Category: Divorce

Facebook Evidence In Divorce Trials

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Friday, February 22, 2013.

Divorce trials usually require the introduction of highly personal evidence. For example, it is common to hire private investigators to film spouses, or use forensic accountants to hunt for strange credit card charges.

Sometimes though, the evidence falls in your lap. Facebook and social media sites are often filled with very personal information which is increasingly being used in divorce trials. You may have heard of some examples:

  • A Husband posts his status as single and childless on Facebook while seeking primary custody of his children.
  • A mother is accused of never attending her kids’ school events because of her online gaming addiction. Evidence subpoenaed from World of Warcraft tracks her on-line with her boyfriend at the time when she was supposed to be with the children.
  • A husband denies he has any anger management issues, but posts on Facebook; “If you have the balls to get in my face, I’ll kick your ass into submission.”
  • A mom denies in court that she ever smokes marijuana, but then uploads photos of herself smoking pot on Facebook.

Is the evidence admissible? And if so, how do you prove the evidence is real and not maliciously put there? The Florida Bar Commentator published an article I wrote about using Facebook evidence at trial. Here is a brief abstract:

The article discusses the evidentiary potential of social media sites, and the peculiar challenges of authenticating materials from the internet. Social media websites like Facebook have had an astronomical growth worldwide, and are showing up in divorce trials. The article suggests some of the benefits and obstacles in gathering and using Facebook and other social media evidence at trial. The article also reviews the leading national cases on social media websites, and outlines when it is necessary to use computer forensic firms and other sources to ensure that the evidence is properly admitted.

My new article appears in the Winter 2013 issue of the Florida Bar Family Law Section Commentator.

Five Essential Tips Before Divorcing

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Saturday, February 9, 2013.

When you are thinking about divorce for the first time, your head may be swimming with questions: are you certain you want to your marriage to end? Can it be saved? What will happen to me? Can I afford this? When you decide it’s time to see a divorce lawyer, there are five essential things you should do.

Know What Assets You Have. Before you come in to see me, have a good idea of you and your spouse’s net worth. Know what investments and other assets there are; including any businesses and real estate, cars, boats, collectibles and jewelry. Divorce settlements should equitably distribute these assets. But, until you know how big the pie is, you won’t know how to fairly cut it.

Understand your Debts. Your house may be worth $1 million if you sold it today, but if your mortgage balance is $900,000, and your home equity credit line is another $100,000, your home’s real net worth is zero. A divorce settlement divides both debts and assets, and that could leave you with less than you’ve imagined. A good way to understand your liabilities is to list your family’s debts on a spreadsheet.

Learn your and your spouse’s current earnings. Increasing how much money you earn now may help you decide whether to walk away from your marriage without worrying about how you’ll pay your bills. Higher income can also allow you to hire legal and financial specialists to maximize your settlement.

Secure important papers and accounts. Make copies of your tax returns, paystubs, insurance policies, retirement account statements, passports, bank and investment account statements, deeds, and mortgage documents. Copy those papers, and store the originals in a secure place, such as a safe-deposit box. Secure your email, cell phone, your individual online banking and investment accounts by changing the passwords. You’ll want privacy from here on in, so create your own accounts where necessary, and change the passwords on existing accounts in your own name.

Check your credit. This is not a good time to be late with paying bills. You may need to borrow money to cover living expenses, or pay for lawyers and experts, and you may need to rely on your good credit. Also, a high credit score will help you make the transition to single life.

These five tips don’t mean you are going to file for divorce. They are just sound home finance practices. If you decide to reconcile, understanding your financial position will help you build a better marriage. If you divorce, following these tips could help make the transition to being single.

The Causes of Divorce

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Friday, February 1, 2013.

There are many reasons clients come to me to file for divorce. The top reasons I hear repeatedly include: difficult in-laws, financial problems, constant separation due to travel, and bad communication habits. I recently read about a reason I hadn’t come across before: my church caused it!

According to Florida’s FOX 8 WGHP, A husband is suing his Quaker church for encouraging his wife to leave him . . . and even helping her move out of their marital home after 28 years of marriage.

