stress, from work stressors to financial problems, had lower relationship satisfaction than couples with fewer external stressors.

Even in the most communicative partnerships, there is more stress. “We have a strong marriage,” says Courtney Westling, a public-schools official in Portland, Ore. “But this has not been easy.” She and her husband of seven years, Mike, have spent recent months negotiating new work spaces in their home as well as child care for their sons, ages 3 and 5.

Strategy for Stress

The Covid pandemic has put strain on households and is testing marriages and relationships. Here are a few strategies.

Keep in mind this is a unique situation. When your spouse does something that upsets you, it’s easy to veer into blaming it on some character flaw. That is not a good sign. Couples that tend to see “situational attribution,” do better.

“If I have the mentality that this is because of the situation and not my partner, that should be beneficial.”

Think twice about big relationship decisions. Clients under marital duress should take a step back and pause. Recognize that everyone is under added strain, and that a partner’s on-the-surface behavior may really be about something deeper.

Maybe what you don’t recognize is that your spouse is actually anxious about the uncertainty, maybe his job or some underlying health issue, and it causes them to act out. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of a marriage. That’s particularly true in a relationship that had previously been solid, she says.

“Recognize that we are not living in ordinary times.”

Don’t forget to play! The world feels heavy right now, and so it is more important than ever to find joy. Take advantage of the added time with your partner to find moments to laugh and have fun. And if those moments don’t come to you, make them. You need to create moments of play.

“Go out for a run, listen to a podcast together, spend time in nature. Play is not only how children learn, but it is also how we refresh ourselves.”

Creating lighthearted moments is also a useful tool in reminding ourselves what attracted us in the first place to our partners. Remember that this is the same person, but this is just a short period in time.

The Wall Street Journal article is here.

Coffee Grounds for Divorce

Posted by Ron Kauffman on July 28, 2020 with 0 Comment

Coffee used to be grounds for divorce in Turkey after the end of the rule of Sultan Murad IV, who had banned coffee and threw coffee drinkers into the Bosporus. Although Florida is a no-fault state, many people wonder if you still need grounds for divorce.

Coffee Grounds for Divorce

Coffee Talk

Coffee is widely regarded as the second most legally traded commodity after oil in the world today, even though coffee is not technically a commodity since it is fresh produce and its value is directly affected by the length of time it is held.

Coffee, owes its origins as a social beverage to Sufis from Yemen in the 15th century, and then it quickly spread from there throughout the Ottoman Empire. Holding a place of uncertain legality under Islam since its inception, coffee has been alternately banned and blessed depending on the tastes of the ruling government.

During the Ottoman Empire, not even the threat of penalty of death could stop the coffee drinkers of Istanbul. Sultan Murad IV launched his own attack against coffee drinkers as well as tobacco smokers. He brought back the edict about throwing coffee drinkers into the Bosporus and even took it a step further; if he found any soldiers smoking or drinking coffee on the eve of battle, he would execute them or have their limbs.

Coffee was instantly reinstated, along with tobacco use, as soon as this man met his demise. Turkish coffee has been a mainstay of Istanbul ever since to the point where, up until the collapse of the Ottoman Empire, being unable to provide coffee for the household was considered sufficient grounds for a woman to divorce her husband.

Florida No Fault Divorce

The official term for divorce in Florida is “dissolution of marriage”, and you don’t need fault as a ground for divorce. Florida abolished fault as a ground for divorce.

I’ve written about divorce and infidelity issues before. The no-fault concept in Florida means you no longer have to prove a reason for the divorce, like your husband’s allegedly failure to bring home Starbucks, or preferably, Lavazza. Instead, you just need to state under oath that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

Before the no-fault divorce era, people who wanted to get divorce either had to reach agreement in advance with the other spouse that the marriage was over, or throw hot coffee at each other and prove wrongdoing like adultery or abuse.

Another Cup of Joe

A cup of coffee can be more than a beverage–it’s a lifeline. Many people claim that they can’t wake up without their morning cup of coffee, others say that they can’t stop drinking it because caffeine is what keeps them creative.

It is not really known where the history of the coffee begins but there is the world-famous legend about Kaldi, a herdsman from Ethiopia who was the first to discover the effects of the coffee beans. According to the legend, around the year 850 AD Kaldi noticed that whenever his sheep ate the red berries that grew on a particular bush, they became excited and more energetic, to the point that they didn’t sleep at night.

Soon word of the energizing berries spread and caught the interest of the Galla tribe in Ethiopia. They invented a kind of a power bar that was prepared with clarified butter and the berry. It was the food of the warriors and it apparently made them invincible. Energizing bars based on coffee berries are still a common snack in Sidamo and Kaffa.

