Month: March 2019

Five Simple Reasons for a Prenup

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

If you’re planning on getting married this year, you may be thinking about getting a prenuptial agreement. If so, you would not be alone. More and more people have requested prenups in the past few years. Here are five simple reasons why you should consider a prenuptial agreement before you get married.

Prenuptial Agreement

Prepare for the Worst

While I have written on the topic of prenuptial agreements before, U.S. News and World Report offers an article with some pros and cons about prenups you may want to consider. For example, entering a prenup can help you prepare for the worst.

If you watched your parents’ divorce – or have close friends who have divorced – you understand that divorce can happen to anyone.

What you may want to consider is that divorce can be planned for, so that its consequences are less severe on you. For example, a prenup can eliminate stressful issues relating to alimony, property division and your inheritance.

Protection from Debt

A prenup can also protect you from your spouse’s debt. Debt is probably one of the most common reason for a prenup with people going through first-time marriages. Sadly, part of divorce means taking care of debt that was incurred during the divorce.

In a perfect world, both people walk away responsible for the debts they created. Unfortunately, that is not the law.

The problem with debt is especially important today considering how much student debt people are carrying. No one wants to get divorced and add their ex’s graduate school debt to their own. A prenup can help you in dividing debts before they become a problem.

Transparency

A prenup forces you to commit to full transparency when it comes to talking about your finances.

If you openly talk about a prenup, chances are you’ll become better as a couple at discussing details about your finances and other concerns about marriage.

During your conversations with your future spouse, you may also learn some important things about your partner. You may, for example, find out before the wedding that the person you’re going to marry has numerous lawsuits and years of unpaid taxes, what your role as a parent will be, and other issues.

Protect Valuables

A prenuptial agreement can protect valuable assets you want to stay in your family. For example, your grandmother’s diamond ring, that has been in a family for generations, and has acquired a personal significance and sentiment far beyond its market value, could be an heirloom you want to add to an agreement.

A prenup is meant to govern how assets such as investments, grandmother’s diamond ring, and property will be handled if after the marriage you decide to divorce.

Because of the importance of a prenup, if your future spouse comes to you with a prenup, and you haven’t been involved in writing it, you’ll want to bring in your own attorney.

Focus on Your Future

A prenup forces you to focus on the future. This may be a prenup’s biggest advantage and disadvantage. You are able to decide now how to handle and prepare for a future event.

The problem of course, is that no one knows what the future will bring. One person can leave a marriage much wealthier than the other. Or it could go the other way, and you could be contracted to pay your partner far more than you’re able.

That uncertainty about the future doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get a prenup. Generally, if you or your partner has a lot to lose in a possible divorce, you should consider getting a prenup. If you own a business, have a large retirement account or assets you want to pass onto your children, a prenup is essential.

The US News and World Report article is here.

 

Residency for Divorce

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Ireland is currently working on the wording of what the Irish electorate will be asked to vote on in the upcoming divorce referendum. Residency for divorce is an issue about the amount of time a person has to live in a state, and in some cases, live apart from their spouse, before they can file for divorce.

residency for divorce

Luck of the Irish

If the luck of the Irish holds out and the referendum is passed, the government would introduce primary legislation on the time period before you can get a divorce, rather than having it in the Constitution which must be put to a public vote when changes are proposed.

Under the current system, married couples need to have lived apart for at least four years during the previous five years. The new proposals would see that reduced to two years, with the Irish Legislature, the Oireachtas, providing the legislation for this.

The referendum is due to take place on 24 May, the same day as the local and European elections.

Florida Divorce Residency Requirement

Ireland is not alone in having a residency for divorce requirement before spouses can file a case. Most U.S. states for example, have some kind of a durational residency requirement for the plaintiff in a divorce and others add to that a requirement you live apart first.

I’ve written about things to consider when planning for divorce before. Residency for divorce is a very important jurisdictional requirement in every case.

