Category: Divorce

Comedian Louis C.K. On Post-Divorce Fatherhood

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Wednesday, May 21, 2014.

There’s a thin line between comedy and tragedy. This is true in divorce. Louis C.K. is an actor and comedian. He is also a divorced father who shares custody. He has some interesting comments about being a divorced father.

Personally, I like his crabby and profane stand-up routine, His T.V. show Louie is also great. Last week Louis C.K. gave an interview on National Public Radio about divorce on the program Fresh Air. Here’s what he had to say:

There is a version of divorced life where you’re partners and you’re both taking care of the kids, the kids are spending equal time with each parent, and there’s balance and there’s harmony between the parents because they’re not married in a bad marriage anymore.

If you do it right, it’s a much better life for the kids. I was determined to make sure that my kids still felt me in their lives after divorce. And then I was astonished to find out that they wanted to be with me all the time, that this was positive for them.

It motivated me to make a good life for myself so that the kids would have a good home when they came to my place. And their mom is a good co-parent; we’re good partners together, we’re friends and we’ve both I think done a pretty good job of letting the kids feel like they have everything.

They have a mom and they have a dad who get along and who are both there for them.

This is a great example of what I’d call a near ideal post-dissolution relationship. No one is perfect, and I’m sure his relationship with his Ex is not so clean either. But Louis C.K. portrays his imperfections in the T.V. show:

When his T.V. daughter has to write a letter to AIDS for class, Louie offers some suggestions. “Dear AIDS,” he suggests. “Why don’t you cut it out?”

He’s funny. He’s not perfect. He is doing the best he can . . . and he’s there.

The NPR interview is available here.

Experts, Divorce and the New Rule Change

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, May 12, 2014.

We increasingly rely on experts in divorce trials. Most of my cases involve accountants, psychologists, or some other expert. Few people realize the expert witness rule dramatically changed recently.

I blogged about this rule change before, and have an article in the Florida Bar Commentator which deals with the issues in depth. One big question has to do with the way the rule was amended.

Under our constitution, the legislature can enact substantive law, but can’t pass procedural laws for the courtroom, or a separation of powers violation occurs. Many people have said the new expert rule change violates the Constitution.

For instance, the Florida Supreme Court recently refused to adopt the legislative changes to the newly created section 766.102(12), Florida Statutes, to the extent the high court saw them as procedural.

However, the Third District Court of Appeals just approved of the new statute in a case. A child, through his mother, sued her employer for her son’s premature birth and related health problems due to workplace stress.

The mother’s expert witness said that workplace stress caused the early delivery of her son with medical consequences, but the trial judge struck the expert’s testimony.

The Third District Court of Appeals upheld the Miami judge’s decision. The court noted that the statutory change requires all Florida courts to apply the new rule to all expert testimony, to apply it retroactively in pending cases, but did not discuss the possible constitutional controversy.

The Third District now joins the First District Court of Appeals in applying the new expert witness rule in pending cases.

The Third District Case can be read here.

Divorce is Contagious

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, May 5, 2014.

A Brown University study shows that the divorceof a friend can increase your own chances of getting divorced. Facebook keeps you in touch, but also brings people’s problems to you, and could be impacting divorce rates. Should you start planning for your divorce if your friend just filed?

The Brown University study, conducted in Framingham, MA, found that:

75% of participants were more likely to get divorced if a friend was divorced,

55% were more likely to get a divorce than someone who works with all married coworkers,

33% were more likely to end their marriage even if a friend of a friend got divorced.

22% of participants were more likely to divorce if they had a divorced sibling.

So, with divorce rates inching up recently, is there a virus floating around? Not really. Divorce dissolves your social ties. The Brown University study suggests that divorce is a “social contagion” – the spread of information, attitudes and behaviors through friends, family and social networks. In that regard, Facebook and Twitter are carriers!

“The key is that the effects are not so much geographical, but that you are emotionally or psychologically close to someone who gets divorced.”

I’ve written about some other facts about rising divorce rates before. The Brown University study though, had some other interesting results:

– Popular people are less likely to get divorced;

– Divorcées have denser social networks, and are much more likely to remarry other divorcées;

– The presence of children does not influence the likelihood of divorce;

– Each child reduces the susceptibility to being influenced by peers who get divorced.