By the late 15th century coffee had become a common beverage in the Near East, but the Ottoman Turks had mastered the art of it. They prepared the coffee with cinnamon, anise, cardamon, and cloves. And this spicy version is still available in some places in Turkey. It is no wonder that they drink coffee after coffee when they prepare each cup with so much love and attention.

Information about coffee in the Ottoman Empire can be found here.

Twitter, Divorce and Privacy

Posted by Ron Kauffman on July 24, 2020 with 0 Comment

Twitter, Divorce and Privacy are in the news again after Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West’s latest string of controversial statements and Twitter sprees as a result of their widely rumored divorce. The twitter battle going on makes you wonder if there is any privacy after you file for divorce.

Divorce Privacy

Runaway

Kim Kardashian West is asking people to be understanding about husband Kanye West’s bipolar issues. After Kanye West fired off another barrage of wild tweets in which he said he’s been trying to divorce Kim Kardashian, the reality star requested compassion and empathy on behalf of those living with mental illness, including her husband.

“As many of you know, Kanye has bi-polar disorder. Anyone who has this or has a loved one in their life who does, knows how incredibly complicated and painful it is to understand. Those that understand mental illness or even compulsive behavior know that the family is powerless unless the member is a minor. People who are unaware or far removed from this experience can be judgmental and not understand that the individual themselves have to engage in the process of getting help no matter how hard family and friends try.”

Her Wednesday morning response came after the “Jesus is King” rapper, 43, said he has recently been trying to divorce her in an overnight rant, which was scrubbed from Twitter just a few minutes after it was posted.

“I been trying to get divorced since Kim met with Meek at the Warldolf for ‘prison reform. Meek is my man and was respectful that’s my dog. Kim was out of line.”

It’s not clear what exactly West was referring to, but his reality star wife, who’s 39, and rapper Meek Mill both attended a criminal justice summit in November 2018.

Florida Divorce Privacy

I’ve written on divorce privacy issues before. Divorce privacy is an issue that comes up a lot. Divorces in court are public events, and the filed records of court proceedings are public records available for public examination.

Both the public and the media can challenge any closure order by a divorce court. The closure of court proceedings or records should only really occur when it’s necessary to comply with established public policy, to protect trade secrets; or to protect children in a divorce among other reasons.

Florida also has new rules protecting sensitive data from public view. This includes protecting Social Security, Bank Account, Debit, and Credit Card Numbers because if those numbers are included in a document, they may become part of the public record.

If information is absolutely required, there is a rule with procedures for sealing and unsealing of court records. Also, the Clerk of Court has the authority to redact or make confidential only specific information.

If sensitive information has already been filed in Court Records, you must complete and submit a “Notice of Confidential Information Within Court Filing” in order to remove or seal it.

I love It

In a series of tweets earlier this week, he also claimed Kardashian and her mother, Kris Jenner, were trying to lock him up for medical reasons because of comments made during a rally in South Carolina, where he launched his 2020 presidential bid.

West told the crowd during the Charleston event that he and his wife considered an abortion when she became pregnant with their first child.

Kardashian has not publicly addressed her husband’s presidential bid, but emphasized in her recent statement that “living with bipolar disorder does not diminish or invalidate his dreams and his creative ideas, no matter how big they feel to some.”

“I understand Kanye is a public figure and his actions at times can cause strong opinions and emotions. He is a brilliant but complicated person who on top of the pressure of being an artist and Black man, who experienced the painful loss of his mother, and has to deal with the pressure and isolation that is heightened by his bipolar disorder.”

Kardashian, who married West in 2014, concluded the lengthy post by calling on society to use the grace they show while discussing mental health to those “who are living with it in times they need it most.”

“I kindly ask that the media give us the compassion and empathy that is needed so that we can get through this,” she wrote. “Thank you to those who have expressed concern for Kanye’s well-being and for your understanding.”

The two have four children, North, 7, Saint, 4, Chicago, 2 and Pslam, 14 months.

The New York Daily News article is here.

Photo by David Shankbone – Own work, CC BY 3.0

Marriage, Pot, and Divorce

Posted by Ron Kauffman on July 20, 2020 with 0 Comment

Marriage, pot, and divorce have become issues family courts have been dealing with as marijuana laws change across the country. But this post discusses something else entirely, the marriage of a woman to an actual clay pot.

Pot Divorce

Kumbha Vivah

In the New York Times, a Hindu writer living in Hong Kong writes about her big wedding day . . . to a clay pot.

“From here on, it’s me and Mr. Pot. Mr. Pot and I. He’s curvaceous. I’m just nervous.”

In India, fate or destiny is not just inescapable, but a rational scapegoat for the bad times and a benevolent provider for the good times. In every Indian city, fortune tellers set up shop, there are universities dedicated to astrological understanding, and TV shows of gurus fielding viewers’ burning questions about the stars.