Generally, the non-filing party need not be a resident in the state in order for the court to divorce the parties under the divisible divorce doctrine. The court’s personal jurisdiction over the non-filing spouse is necessary only if the court enters personal orders regarding the spouse.

The durational domicile or residency requirement goes to the heart of the court’s ability to divorce the parties, because the residency of a party to a divorce creates a relationship with the state to justify its exercise of power over the marriage.

What are some of the time limits in the United States? For example, Florida has a six-month requirement for residency before you can file for divorce here.

By contrast, Iowa has a one-year residency requirement for all spouses filing in the state. The same is true for Maryland, which requires that at least one spouse be a Maryland resident for at least one-year before filing for divorce. Maryland law also requires the couple to live apart for at least 12-months before filing for divorce.

The rule sounds easy enough, but failure to adhere to the rule may cause the court to enter a divorce decree without having the proper jurisdiction. In that event the divorce decree could be called into question.

The Irish Journal article is here.

 

Divorce Infidelity and Gender

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

With one in five British adults admitting to cheating on their partners, monogamy is clearly not as straightforward a concept for some as it is for others. Could the impact of an affair differ based on your sex? Divorce, infidelity and gender is the topic of a recent report from England.

divorce infidelity and gender

Seven Year Itch

As the Independent reports, divorce, infidelity and gender studies have revealed that men may have a greater tendency than women to go ahead with or contemplate committing adultery in heterosexual relationships.

In fact, recent research has shown that they can be less forgiving than their female counterparts when considering divorce on account of infidelity. New research conducted into behavioral patterns that can lead to divorce, coming to illuminating conclusions about the impact of adulterous conduct on marital bliss.

According to the findings, almost a third of divorces occur when men and women have forgiven past wrongdoings but have finally “run out of patience.”

This bad behavior refers to a number of issues, including adultery, financial problems and substance abuse. Interestingly, some people are finding that women are more likely than men to try to salvage a broken marriage, despite their partner’s unfaithfulness.

Florida Divorce and Infidelity

I’ve written about divorce infidelity and gender issues before, but not specifically how men and women differ in the impact of an affair. One reason is that in Florida, we have no-fault divorce laws. No-fault divorce laws are the result of trying to change the way divorces played out in court.

In Florida no fault laws have reduced the number of feuding couples who felt the need to resort to distorted facts, lies, and the need to focus the trial on who did what to whom.

Florida abolished fault as grounds for filing a divorce. Gone are the days when you had to prove adultery, desertion or unreasonable behavior as in England.

The only ground you need to file for divorce in Florida is to prove your marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Additionally, the mental incapacity of one of the parties, where the party was adjudged incapacitated for the prior three year, is another avenue.

Indecent Proposal

Adultery can be the cause of a divorce, but can divorce, infidelity and gender impact the outcome? Since Florida became a no-fault state, the fact that, “she (or he) is sleeping with a co-worker” doesn’t hold much traction in court any more.

When is adultery relevant in divorce in Florida? Although we are a no-fault state, there is still a statutory basis for infidelity to be an issue in your divorce proceedings, but not as a reason for divorce.

Some people think no fault divorce is one of the main reasons for a high divorce rate. Despite the recent legislative moves in the UK, there is a movement here to return to the old “fault” system to promote families.

Unfaithful

According to the Independent, researchers were surprised time and again by the ability of some men and women to almost turn a blind eye to their partner’s misbehavior.

However, the cases show how many people in such a situation find their patience ultimately exhausted, usually when the misconduct becomes too difficult for themselves and others to ignore.

“In some cases, that means being told by friends and relatives about extra-marital affairs which they were already aware of or discovering the true extent of a spouse’s financial difficulties and learning that they impact on a business as well as at home.”

On the other hand, the odds of men tolerating their wives’ dishonesty are far lower than the other way around.