“I think the church had a great deal to do with [the divorce],” he said. “I won’t say they’re 100 percent responsible but they certainly made it happen. I don’t think she could’ve moved out if the church didn’t help her. They provided all the people to move the stuff.”

According to a Florida newspaper The Times News, the husband’s lawsuit also accuses the Church’s pastor of going on vacations with the couple (at the request of the wife) and spending time with the wife when the husband wasn’t present.

“The defendant’s pastor made multiple visits to Plaintiff and his wife’s residence to play Wii games with them not at the invitation of the Plaintiff,” Pegram claims in the suit.

The husband says his wife paid 60 percent of the household bills, and that he has struggled financially since she left him. He is suing the church for $180,000, in addition to $10 million in punitive damages.

The church has since denied the allegations and filed a motion to dismiss the case.

Can Divorcing Save You Money in Taxes?

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Sunday, January 6, 2013.

There are many good reasons people have for getting divorce. But should you get divorced for the money saved on tax filing status? The Eleventh Hour agreement to avoid the fiscal cliff known as the American Taxpayer Relief Act of 2012, was signed into law this week and may have created a new marriage tax. The Act may make divorce a very profitable decision for couples seeking to reduce their tax exposure, whether they want to divorce or not.

As the online news magazine The Fiscal Times reports:

Meet the new George and Martha – two investment bankers who fell in love over a bottle of Barolo while students at Wharton. They were made for each other: they had the looks, the lifestyle, and the resumes that Wall Street firms bid for . . . Before long they were each making about $400,000 a year. And, thanks to the Bush-era tax cuts, they were able to keep a lot of that money and live the high life.

…

The new law raises taxes on couples making more than $450,000 and individuals making more than $400,000. When their accountant told them they may have to limit their deductions because of their joint incomes as well, they asked her to run the numbers and come up with an alternative. As it turns out, George and Martha would save over $27,000 a year if they divorced. And so they did. But they’re still together, in some ways closer than ever.

Think about that for a second. If a couple could save $27,000 annually on their taxes, they could take a European cruise, Colorado ski vacation, put a little cash away towards college expenses, and even have some mad money left over – every year. How, just by divorcing and staying together in a long term relationship!

Gay Divorce is Here…or uhm There!

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Domestic Partnerships on Tuesday, January 1, 2013.

Marriage in Florida is limited to a man and a woman. divorce too. This means gay couples cannot legally marry in Florida. Their unions are not recognized either. What about gay divorces? While the issue of gay marriage appeared in the presidential elections, and is a hot topic in other states, there has not been a lot of news about the issue of gay divorce anywhere.

However, a Family Court in Ramat Gan, Israel corrects this omission. The Family Court last week approved a divorce between Professor Uzi Even and Dr. Amit Kama, two gay men. This is not the only first for Mr. Even, he is also the first openly gay member of Israel’s parliament, the Knesset.

The decision is an important one, because Israeli law only recognizes marriages performed under the auspices of religious courts. In Israel, gay couples are forbidden to marry. Instead, gay couples marry in civil ceremonies in other countries, or simply don’t marry. Unlike Florida however, their marriages are recognized in Israel when they return from abroad.

Israel’s Interior Ministry can try to veto the Family Court decision. The ministry would have to go to court in order to do so. A few years ago, the Israeli Supreme Court forced the Interior Ministry to recognize same sex marriages performed abroad, and ordered the government to list a gay couple wed in Canada as married. Same sex marriages are performed in Israel, but they have no formal legal status. As the Israeli paper Haaretz reports:

“The irony is that while this is the beginning of a civil revolution, it’s based on divorce rather than marriage,” newly divorced Kama, a senior lecturer in communications in the Emek Yizrael College, told Reuters. He and Even, both Israelis, married in Toronto in 2004, not long after Canada legalized same sex marriage. They separated last year, Kama said. It took months to finalize a divorce as they could not meet Canada’s residency requirements to have their marriage dissolved there. At the same time in Israel, rabbinical courts in charge of overseeing such proceedings threw out the case, Kama said.