When a boy or girl is facing the misfortune of “manglik dosha” in their horoscope, one of the only spiritual solutions is Kumbh Vivah – the process of marrying a ceramic pot to remove any bad karma. Kumbh Vivah is a real solution for any aspiring young manglik wishing to marry.

According to one New York Times writer’s astrological chart, Mars occupied her house for love and marriage. And that, in Vedic astrology, made her “manglik,” or Mars cursed! Problem was, she fell in love with a non-manglik, and her parents refused to let her marry him. There was one imperfect solution:

kumbh vivah: marry a ceramic pot instead.

Florida, Pot, and Divorce

Marriage, pot, and divorce frequently come up in Florida too, but usually not the ceramic variety. I have written about the use of marijuana and how it can impact your custody case. No data exist to show how often marijuana use comes up in custody disputes, or how often child welfare workers intervene in homes where marijuana is used.

But in dozens of interviews, the consensus is clear: marijuana’s growing acceptance is complicating the task of determining when kids are in danger.

Medical marijuana implementation plans are being introduced and discussed in legislatures around the country. Florida’s Amendment 2 expanded the previously limited Florida medical marijuana law.

Florida has not legalized recreational marijuana. Many states and the District of Columbia currently have laws broadly legalizing marijuana in some form. Seven states and the District of Columbia have adopted the most expansive laws legalizing marijuana for recreational use.

Most recently, California passed a measure in legalizing recreational marijuana use the way Colorado considers marijuana use legal. Marijuana is still listed as a Schedule I controlled substance, like heroin, under federal law.

Whether you are a parent with a medical marijuana prescription, the analysis of whether your custody case can be impacted by smoking pot will depend on the facts and circumstances of your case. There is no hard and fast rule for the use of medical marijuana by parents involved in a custody dispute.

A Match Made in a Kiln

If a person is advised to perform a Kumbha Vivah wedding, they are taught the ceremony is like a real wedding, but there is no need to call friends and guests. This is typically a private and closed marriage ceremony which the bride (or vase) is going to end soon.

They are not very expensive either, which is helpful as wedding costs have skyrocketed. The approximate cost of a Kumbha Vivah is 7000 Indian Rupees, about $93. But the mantras and procedures are similar to a real marriage.

In Bali, the New York Times writer held Mr. Pot in her hands, and when the prayers ended, stood up together, and walked outside the temple to a quiet, deserted space.

And then I smashed my new husband into the ground, shattering him into tiny pieces!

The thinking is that the pot represents a husband who would be the reason why things are destined to go wrong. Divorce, by smashing the clay pot, symbolizes the end of that ill-fated marriage. Ostensibly, the curse is lifted and the manglik can marry the man they want.

Eight months later, she married her real husband under the blue skies of Bali, surrounded by gleaming family and friends. They walked around a fire, exchanged vows and danced all night. Most important, the parents delightfully embraced her husband.

She has been happily married for four years. Make of that what you wish.

The New York Times article is here.

*Photo credit Alicia Nijdam – Flickr: Gaurav and Anu’s wedding, CC BY 2.0

Greener Grass and the Marriage Length

Posted by Ron Kauffman on July 6, 2020 with 0 Comment

Greener Grass and the marriage length come to mind now that country singer, Carly Pearce, filed for divorce from fellow country star Michael Ray after a startling eight-month marriage. What does the length of a marriage mean in a divorce?

Divorce Length Marriage

It Won’t Always Be Like This

Their wedding took place on a farm outside of Nashville, Tennessee. Located on 40 rolling acres, the venue features a 19th-century mansion, three barns and a pavilion. Though the couple had hoped for an outdoor wedding, the weather didn’t oblige. All-day rainstorms drove the ceremony into one of the farm’s barns.

While her whimsical wedding was nothing short of a fairytale, eight months later, the 30-year-old singer filed for divorce from Michael. Pearce is an American country music singer and songwriter. Her material contains elements of both traditional and contemporary country-pop music.

She began performing professionally in her teens, appearing on several albums of bluegrass material in the 2000s. After moving to Nashville, Tennessee, she began gaining more widespread notice.

She first gained major recognition in 2017 when her self-penned “Every Little Thing” found acclaim on satellite radio. The song helped her secure a major label recording contract and became a major hit, reaching number one on the Billboard Country Airplay chart.

Her debut album of the same name debuted in the top five of the Billboard Top Country Albums chart. Pearce has since released new material, including the 2019 single, “I Hope You’re Happy Now”.

Pearce released her second studio album, “Carly Pearce,” in February. Her duet with Lee Brice, “I Hope You’re Happy Now,” recently topped the Billboard country charts.