– Attending to the health of a friend’s marriages supports your own.

Divorce itself is not contagious, but emotions can be. An abstract of the study can be found here.

Avoiding the Biggest Divorce Financial Mistakes

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, April 28, 2014.

Perhaps my favorite newspaper is the Wall Street Journal. Last week the WSJ ran a discussion about the biggest financial mistakes in divorcefrom expert financial consultants I wanted to share. Here’s what they had to say:

Ted Jenkin is a co-CEO and founder of oXYGen Financial, a financial advisory firm. Ed finds the number 1 mistake among divorcing couples is their lack of consideration around liquidity of assets.

It’s pretty common after a separation that one spouse will end up with the primary residence. While the math may show a true 50/50 split, the reality is that one of the spouses will be stuck with a paper asset that could be tough to dispose of.

For Charles Rotblu, vice president with the American Association of Individual Investors, the biggest financial mistake divorcing couples make is not settling quickly.

My first job in finance was with a firm specializing in the valuation of closely held businesses. We were hired to give an expert assessment of what a business was worth. A few cases dragged on because one or both spouses were more concerned with inflicting financial pain than moving on. All this served to do was to drive up the legal costs of the divorce.

Eleanor Blayney is consumer advocate of the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards. She worries that when strong emotions are put in the same cauldron as financial decisions, you have a recipe for disaster.

When spouses see money as the way to exact emotional revenge, the costs of divorce can be devastating. Find ways to separate the fury from the finances can protect both partners’ financial futures.

For George Papadopoulos, a wealth manager:

Getting a qualified divorce attorney to be on your side and look out for your own best interests is a must.

Michelle Perry Higgins is a financial planner and principal at California Financial Advisors.

You want to avoid making decisions on the basis of sentiments like “He can have everything, I just want this over” or “She can have the house, since the divorce was my fault.” To avoid this outcome, don’t rush through the divorce proceedings, organize your financial, estate and personal affairs and put all the information in one location, and then meet with your financial planner and divorce attorney to discuss your options.

I’ve blogged sound advice from other experts before. This advice is sound: (1) don’t fall into the liquidity trap, (2) proceed quickly to avoid running up legal fees, (3) Don’t let emotions cloud your judgment and (4) Get an expert divorce attorney.

Cheating and Divorce

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, April 21, 2014.

Cheating on your spouse isn’t only a crime in the eyes of your spouse, in Florida, it’s a crime punishable by a fine or even jail time. Can it impact your divorce?

USA Today reports that the New Hampshire legislature voted last week to repeal its anti-adultery law, sending the bill to the governor, who is likely to sign it into law. Last year, Colorado repealed its anti-adultery law.

Anti-adultery laws are rarely enforced, and are properly seen as a vestige of our country’s Puritanical beginnings, says Naomi Cahn, a law professor at the George Washington University Law School.

In Florida, whoever lives in an open state of adultery shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree. Where either of the parties living in an open state of adultery is married, both parties shall be deemed to be guilty of the offense.

I’ve written about the impact of cheating and divorce before. In practical terms, adultery poses very little threat of prosecution, but it could have other consequences.

Cheating on your spouse can even be grounds for losing your job. This is particularly true in the military, where adultery has a maximum punishment of a dishonorable discharge.

Chapter 61 discusses the “the moral fitness of the parents” as one of the factors the court considers in determining the best interests of a child.

Adultery may impact the division of property. Proof that one spouse intentionally wasted marital assets could be seen as dissipation of assets.

Adultery of either spouse could be a factor in determining the amount of alimony, if any, to be awarded.

Sometimes, evidence of adultery comes into evidence. Sometimes, it doesn’t. In 2003, the Supreme Court ruled in Lawrence v. Texas that sexual activity between consenting adults is legal. Whether Lawrence applies to anti-adultery laws is unknown.

The USA Today article can be read here.

Divorce Rates are Way Up?

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Sunday, March 30, 2014.

The accepted wisdom is that divorce rates have dropped since the 1980s, and have been declining since. I recently blogged about how more people are divorcing. Now there is a new report confirming that divorce rates have actually risen by a whopping 40%!

Part of the problem with counting divorces is that collecting divorce statistics in the United States is not consistent. Some counties keep good track of finalized divorce cases, others don’t. Also, different states and the federal Census Bureau have had a rocky history of collecting the data from across the country.