Fatal Attraction

In Britain last year, the Office of National Statistics stated that the number of women petitioning for divorce against their husbands as a consequence of their spouses’ misconduct had decreased by 43 percent since 1996.

Meanwhile the number of men divorcing their wives for the same reason had increased by approximately by a third.

Some speculate that the main reason why men and women are willing to give their marriages another go is due to the negative effect separating will have on their children.

Divorce, infidelity and gender studies are surprising people in how different genders react. Arguably the principal factor in staying together is a desire to remain married for the sake of their children. Once those children have left home, a number of unhappy parents decide to take advantage of what they regard as an opportunity to leave a troubled marriage.

The Independent article is here.

 

Set Up a Divorce Plan

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

USA Today reports that few people marry and then plan for divorce or death. But based on recent statistics, that is precisely what we should do. What are some things you should do to set up a divorce plan?

Set Up a Divorce Plan

The Statistics

Consider this: The average age of a widow in the U.S. is 59 and women divorce for the first time at age 30 (on average). Add to those statistics the fact that men tend to die five years before their spouses (76 for men versus 81 for women).

Most people have heard the statistic that “50 percent of marriages end in divorce.” That statistic seems to have originated in the 1980’s. Today, it is thought approximately 42-45% of marriages in the United States end in divorce (this does not include legal separations).

But when you break that down by number of marriages, you get some interesting additional facts. For example, while 42-45% percent of first marriages end in divorce, for second marriages around 60% end in divorce. Third marriages? Roughly 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

Planning

I’ve written about things to consider when planning for divorce before. The divorce statistics mentioned above really call for you to set up a divorce plan. A divorce plan should reflect goals, and the USA Today article has some excellent things to consider.

Get a planner

While most people run to a marriage counselor, what you may really need is a financial planner. Research shows that when the “money spouse” dies (typically the male partner), the “non-money spouse” ends up firing her investment manager over two-thirds of the time.

Review your Documents

Review your trust agreement every few years; if you don’t have a trust, get one. You may quickly realize your trust is outdated and go through a costly revision at just the time when you don’t need the added headache and hassle.

Keep 401(k) and IRA beneficiary forms. The bank may lose your beneficiary forms through the passage of time and through mergers and acquisitions.

Use a virtual binder

Consolidate your financial life on an aggregator.  Think of an aggregator as a virtual binder with a vault. All of your assets and liabilities feed into this software, and you have a real-time picture of your net worth and income from all sources.

Get a Postnup

These days, the postnup has become more important than ever. People are marrying when they are older, and better informed about the implications of marriage. Many people have married before. Because the divorce statistics for second and third marriages shown above are so high, more people are looking to sign postnuptial agreements.

The USA Today article on how to set up a divorce plan is here.

 

Divorce Court Circus

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

America’s Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was reportedly yelling and cursing his way through his recent divorce court hearing in New York. The judge blasted both the ex-Mayor and his wife, Judith Nathan, for turning the room into a divorce court circus.

Divorce Court Circus

Big Apple Circus

According to news reports, Giuliani snapped “Goddamnit!” at one point when accused by a lawyer for Nathan of failing to pay a $21,000 in nursing home bill arrears for her mother, as promised.

“That’s total bulls–t! That’s total bulls–t!” he hissed at another point, when the opposing lawyer, Bernard Clair, later suggested that Giuliani’s reported mistress, Maria Ryan, could be the one to grant appraisers access to multiple Florida properties they’re fighting over.

How do you avoid turning your trial into a divorce court circus?

Florida Divorce

If criminal court judges see the worst people acting their best, family judges see the best people acting their worst. Divorces are stressful, and issues like child custody, relocation, and domestic violence can take their toll on people.

I’ve written about courtroom behavior before. Since you’re always being evaluated in court, and in light of the Giuliani divorce antics, what follows is a list of “dos” and “don’ts” to avoid your own divorce court circus. (These are true stories by the way.)