As recently as March, the couple appeared to be spending time together in quarantine. Pearce posted a selfie of her and her husband hanging out in lockdown.

Florida Marriage Length

I’ve written about divorce and the length of a marriage before. Florida Statutes actually define what the length of your marriage means. For example, in order to determine alimony, there is a rebuttable presumption in Florida that a short-term marriage is a marriage having a duration of less than 7 years.

Florida Statutes define a moderate-term marriage as a marriage having a duration of greater than 7 years but less than 17 years. And, a long-term marriage is a marriage having a duration of 17 years or greater.

How do you measure the marriage term? In Florida, the length of your marriage is the period of time measured from the date of your marriage until the date of filing of an action to dissolve your marriage.

In the Pearce case, an eight-month marriage would be considered “short-term” under Florida law. Is there short-term alimony for a short-term marriage? The Length of the marriage is very important when it comes to determining the kind of duration of alimony payments.

For example, permanent alimony is generally for longer term marriages if the statutory criteria are met. In shorter term marriages and for moderate term marriages, permanent alimony may be considered, but the burden of proof is much higher.

Conversely, bridge-the-gap alimony is generally awarded to allow a person to transition from being married to being single. So, bridge-the-gap alimony is designed for short-term needs. In fact, the length of an award bridge-the-gap alimony may not exceed 2 years.

Durational alimony helps provide a person with economic help for a set period of time after short or moderate length marriages or following a marriage of long duration if there is no ongoing need for support on a permanent basis.

The length of your marriage also factors in to property divisions. When a court divides the marital assets and debts, the court begin with the premise that the distribution should be equal. One of the factors a court can look to in justifying an unequal distribution includes the duration of the marriage.

“Love Has No Heart”

In April, the pair exchanged sweet birthday messages on Instagram.

“Happy Birthday to this guy, who also happens to be celebrating a Top 20 single this week (PROUD)! Of all the photos I have, I chose this one because I miss getting these secret selfies from guitar solos during your shows. What a crazy time, but I’m thankful to have you to go through it with. I hope this year is your best yet and brings you happiness, fun & enjoyment in life. Love you.”

Ray also wished his wife a happy birthday in April on Instagram.

There is so much going on around us but today it gets put on hold to celebrate your heart and you as a beautiful human. You ended your 20s with Platinum and gold singles you’re an inspiration tink and what a way to close it out. Now 30 it’s gonna be a decade that elevates all of life even higher. Hope you feel all the love you deserve today because you deserve it!”

In recent months, though, photos of the couple together became less frequent on social media. Pearce and Ray have not commented publicly on the reason for their split.

The Tennessean article is here.

The Divorce Pandemic hits Saudi Arabia

Posted by Ron Kauffman on June 8, 2020 with 0 Comment

The divorce pandemic hits Saudi Arabia after first starting in China, South Korea, and the United States – which have reported increases in divorce filings following the easing of some quarantine restrictions.

Saudi Divorce

Dry Statistics

According to Al-Amri, the number of divorce cases handled by courts across the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia reached 53,675 in 2017 or 149 cases each day.

But new reports show that divorce rates in Saudi Arabia have increased by 30% during the lockdown period enforced by the coronavirus or COVID-19 pandemic, reported the Dubai-based English language newspaper Gulf News quoting Saudi Justice Ministry.

The paper said the rate of divorce has increased compared to the same period last year.

However, during the lockdown period, 13,000 people also tied nuptial knots an increase of 5% compared to the same period in the previous year.

The ministry also informed that as many as 7,482 requests of divorce and Khula – a procedure in Islam which allows a woman to divorce her husband – were lodged.

According to the newspaper, some Saudi working women including doctors, citied secret marriages of their spouses as reasons for seeking a divorce.

Apparently, the preventive measures taken to stem the spread of the coronavirus including imposing lockdown – contributed to helping women to uncover the secret marriage of their husbands.

The high rate of divorce has become a destabilizing factor in Saudi society and it obstructs the Kingdom’s march to greater progress. Social consultant and researcher Salman Bin Mohammed Al-Amri has expressed his deep concern over the repercussions of the high incidence of divorce in society.

The office of the Grand Mufti approved 6,163 divorces during the same year, which is an increase of 846 cases compared to 2016.

“We should know that there are hundreds of divorces not recorded by the courts, so the actual figure could be much higher than what is officially reported”

The total number of divorces could be 40 to 45 percent of the total number of marriages, which was put at 159,386, in the same year. “This shows that we have to take drastic measures to bring down this huge number of divorce cases in the country,” Al-Amri told Okaz/Saudi Gazette.

Florida Divorce

I’ve written about the divorce statistics before. Forced together due to a shelter-in-place order may be the reason for your divorce, but legally you don’t need one. That’s because Florida is a no-fault divorce state.