In fact, the federal government has stopped providing financial support for detailed state collection, and some states, especially California, have stopped reporting divorce rates entirely.

A new paper has looked to a different source of information: the American Community Survey, which is an ongoing sampling of population in every state. Here are some of their findings:

– Since 1980 the overall divorce rate has declined only 2.2%.

– Controlling for the change in the age of the population the divorce rate has actually risen 40%.

– The divorce rate peaked in 2011.

By the year 2010, the report notes, “almost half of ever married Americans had divorced or separated by the time they reached their late 50’s.”

The increase in the divorce rate is being blamed on the Baby Boomers, those born between 1945 and 1954. In the 1970s, Baby Boomers, who were then in their twenties, were equally likely to divorce.

But by 1990, couples in their twenties were more stable, but the Baby Boomers, who were entering their forties, continued to divorce “at unprecedented rates.” Since then, the biggest rise in divorce has the “massive increase” in divorce among women in their fifties.

The report also finds that younger married couples are actually enjoying more stable marriages than Baby Boomers did at their age. However, the reason divorce is lower for younger married couples today is that most younger couples are not getting married; instead they’re cohabitating.

Cohabitation has always been far less stable than marriages.

Our results document striking growth in…turbulence since the 1980s. Divorce at age 40 or higher is much more common than it was and because cohabitation makes up a rapidly growing percentage of all unions they have an increasing impact on overall union instability.

One point to keep in mind is the source of their data. Remember, Kennedy and Ruggles, relied on the American Community Survey for their data. the American Community Survey is just a household survey filled out by a single individual, and may not be the most reliable source of divorce reports.

An abstract of the Report can be found here.

Divorce Rate Increases

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Sunday, March 2, 2014.

The number of people divorce rose again for the 3rd year in a row. The broader economic effects of the increase are clear: It is contributing to the formation of new households, boosting demand for housing, appliances and furnishings and spurring the economy. Why are more people divorcing now?

Since Florida’s economy and housing market are recovering, more and more couples are moving forward with their divorces after years of showing up to work as if nothing were wrong in their personal lives.

Hard economic times kept many couples locked in unhappy marriages. Often people stay together for financial reasons. As Bloomberg reports, Amy Derose and her husband Lawrence stayed together for the sake of their engineering firm in Pompano Beach:

“The business was hanging on by a thread and we had to hang on,” said Derose, 53, who had been married 35 years and worked as the business manager. “We couldn’t afford to split. He needed me in the business and I needed him.”

However, there are economic effects from the increase in divorce filings: they are creating new households, boosting demand for housing, appliances and furnishings and may spur the economy.

More than 5 million new households were established in the past 4 years, and that helps to create housing demands by creating two households when before there was only one.

Newly single men are renting apartments to stay close to their children and attend school events. Newly single women are entering the work force:

“In unhappy marriages, they have started having the macroeconomic ability to unwind,” he said. That is creating “a little bit of a tailwind” for apartments.

Also helping to motivate people to get out of unhappy marriages are the rising stock and home values. The increase in home equity and investments has given people a sense of greater financial security.

In Florida, which saw home-price gains after huge drops, we are experiencing an increase in divorce rates to above 2008 levels:

“In many cases after divorce, people sell their homes and divide up the proceeds,” he said, which provides “each of them with a nest egg to begin their separate lives.”

Although a bigger stock account and home equity to divide may motivate a divorce, splitting into two homes takes a financial toll on a couple. However, many couples report that ending an unhappy marriage was:

worth every moment of hardship. I had to take full ownership of my life, my choices, my future, and my happiness.

You can read the Bloomberg report here.

Read Every Post on your Ex’s Facebook Account!

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, February 10, 2014.

Filing for divorce can mean a lot of your personal information becomes relevant at trial. That includes your Facebook posts. Florida courts will often let your Ex, or soon-to-be Ex, discover things from your accounts. What are the limits? Last week the Second District Court of Appeals tried to answer that question.

In a personal injury action, parents of a 3-year old sued the City of Cape Coral for damages after their son was hit by a truck in front of a construction site.

The defendants asked the mother to produce copies of postings her Facebook account, and the mother didn’t want to comply because the request information was very personal and not relevant to the lawsuit.