  • Don’t – Come to a custody hearing wearing your Nazi uniform – complete with swastika patch on the arm and leather boots – and demand a family court judge let you see your son.
  • Do – Dress in a neat and professional manner.
  • Don’t – Speak on your cellular telephone because judges hate ringing cell phones. Judges hate ringing phone during your testimony.
  • Do – Keep your cell phone ringer off, and if you absolutely need to have your phone on, put it on vibrate.
  • Don’t – Take off your pants and show the judge your rear end.
  • Do – Keep your pants on.
  • Don’t – lose your temper in court, give the middle finger salute, dare the judge to hold you in contempt while holding your arms out as if you are being handcuffed and then contact the judge’s judicial assistant, and call her: “You little mother******; you and the judge, that mother****** son of a b****.”
  • Do – Be Courteous to the Court staff. Court personnel make the courts run efficiently, and angering court officers won’t help your case.

Sadly, these are cases of what people have actually done in court, and all of these instances are documented. Consider the seriousness of the divorce process and the stress family everyone is under to do the right thing.

A New York State of Mind

Acting as the divorce court circus master, Supreme Court Justice Michael Katz chided:

“Mr. Giuliani!” “Don’t interrupt the proceeding. You have lawyers representing you”.

The Giulianis don’t get along well together. For example, he alleges that Nathan approached him at the Emerald Dunes Golf Club in Florida and took his photograph. Nathan’s side said it never happened and that Giuliani shouted at her and insisted he was at the club buying items for his girlfriend’s daughter.

The judge reluctantly stepped in to play peacemaker.

“Whoever is in the room first gets to stay in the room. If Mr. Giuliani is in one room in one of their common clubs, he can go to a different room and visa versa.”

Earlier, the judge scolded at the parties and lawyers:

“At this juncture in a case — it’s been almost a year since filings — the process calms down. Yet it’s still a circus.”

Asked outside court what was holding up the divorce, Giuliani said, “Her.”

The New York Daily News article is available here.

 

Goin’ Down for a South Park Prenup

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

When your marriage is no longer ‘awesome-o’, and your house cannot be described as a ‘Casa Bonita’, what do you do? If you’re Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park, you file for divorce, ask for joint custody, and enforce your South Park prenup.

South Park Prenup

Fishsticks

According to documents obtained by TMZ, Trey Parker recently filed for divorce from his wife, Bookie Parker, a former exotic dancer. The parties were married in 2014, and Trey lists their date of separation as February 28, 2019.

Trey filed the divorce petition in Los Angeles, and they had one daughter together before getting married. Their daughter may have worked on the show, voicing the character Ike, Kyle’s adopted Canadian brother.

Parker, who also co-created Broadway Smash “The Book of Mormon” with long-time creative partner Matt Stone, was previously married to Emma Sugiyama. The couple divorced after two years of marriage.

Parker, 49, asks for his daughter’s legal and physical joint custody. He is also seeking to terminate spousal support on the basis of the couple’s prenuptial agreement.

Lucky for Trey, he reportedly has a prenuptial agreement. These days, the prenup has become more important than ever. People are marrying when they are older, and more people are better informed about the implications of marriage.

And for people like Trey Parker, they are marrying a second time. Like Trey, more people marrying a second time look to have a prenuptial agreements prepared.

Florida Prenuptial Agreements

Prenuptial agreements aren’t just for wealthy Hollywood people like Trey Parker, entering second marriages, they are important for any couple planning to marry. I have written extensively on prenuptial agreements.

A prenup can help keep your non-marital property yours. The property you brought into the marriage is yours – mostly. But over time it is common for people to start mixing things up. Inheritance funds get deposited into joint accounts; properties get transferred into joint names…and all for good reason.

Unfortunately, tracing commingled property is expensive, and hard to prove. But, if you put it in writing at the beginning, you might be able to avoid this task, and save some money down the road.