Florida abolished fault as grounds for filing a divorce. Gone are the days when you had to prove adultery, desertion or annoying behavior in a government enforced quarantine.

The only ground you need to file for divorce in Florida is to prove your marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Additionally, the mental incapacity of one of the parties, where the party was adjudged incapacitated for the prior three year, is another avenue.

What do you do if you are trapped in quarantine with someone you want to separate from?

To avoid problems during a quarantine, you may have to force yourself to work together – however difficult that may be.

Couples who are separating or separated already, and are parents, are being forced to work as a team and talk through problems that are making forced quarantine impossible. Reassure each other that you will make it through and work together.

The key if you’re living together is to strike the right balance between having quality intimate time together, or if you’re at the brink of your relationship, giving each other some space.

Shifting Sands

Measures must be taken to control divorces to reduce its social impact as it causes untold problems to the children of divorced couple. Men and women who have separated after years of living together also face psychological, economic and social problems.

“We have to conduct a detailed study on the increasing number of divorce cases in Saudi society to find a viable solution.”

Injustice, lack of honesty and trust, and confusion are the hallmarks of divorce cases across the Kingdom. It destabilizes families, the foundation of society.

Saudi and Gulf societies have changed considerably in recent years as a result of foreign influences and other factors, largely affecting social, cultural and economic norms.

“Our families have been influenced by the new urban culture and modern information technology. Education and employment of women and the Kingdom’s openness to foreign cultures were other factors that increased the divorce rate.”

Many parents have failed to prepare their sons to get married by training them to take responsibility. Some men fail to fulfill their Shariah duties toward their wives while those having more than one wife fail to treat all of them fairly and equally.

There are many other reasons including bad temper, infidelity, drug and liquor habits, miserly attitude and high dowry, in addition to psychological, health and social reasons.

Al-Amri said women are the most affected in case of divorce due to society’s negative attitude toward them. A divorcee loses economic support and financial security provided by her husband and this brings down her living standard, in addition to making her a burden on the family.

“As a result of this situation, such women will be forced to seek financial help from the Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs and charitable organizations. This will lead to depression and push them to commit suicide,” he explained.

Most divorced Arab women are unlikely to get married for a second time because of the tough attitude of society toward them.

The situation of divorced men is not very different as they too face a lot of difficulties and mental pressure. They may be forced to pay to child support. Many divorced men are afraid of marrying another woman due to the failure of the first marriage.

Children are the worst hit by divorce as they will lose the sense of security and will not be able to concentrate on their studies. The father will try to take custody of his children and keep them away from their mother. “This will create a horrible family atmosphere for children,” said Al-Amri.

Instead of becoming leaders of progress and prosperity, separated men and women would become depressed individuals unable to make any contributions to the country’s growth. It will increase financial burden on the state, charities and civil societies as the divorcees and their children will require financial support.

The Al Arabiya article is here.

Can Divorce Privacy Fly?

Posted by Ron Kauffman on June 4, 2020 with 0 Comment

Singer R. Kelly no longer needs to wonder can divorce privacy fly in his case. We now know his legal name is Robert S. Kelly, and a lot of embarrassing information he wanted kept private. Although the files were initially sealed by the court in his divorce case, they have been opened to the public by an appellate court.

divorce privacy2

Surviving R. Kelly’s Divorce

In 2006, R. Kelly filed a petition to dissolve his marriage with wife Andrea. In June 2013, the family court entered an agreed order directing that the entire court file be sealed because of a “serious likelihood of the media culling through the record for the purpose of revealing painful, potentially scandalous, details.”

In 2019, radio station WBEZ and the Chicago Tribune filed a joint motion to access the sealed court files after a more than $160,000 in unpaid child support landed the singer in jail, and just three weeks after Kelly was jailed while gathering the cash to post bond on criminal sexual abuse charges tied to allegations by four women.

Kelly and his former wife have been battling over finances for more than a decade, with the embattled R&B singer and his reality TV star ex each claiming poverty at times, the unsealed divorce filings show.

Among other revelations, Kelly was repeatedly accused of falling behind on child support and he sought to reduce them, claiming he had seen a “steady decline in his popularity” due in part to his “age, drastic decline in record sales, increased album purchase prices …. and the overall economic downturn.”

In response, Andrea Kelly tried to have his child support payments increased, saying he had “gone to great extents” to hide his income and assets. She also noted in the filing that her pay from the reality TV show “Hollywood Exes” wasn’t sufficient to pay the bills.

Kelly’s attorneys revealed that the singer faced a tax liability of more than $7 million and that the mortgage on his house in suburban Olympia Fields — often mentioned as the site of his alleged improper sexual encounters with teenage girls — had been foreclosed.

