Five More Ways to Lose Your Divorce

On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Wednesday, June 12, 2013.

Anyone can tell you how to win your divorce. Few people ever tell you what not to do . . . until it’s too late. This could leave you wishing someone had warned you beforehand. So, if you want to learn 5 MORE ways to lose a divorce, pay attention.

6. Hire that mean lawyer you heard about

Run-of-the-mill divorces are boring. But everyone loves a good fight! Retaining the most litigious attorney in town will ensure that you will spend a lot of time contesting even the smallest and insignificant issues, and alot of money too.

Better still, once you’ve taken the gloves off, you’re guaranteed to get an equally aggressive response. Judges love it. What would you rather do, cheer on a couple of fighting lawyers, or deal with some dull legal issue?

7. Represent yourself

There is a quaint saying out there that: “the person who represents themself has a fool for a client.” Lawyers are for sissies and celebrities. I’ll let you in on a little secret: if you can divide by 2 and read, you can handle your own divorce. It’s really that easy.

8. Lie to your lawyer

There’s another old saying that: “in the middle of every client is a lie.” We expect it. And, lying to your attorney has two big advantages:

First, lying to your attorney will surprise your attorney in court, and we lawyers love to be surprised in court.

But there is another advantage: It tells your lawyer to watch out because you’re the type of client who will lie about anything. This will cause your attorney to drop your case as soon as possible, leaving your case dead in the water.

9. Lie to the judge

Let’s face it; if you want to lose, there’s really no substitute for lying to the guy or gal deciding your case. If you sprinkle a few lies in your testimony, pretty soon the judge will catch some, and start questioning everything you’ve said.

This is exactly what you want: to have the judge doubt everything about your case. Not only will you lose, you could win a free night’s stay at the Turner Guilford Knight hotel.

10. Bring the kids into it

Unfortunately, children are not parties to a divorce. That’s a shame, because kids love parties. In fact, the “Rules” require a court order to even bring your children to court. And we all know how much kids hate to be kept out of things.

So, bring the kids to court, let them read the court papers, and be sure to tell them what the other parent said about them. Involving the kids tells the judge that you will probably violate the judge’s order.

Play your cards right, and you can lose your case before you’ve uttered the first word.