Prenuptial agreements also help you to change the law. For example, right now in Florida, there were two bills recently introduced at the Legislature, and an ongoing debate, about alimony. When you go to court, a judge has to follow state law regarding alimony.

However, through prenuptial agreements you can modify Florida’s legal standards for awarding alimony, you can terminate it outright in many instances, in addition to modifying what the current law says about the amount of support and the duration of the alimony period.

Second Marriages

This is a second marriage for Trey. For second marriages, a prenup is an especially good idea. What some clients don’t realize is that going through a second, third, or fourth divorce can be more complicated than first-time divorces.

In multiple divorces, couples are older, and have less time to make up for losses. Also, couples are competing for dwindling resources. Child-support, alimony, and dividing up of the retirement accounts may still be pending, and there can be little left to divide in a second divorce.

Some can simply state what assets each party has brought into the marriage, and what assets each party will take away if the marriage ends. Or, if there is a disparity in incomes, you can add to the contract how much the lower-income spouse will receive.

Imaginationland

As noted in the article, Trey is asking the court to enforce the prenuptial agreement he signed with Boogie Parker enforced. Trey has a net worth estimated to be $500,000,000 from his ventures as the co-creator of South Park and play The Book of Mormon among others.

Trey’s first marriage to This is also Parker’s second marriage after previously being married from 2006 to 2008.

The New York Daily News article is here.

Image attribution Gage Skidmore

 

Florida Alimony Reform Sausage

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

It’s been said laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made. If true, then it’s best you not read the two new Florida alimony reform bills recently introduced into the Florida House and Senate. For the unafraid, below are a few provisions of the House bill worth watching.

Alimony Reform

The Current Chorizo

In Florida, alimony is awarded to a spouse when there is a need for it, and the other spouse has the ability to pay for alimony. As I have written before, alimony can take various forms.

For example, alimony can be awarded to “bridge the gap” between married and single life. This is usually a short-term form of alimony, and in fact, can’t exceed two years.

Alimony can be rehabilitative – to help a party in establishing the capacity for self-support by developing skills or credentials; or acquiring education, training, or work experience.

Durational Alimony is awarded when permanent periodic alimony is inappropriate. The purpose of durational alimony is to provide you with economic assistance for a time after a short or moderate term marriage, or even long marriages, if there is no ongoing need for support on a permanent basis.

Permanent Alimony is awarded to provide for your needs and necessities of life as they were established during your marriage, if you lack the financial ability to meet your needs and necessities of life following a divorce.

The House Hot Dog

Alimony reform is a nationwide phenomenon.

Currently, there are two bills in Florida trying to be passed to amend our alimony statute and impact other statutes. However, many state bills, like Florida’s, are in progress, or are constantly evolving.

This year’s two bills fundamentally change many family law statutes and cases. Briefly, what we consider to be long and short marriages would change. This is an important measuring stick, because the types of alimony granted can change depending on the duration of a marriage.

Right now, for purposes of determining alimony, there is a presumption that a short-term marriage is less than 7 years, a moderate-term marriage is greater than 7 years but less than 17 years, and a long-term marriage is 17 years or more.

Under the new House bill, a long-term marriage would be 20 years or more, a mid-term marriage would be more than 11 years but less than 20 years, and a short-term marriage would be a marriage of less than 11 years.

Another proposed change concerns the type of alimony. Right now, when a court determines the type and amount of alimony, the court weighs several factors, including, the standard of living, the age and the physical and emotional condition of the parties and sources of income available to pay alimony.

Under the new House bill, a trial court awarding alimony would have to prioritize an award of bridge-the-gap alimony, followed by rehabilitative alimony, over any other forms of alimony. Additionally, the new bill eliminates permanent alimony.

The Equal Time-Sharing Bratwurst

Florida has a public policy that each child has frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents separate or divorce and tries to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities, and joys, of childrearing.

However, there is no presumption for or against the father or mother of the child or for or against any specific time-sharing schedule when creating or modifying a parenting plan of the child.