As long-standing allegations of predatory sexual behavior against Kelly gained public attention, his former wife accused him of withholding payments as punishment for her speaking out about his alleged abuse. In turn, Kelly has said her public allegations have made it difficult for him to earn money.

Florida Divorce Privacy

I’ve written on divorce privacy issues before. Divorce privacy is an issue that comes up a lot. Divorces in generally, and court records themselves, are public events, and the filed records of court proceedings are public records available for public examination.

Both the public and the media can challenge any closure order by filing the appropriate motion in court. The closure of court proceedings or records should only occur when it’s necessary to comply with established public policy, to protect trade secrets; or to protect children in a divorce among other reasons.

In addition, Florida has new rules protecting sensitive data from public view. This includes protecting Social Security, Bank Account, Debit, and Credit Card Numbers because if those numbers are included in a document, they may become part of the public record.

If information is absolutely required, there is a rule with procedures for sealing and unsealing of court records. Also, the Clerk of Court has the authority to redact or make confidential only specific information.

If sensitive information has already been filed in Court Records, you must complete and submit a “Notice of Confidential Information Within Court Filing” in order to remove or seal it.

“When a Woman’s Fed Up”

Andrea hinted at the long legal tussle in comments for the Lifetime documentary series “Surviving R. Kelly,” which featured multiple women accusing Kelly of wrongdoing and amplified the wave of public backlash against the singer.

“People think that I’m living this great, lavish life, but they don’t understand,” she said. “… People just think oh, you know, she wants to come forward now because the checks stopped. … The checks have been over for a very long time.”

Originally, the family court order allowed public access “to the entire court file, including the redacted documents and noting the sealed documents” beginning on August 13, 2019.

But then the court clerk placed material in the public file that the court had ordered to be sealed and the court thereafter restricted further access in the best interest of the children.

WBEZ appealed and the appellate court reversed finding the right of the public to review court records is supported by constitutional guarantees and case law.

“Litigation is a public exercise; it consumes public resources. It follows that in all but the most extraordinary cases complaints must be public. Consequently, judicial proceedings in the United States are open to the public.

Access to judicial records is not absolute, and every court has supervisory power over its own records and files, so it may deny access at times. The party opposed to public access must establish both that there is a compelling interest favoring a closed file and that the protective order is drafted in the least restrictive manner possible.

One scenario in which a court may deny public access is where the court finds that a public hearing may be detrimental “to the child’s best interests.” In a dissolution of marriage case, the court may order the sealing of records of “any interview, report, investigation, or testimony.

Here, the appellate court found redacted documents that didn’t contain confidential information relating to the parties’ children’s medical care, nor otherwise support the court’s concern for the best interests of the children.

The documents also did not refer to a child of either party, and they didn’t provide sufficient information to identify any specific other child. At best, redaction merely protected R. Kelly from embarrassment, which is an impermissible basis to withhold material from the public.

In light of the strong public policy in favor of public disclosure of judicial proceedings, we therefore hold that the circuit court abused its discretion in redacting paragraphs 26-29 in the body of count II of the March 2014 motion, and the corresponding prayer for relief in count II.

The Reason article is here.

*Photo credit Andrew Steinmetz

Swinging into Divorce

Posted by Ron Kauffman on June 1, 2020 with 0 Comment

There are many reasons why happy marriages are swinging into divorce. Some blame the coronavirus quarantine. Others can point to financial causes. But Silicon Valley actor Thomas Middleditch has found another reason: the swinging lifestyle.

Swinging into Divorce3

“Swinging Saved Our Marriage”

Actor Middleditch has excellent advice for any couple wanting to have a successful swinging and polyamorous marriage: Be open about your rules as a couple.

“Mollie and I have created our own rules, and compared to most of the people we’ve met who do this kind of (stuff), our rules are strict. It’s a perpetual state of management and communication, to the point where it’s like, ‘All right, we’ve got to stop. Chill.’ I’m gas, and she’s brakes. This is actually the premise for a comedy series we’re writing together.”

Thomas Middleditch told Playboy in September he and his wife Mollie are into the swinging lifestyle.

The “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” star told the magazine he’s been to some sex parties, “some weird parties that were very ‘Eyes Wide Shut,’ from which I walked away thinking, ‘I don’t need it, but I’m glad I saw that.'”

Mostly, he says, his first concern is his wife. “Anything that happens has to be run by the queen…I love my wife like I’ve never loved anyone before. With two people who feel that way about each other, how do you go down that road? It’s tough. Bring a therapist along for the ride.”

Citing “irreconcilable differences” Mollie Gates filed for divorce on May 28 after they separated on May 22. Mollie has requested spousal support. The couple do not have any children together.