The defendant wanted copies of postings on her Facebook account which include the following:

– Psychological care obtained by the mom;

– All postings, statuses, photos, “likes” or videos related to the mom’s relationships with her children before and after the accident;

– Her relationships with other family members, boyfriends, husbands, and/or significant others;

– Her mental health, stress complaints, alcohol use or other substance use;

– Postings about any lawsuit filed after the accident.

The court noted that none of the requests pertained to the accident itself. Instead, the discovery relates to her past and present personal relationships mental health, use of alcohol and lawsuits.

Also, the court saw it as a fishing expedition, even the defendant’s attorney admitted as much:

“These are all things that we would like to look under the hood, so to speak, and figure out whether that’s even a theory worth exploring.”

Based on the then current posture of the case, the court concluded that the Facebook discovery requests had to be quashed. However, should the status of the case change, the requested information may be discoverable.

The lesson for lawyers is to tailor Facebook requests to require production of materials related as closely as can be to the claims and defenses in the case. For litigants, watch what you post on social media sites, they may be discoverable.

The Second District Court of Appeals opinion can be read here.

When is the best time to divorce?

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Wednesday, January 22, 2014.

Did you know that beginning of the year was the most popular time for getting married in Florida? It is also the most popular time to get divorce. In fact, January is nicknamed the “Divorce Month”. Researchers at FindLaw.com recently did an analysis of all American divorce filings and found that there is a spike in divorces in January, followed by a peak in late March. What’s happening at the beginning of the new year that causes people to both marry and divorce?

The Findlaw.com research analysis also showed internet search terms for “divorce” and phrases like “family law” and “child custody” jumped by 50% from December to January, and continued to swell through March. As the research shows:

For some people, it’s all about money. The end of the year is typically when bonuses are paid. Bonuses can be classified as marital property or factored into support payments. By filing before the bonus is received, you may avoid the marital characterization, and it may also help with tax filings.

Other people view the start of a new year as an “existential moment” in that people look at their lives, realize they go by too quickly and that their current version is not happy.

A study noted that of those who cheat on their spouses, 56% of men and 42% of women do so during the holiday season. These affairs may trigger post-New Year’s divorce filings.

Still for other couples the start of the new year marks the end of the ‘Season of Togetherness’, now it’s back to real life.

Some of the interesting statistics compiled by the state of Florida include:

  • The number of marriages decreased between 2011 and 2012
  • The marriage rate increased between 2010 and 2012.
  • March was the most popular month for marriage.
  • The most popular date of marriage in 2012 was 12/12/12
  • In 2012 the marriage rate in Florida was 1.7 times the dissolution rate.
  • The mean duration of marriage resulting in a 2012 dissolution was 10 years.

If you’re considering filing for divorce, here are 5 questions to think about:

1. Can your marriage be saved?

2. Do you have a plan?

3. Do you have a support network?

4. Are you safe?

5. Do you have a board certified expert divorce attorney?

A Positive Side to Divorce

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On behalf of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Thursday, January 2, 2014.

Everyone has heard of the problems with divorce: the impact on children, the serious effect on men and women’s health, and other issues. And, the number of divorced and separated women in the US is on the rise. A recent study has found that a record 15% of American women are divorced or separated. Is there any good news? The answer is . . . yeah.

According to a recent study, experiencing adversity through things like divorce and death may actually enhance your appreciation for other life pleasures. psychology professors published their findings in the Journal of Social, Psychological & Personality Science.

They asked about 15,000 adults to complete a vignette-based measure of savoring and gave the participants a checklist of adverse events (things like, divorce, death of a loved one and other adverse events) and asked them to indicate whether they had experienced any of these events and, if so, to specify whether they felt they had emotionally dealt with the negative event or were still struggling with it.

Although people who were currently struggling with adversity reported a diminished proclivity for savoring positive events, individuals who had dealt with more adversity in the past reported an elevated capacity for savoring.

Their conclusion is not so surprising. If you have dealt with more adversity in your past, as many in the study had, you would have reported an elevated capacity for savoring positive events. Conversely, if you were still going through a divorce for example, you would have reported, like many participants, a diminished proclivity for savoring positive events.

The abstract of the study can be read here.