By winning a ruling from a civil court, Kama and Even may have also set a precedent for Israeli heterosexual couples, who until now have had to have rabbis steeped in ancient ritual handle their divorces, legal experts say.

“This is the first time in Israeli history a couple of Jews are obtaining a divorce issued by an authority other than a rabbinical court, and I think there is significant potential here for straight couples” to do so as well, said Zvi Triger, deputy dean of the Haim Striks law school near Tel Aviv.

The End of the Starter Marriage

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, December 3, 2012.

A “starter marriage” is a marriage that ended in divorce before age 30, had no children and few assets or debts. Hollywood (California) tends to have a lot of starter marriages. The divorce rate leveled off in the 1990s – from about 50% of new marriages to about 43% currently. However, USA Today reports that a 2001 survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says 20% of divorces in first marriages now occur within five years.

Some of the risk factors for having a starter marriage:

The divorces of parents.” Parents didn’t serve as role models for staying together.

Lack of guidance from parents. Aware that they themselves had divorced, parents backed off talking about what makes marriage work.

Immaturity. Rushing to the altar.

Pressure to marry We may have a “marriage culture” that promotes “matrimania.”

Fortunately, the divorce of a Starter Marriage is much simpler and less expensive. Florida has a procedure for a simplified dissolution of marriage which people in starter marriages may be able to use. This simplified procedure may be used when:

The marriage cannot be saved;

There are no minor or dependent children, and the wife is not pregnant;

You have agreed to divide the things that you both own and owe;

No one is seeking alimony;

You have filed, or waived filing, financial affidavits;

You are willing to give up your right to trial and appeal;

You and your spouse are willing to jointly sign a divorce petition;

You and your spouse are both willing to go to the final divorce hearing;

If you do not meet these criteria, you have to file a regular petition for divorce. If you have any doubts or questions, ask a Florida board certified specialist in family and marital law.

Being Friends with your Ex-Spouse Could Save Your Life!

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Tuesday, November 20, 2012.

The divorce process forces spouses against each other, to view each other with suspicion, and as enemies. Not surprisingly, good relations after the divorce seem unlikely, and future friendships seem impossible. It takes a lot to make up with the person who may have ruined your life, or who has been public enemy #1 for a year or more. But just as it takes two to marry, it takes two to make a good or bad divorce. Here are some tips to help keep good relations after the lawyers and judges are long gone. And who knows, maybe it could save your life one day:

– Never express negative sentiments about your ex in front of your children.

– Give up blame, and take responsibility for how you act.

– Be polite. Minding your P’s and Q’s is never out of line.

– Don’t ask your children to keep secrets from their other parent.

– Take the high road.

– Respect your ex.

So how could following any of these guidelines save your life? Consider the following two cases:

Case No. 1 -Su Dan, 32, of China, gave part of herself – literally – to her former ex-husband, Tian Xinbing, 39, when she donated a portion of her liver to him. Dan and Xinbing divorced in July after 10 years of marriage. Two months later, Xinbing was diagnosed with liver cancer and late-stage cirrhosis. After learning that her ex was tenth on the donor waiting list, Dan offered to donate part of her liver.

Case No. 2 – Erica Arsenault, of Massachusetts, volunteered to donate a kidney to her former mother-in-law years after her divorce. The woman made the incredible offer nearly 10 years after she divorced the woman’s son. Six weeks ago, a successful transplant operation was performed and both women are healing now. They say the whole ordeal has brought a family separated by divorce closer than ever.

If You Want Your Marriage to Last Should You Move to New Jersey?

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Thursday, October 18, 2012.

Marriage and divorce are important events. Not surprisingly, researchers, policy makers, and the public are always interested in up-to-date information about the demographic characteristics of marital events, and they reveal a lot about nationwide patterns.

The New York Times recently reported on the latest Census figures about marriage and divorce. According to the 2011 American Community Survey released last month by the U.S. Census Bureau, New Jersey ranks last among the states in the percentage of residents 18 and older who are divorced.