Florida Grounds for Marriage

I have written about some of the various reasons why people divorce in the past: snoring, calling the bride “fat” at the wedding and others. In Florida, a divorce is called a “dissolution of marriage.” Florida abolished fault as a ground for dissolution of marriage. The only requirement to dissolve a marriage is for one of the parties to prove that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

Either spouse can file for the dissolution of marriage. Generally, you have to prove that your marriage exists, one of the spouse’s has been a Florida resident for six months immediately preceding the filing of the petition, and the marriage is irretrievably broken.

The reason for the irretrievable breakdown, however, may be considered under certain limited circumstances in the determination of alimony, equitable distribution of marital assets and debts, and the development of the parenting plan.

Every case is different, so results can differ from case to case. Outcomes in a divorce include, among other things, dividing the assets and debts, an award of alimony, determining the amount of child support, and parental responsibility and time-sharing schedules. There is no “one-size-fits-all” or “standard” dissolution of marriage in Florida.

But is that swinging lifestyle the cause of all of the marriage trauma?

Do all good things come to an end?

Ironically, the Silicon Valley actor’s split from his wife Mollie Gates comes just months after he revealed swinging had “saved their marriage”.

A source told People: “They still care deeply for each other and will move forward as friends.” Their split comes just months after Thomas delved into the couple’s sex life with Playboy magazine. The actor, 38, told the publication last September: “Only after I got married was, I like, ‘Mollie, I’m sorry, but we have to get non-traditional here.’”

While this may seem like a standard celebrity separation buried amid more important weekend matters, you may recall that Middleditch gave a widely circulated interview with Playboy in late 2019 about their relationship, where he revealed that he told Gates, shortly after their wedding, that he wanted a “nontraditional” and open marriage.

“To her credit, instead of saying ‘Fuck you, I’m out,’ she was like, ‘Let’s figure this out.’ To be honest, swinging has saved our marriage,” he said at the time. “We have different speeds, and we argue over it constantly, but it’s better than feeling unheard and alone and that you have to scurry in the shadows.” Middleditch also said that their experiences at sex parties is the “premise for a comedy series we’re writing together.”

Well, they may have found what the season finale looks like.

The Vulture article is here.

When World Leaders Divorce

Posted by Ron Kauffman on May 8, 2020 with 0 Comment

Courts are open remotely, lawyers are practicing law, and if you are wondering whether you are able to get a divorce, know that the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Boris Johnson, was able to obtain his divorce during the quarantine. It’s not just world leaders like the Prime Minister who are now free to plan their future wedding. Now, anyone can start their future after the lockdown restrictions are eased.

World Leader Divorce

London Has Fallen

Boris Johnson, of course, is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. The world leader is the head of government of the United Kingdom, and directs both the executive and the legislature, and together with their Cabinet is accountable to the queen, to Parliament, to their party, and ultimately to the electorate, for the government’s policies and actions.

Marina Wheeler, 55, shares four of the Prime Minister’s six children and applied for a decree absolute in February. It is understood that the divorce was granted before Ms Symonds gave birth to Mr Johnson’s sixth child Wilfred last week. Ms Wheeler, a leading barrister, started divorce proceedings last year after she and Mr Johnson separated in 2018.

Florida Divorce

I have written about when divorce impacts a world leader, CEO of a large company, and everyone else. Divorce can be stressful, and can have an impact on people going through it. With the coronavirus spreading throughout the world, and courts on lockdown, it is good to know that legal remedies are continuing despite the pandemic, and that people are still able to get a divorce.

Divorces in the United States are state government remedies. With the family court system prohibiting entry to lawyers and clients except for emergency cases, many think that they cannot get a divorce. The opposite is true.

With the widespread use of zoom, courts are regularly holding divorce and family law proceedings electronically.

British prime ministers, like U.S. presidents, have little connection to divorce. Ronald Reagan was the only president of the United States who was even divorced. Until now. President Elect Donald Trump has been divorced twice.

There are some very interesting statistics about divorce:

– In America, the divorce rate for a first marriage is around 41%.

– In England and Wales the divorce rate is about 42%.

– The divorce rate for a second marriage is 60%.

– The divorce rate for a third marriage is 73%.

– The average length of divorce proceedings in the United States is 1 year.

– Western states have the highest marriage and divorce rates, followed by the South. The Northeast has the lowest marriage and divorce rates.

– Nevada has the highest rate of divorce at 14.7%.

– Florida’s rate of divorce is around 13%

– If a spouse has gained more than 20% of his or her body weight, divorce is more likely.

Back in England

The Prime Minister also has a fifth child, an 11-year-old daughter Stephanie, with art consultant Helen McIntyre. He was previously married to socialite Allegra Mostyn-Owen from 1987 to 1993. Sonia Purnell, Mr Johnson’s former colleague at the Telegraph and author of his biography Just Boris, said his ex-wife played a pivotal role in his political career.