The new House bill would dramatically alter the law. The proposed bill would make it Florida law that equal time-sharing with a minor child by both parents is in the best interest of the child unless the court finds one of the stated reasons not to.

The House bill is available here.

 

New American Divorce Statistics

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

When a couple gets married, they expect it to last forever. Yet a study recently published has some new American divorce statistics that has made some interesting findings. For instance, every state has at least one city in which the divorced population exceeds the U.S. average.

divorce statistics

The reasons we divorce

Couples get divorced any number of reasons. But, there are several relatively common causes. A study published in the journal Couple Family Psychology found the following

lack of commitment was the most often cited reasons for divorce, listed by 75% of individual participants.

This was followed by infidelity at 59.6%, too much arguing at 57.73%, and marrying too young at 45.1% as the most common causes of divorce. Money problems, substance abuse and domestic violence were also cited as common reasons for divorce.

Florida Divorce

This is not the first study done about which state has the highest divorce rates, or which jobs are the most likely to divorce. I’ve written about the reasons for divorce before.

From a legal perspective, the reasons for the divorce are not always relevant. Florida is a no-fault state. No-fault laws are the result of trying to change the way divorces played out in court.

In Florida no fault laws have reduced the number of feuding couples who felt the need to resort to distorted facts, lies, and the need to focus the trial on who did what to whom.

Florida abolished fault as grounds for filing a divorce. Gone are the days when you had to prove adultery, desertion or unreasonable behavior.

The only ground you need to file for divorce in Florida is to prove your marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Additionally, the mental incapacity of one of the parties, where the party was adjudged incapacitated for the prior three year, is another avenue.

Divorce by the Numbers

Divorces happen all across the country, but the percentage of the population that is divorced can vary from city to city. In some places, more than 20% of residents 15 and older are divorced.

Every state has at least one city in which the share of the population that is divorced exceeds the U.S. divorce percentage.

In one state’s capital, just 13.3% of people 15 and over are divorced. Yet in another of the state’s cities, the divorce rate is more than double: 26.8%.

Those struggling with money are more likely to split up, while people in difficult relationships may be more reluctant to leave if they have a level of financial security that could be jeopardized by a divorce.

Some of the highest divorce population percentages included:

Arkansas: Newport
• Divorced population: 24.1 percent
• Married population: 28.7 percent
• Never married: 32.9 percent
• Median household income: $28,872

Indiana: Rochester
• Divorced population: 24.3 percent
• Married population: 42.1 percent
• Never married: 24.8 percent
• Median household income: $40,451

Colorado: Aspen
• Divorced population: 22.9 percent
• Married population: 31.4 percent
• Never married: 43.3 percent
• Median household income: $64,594

Florida: Southgate
• Divorced population: 22.3 percent
• Married population: 43.8 percent
• Never married: 24.5 percent
• Median household income: $48,508

New Mexico: Truth or Consequences
• Divorced population: 26.8 percent
• Married population: 37.9 percent
• Never married: 23.7 percent
• Median household income: $27,350

Some of the lowest are:

Hawaii: Hawaiian Paradise Park
• Divorced population: 16.9 percent
• Married population: 48.2 percent
• Never married: 26.4 percent
• Median household income: $51,908

Idaho: Sandpoint
• Divorced population: 17.8 percent
• Married population: 46.4 percent
• Never married: 24.7 percent
• Median household income: $36,706

Iowa: Knoxville
• Divorced population: 16.5 percent
• Married population: 46.7 percent
• Never married: 26.5 percent
• Median household income: $43,986

Nebraska: Ralston
• Divorced population: 16.1 percent
• Married population: 45.8 percent
• Never married: 29.7 percent
• Median household income: $55,837

North Dakota: Devils Lake
• Divorced population: 13.3 percent
• Married population: 40.2 percent
• Never married: 37.1 percent
• Median household income: $43,791

The Coloradoan article is here.