The New York Times article notes a few reasons. “The composition of New Jersey married individuals is quite favorable across several indicators, providing some evidence for the low divorce rate,” said Susan L. Brown, a sociology professor and co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. “These factors include education, race-ethnicity, age, and age at first marriage.”

However, the Census revealed a lot of other interesting variations among U.S. states, and between men and women. For instance, the states with the highest divorce rates for men were Arkansas and Maine. But, the states with the highest divorce rates for women were different. Alaska and Oklahoma topped the charts in that category. How did Florida rank? Not terrible, a little under the national average for both men and women 8.5 per 1,000 men and 9.9 per 1,000 women. The national averages for men and women were 9.2 per 1,000 and 9.7 per 1,000 respectively. So, while New Jersey has one of the lowest divorce rates, it also has one of the lowest marriage rates too. Maybe you don’t need to pack your bags for the Garden State so quickly.

Keeping Your Divorce Private

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, August 27, 2012.

In divorce, we are all concerned with keeping our personal lives as private as possible. And, there are some new rules Florida courts have adopted which help to protect us from disclosing sensitive information to the public. However, one thing the new rules can’t protect you from is yourself.

Posting negative things on Facebook, emailing and texting insults, and making destructive comments about your ex-spouse, or soon to be ex-spouse, can impact your children in many ways. It can create anxiety and insecurity. It can raise their level of fear. It can make them question how much they can trust you and your opinions – or trust themselves. And it can add a level of unhappiness into their lives that they do not need.

I raise this because I see this a lot in my own practice, and a recent article I read said it in a way that may resonate with some:

The typical break-up thought process goes like this: You see your friends. You start blabbing. You complain over and over again. One of your friends finally tells you that you need to break up with the person. And you do. Then you go through the healing/complaining process, where you complain to your friends some more and they comfort you. They help you through the pain and you start feeling a lot better. Divorce is different.

To the normal blabbing I would add social media posts, emails and texts too. As the author of the article notes: Children are very sensitive – they can sense things; they can read between the lines. They read into emotions. We all have a responsibility to protect children from the trauma and emotions of the divorce process, and a good way to do that is to not “blab all over the place about how angry you are and how much you hate your ex.”

Gray Divorces

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Friday, August 17, 2012.

While the overall divorce rate in the United States has decreased since 1990, it has doubled for those over age 50. The surge has spawned the term “gray divorce.” As Jay Lebow, a psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, says:

“If late-life divorce were a disease, it would be an epidemic.”

One out of three boomers will face older age unmarried, says Susan Brown, codirector of the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in her new study The Gray Divorce Revolution.

By the time people are in their 50’s and older, issues of custody and child support may no longer be relevant. Instead, those issues are replaced with other challenges. Older people have had time to accumulate assets, one or both may be retired, and there are long term health care issues.

Many of those opting for gray divorces, however, fail to foresee its complications in today’s bleak economy. Here are some things to consider:

Valuing the Marital Estate – By the time a couple enters the golden years, they may have gold to divide, including businesses, retirement funds, and vacation homes. Valuing these assets can be difficult. The value of a business may not be apparent from balance sheets, and the sale or transfer of assets may have tax consequences. As a result, a financial advisor may be an important component in the divorce.

Medical Care – Health insurance is often tied to the employment of one spouse. With aging comes diminishing health, and declining cognitive ability. Courts may need to intervene if one party has dwindling capacity to handle their own affairs.

Long-Term Arrangements – Legal arrangements, such as wills and trusts, need to be reviewed to make sure they reflect post-divorce wishes. The same is true for long-term care, such as medical directives, living wills and trusts.

Retirement Plans – After 20 years of marriage, retirement plans can be substantial . . . and complex. Retirement plans vary in kind, and they all have different restrictions, tax consequences, distribution and vesting rules.

Lifestyle adjustment – Younger couples have time to re-accumulate wealth after divorce, but in Gray Divorces, the spouses have less time to re-establish themselves financially. One or both may be close to or in retirement, and face living on half of what they earmarked for retirement.

There are special interests involved when an older couples divorces. As always, information is power, so make a point to seek out experts for guidance.