‘Marina was a very important and supportive figure in Boris’s career. She persuaded him to take the McPherson Report into institutional racism in the police seriously. She persuaded him, as Mayor of London, to be more liberal on issues like immigration. He does owe her an awful lot. She has been a real stabilising influence in his life.

Since Ms Wheeler and Mr Johnson separated two years ago, she has surgery for cervical cancer last year and her mother Dip Singh died in February at the age of 87. She said her cancer diagnosis made her appreciate the ‘value of holding close those who you love and trust.’

A source close to the family told the Mirror: ‘Marina has been through so much over the last two years. Fortunately her family have been very close and supportive, particularly her sister Shirin.

‘Marina was an equal in that marriage. There was a point where Boris seemed to have a sense of real regret that he had endangered his marriage with his affairs. ‘Although there is no doubt she was hugely hurt by all his betrayals she would have no interest in standing in his way. She will want to move on with the next part of her life.’

Mr Johnson and Ms Symonds announced they were engaged on February 29, while also announcing they were having a baby in early summer. The couple’s first child, a son, was born on April 29.

The PM and his partner revealed their new son’s full name as Wilfred Lawrie Nicholas Johnson last week, with the first name a tribute to Mr Johnson’s paternal grandfather, Osman Wilfred Kemal, and Lawrie a reference to Ms Symonds’ grandfather.

The Daily Mail article is here.

Divorce Waiting Periods

Posted by Ron Kauffman on May 4, 2020 with 0 Comment

With quarantines loosening up around the state, there has been a constant stream of reports of couples filing for divorce. What if, after weeks in quarantine, you discovered you had to wait two years to divorce? Citizens of Pennsylvania are in for a surprise when their quarantine ends, as the governor has changed their waiting period.

PA Divorce 2

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolf signed a new state law that reduced the divorce waiting period time after a no-fault divorce from two years to one.

Law 102, which will enter into force by 60 days, reduces the waiting period for a one-way divorce without errors from two years to one.

Marriage in Pennsylvania is a traditional divorce and two types of divorce without errors: mutual consent and a two-year separation. Separation simply means that you and your spouse live separately and individually, either under one roof or otherwise.

It is important to note that a one-year divorce waiting period does not necessarily mean that the divorce will be completed in one year. Proponents of the new law believe that it will reduce emotional pressure on families, which seems to worsen the two-year waiting period.

This new rule can save your spouse time, money, and emotional trauma. There is also a delay for people whose spouses disagree with the divorce.

Florida Divorce Waiting Period

The official term for divorce in Florida is “dissolution of marriage”, and you don’t need fault as a ground for divorce. Florida abolished fault as a ground for divorce.

I’ve written about divorce and your rights before. Helping to expedite your divorce, the no-fault concept in Florida means you no longer have to prove a reason for the divorce. Instead, you just need to state under oath that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

Florida also has a divorce waiting period of sorts, although it’s not as long as Pennsylvania’s.

In Florida, no final judgment of dissolution of marriage may be entered until at least 20 days have elapsed from the date of filing the original petition for dissolution of marriage.

However, the court, on a showing that injustice would result from this delay, may enter a final judgment of dissolution of marriage at an earlier date.

Either spouse can file for the dissolution of marriage. You must prove that a marriage exists, one party has been a Florida resident for six months immediately preceding the filing of the petition, and the marriage is irretrievably broken.

Back at The Office

From Pittsburgh to Scranton, residents across Pennsylvania will be heading back to the office. A shorter divorce waiting period makes life easier not only for those divorced couples, but also for their children. In a statement, however, Republican Tara Tohil from Lucerne County, who sponsored the bill, said the quickest solution was in everyone’s favor.

“A shorter waiting time helps solve the couple’s financial situation faster and at a lower cost so that they can take care of the well-being of their children,” she said.

Although Law 102 shortens the waiting period after separation from two years to one year, the actual date of separation is still an important factor that can determine many aspects of the divorce process.

The fact is that happy couples will not file for divorce using a simple procedure. After you file for a divorce in Pennsylvania without your fault, you and your spouse will have to wait 90 days from the date you filed the complaint about the divorce before you file 5a and 5b, declaring your consent to the divorce. Therefore, if both parties agree to a divorce and each of them submits an application to the court, the divorce process can be completed much earlier if neither side agrees.

Although an erroneous divorce is always possible, most Pennsylvania couples are perfectly divorced, which means that one spouse is not required to prove that the other has committed an offense. Both spouses must be available and ready to sign legal documents confirming that they agree to a divorce. Thus, the waiting time is only 90 days.

Lehigh Valley’s Morning Call article is here.