Category: Divorce

Paying for Divorce

A joke floating around the internet asks:  “Do you know why a divorce cost so much? Because it’s worth it.” The joke, although in bad taste, poses another interesting question: how do you protect yourself from today’s high divorce costs?

An Un-level Playing Field

As Forbes magazine recently reported, divorce is never easy. It represents the end of a way of life you have known for years.

Not only could a divorce wear you out emotionally, it could wear you out financially.

Even the wealthiest may not have sufficient access to capital during a divorce. Assets could be frozen during the divorce. Some turn to friends or family for capital but, for some, this is not an option and certainly it is not an easy ask.

It’s not uncommon for the spouse with the financial power during the marriage to declare war against their former partner by cutting off credit cards and hiding assets.

Those who can’t bear the divorce costs, often “surrender,” reluctantly agreeing to a sub-par settlement, all because he or she can’t afford the steadily mounting divorce costs, or can’t take the stress of protracted litigation, with someone who can afford to litigate a case to death.

Florida Law on Attorneys’ Fees

One way to level the playing field of high divorce costs is to ask one side to pay for attorneys’ fees. In Florida attorney’s fees may be awarded in a divorce, including enforcement and modification proceedings, separate maintenance, custody and support proceedings and appellate proceedings.

The court may from time to time, after considering the financial resources of both parties, order a party to pay a reasonable amount for attorney’s fees, suit money, and the cost to the other party of maintaining or defending any proceeding.

I’ve written about reducing attorneys’ fees through various means before. The purpose of awarding attorneys’ fees is to make certain that both parties in a divorce proceeding “will have similar ability to secure competent legal counsel.”

There are also fees for frivolous cases. A reasonable attorney’s fee can also be awarded to the prevailing party if the court finds that someone brought a claim that was not supported by the material facts the then existing law to those material facts.

Paying for Divorce

People are often surprised to find out that divorce costs so much, they can be shockingly expensive. Attorneys can cost many hundreds of dollars per hour and require substantial retainers up front, and then you have to add on fees for accountants, psychologists, guardians, and other professionals.

Clients often do not have the money to simultaneously engage in divorce proceedings and be able to afford living expenses such as mortgage payments, school tuition and other personal costs during the proceedings.

Divorce funding can “level the playing field,” enabling people to fund their attorney and expert fees while maintaining their standard of living. A business niche has emerged to provide financing for those without the immediate means to fund the legal battle.

This levels the playing field significantly against the well-known tactic of wealthy husbands or wives dragging on divorce proceedings and costs ad infinitum until their spouse runs out of money and are forced to concede.

With independent financing, these individuals can pursue settlements they might not otherwise have been able to attain.

The Forbes article is here.

 

Texting and Divorce

A wife in Taiwan was recently granted a divorce from her husband, who she accused of ignoring her — and her unanswered text messages were a key piece of evidence. Ghosting, as it is called, is a way of ending a relationship by ignoring communications.

Ghosting

In the Taiwan case, the wife sent her husband messages via the Line app for six months. The messages were marked as read — meaning he presumably opened and read them — and yet the wife rarely, if ever, got a reply.

At one point, the wife sent her husband messages saying she was in the emergency room and demanding to know why he wasn’t answering her messages.

The judge in the Taiwan family court saw the unanswered messages (and the terse, unemotional replies the wife did occasionally get) and concluded the wife had enough grounds for a divorce:

“The defendant did not inquire about the plaintiff, and the information sent by the plaintiff was read but not replied to. The couple’s marriage is beyond repair.”

Divorce

Florida abolished fault as grounds for filing a divorce. I’ve written about no-fault divorces in Florida before. The only ground you need to file for divorce in Florida is to prove your marriage is “irretrievably broken.” But is no fault divorce the reason the United States has a high divorce rate? Many people think so, and want to return to the old “fault” system to promote families.

The divorce process is really no mystery. If you or your spouse has decided to file for divorce in Florida, at least one of you must be a resident of the state or a member of an armed force stationed in the state. Proving fault, of course, is not required.

Divorce is called a “dissolution of marriage” in Florida, and begin when you or your spouse files a “Petition for Dissolution of Marriage” with the circuit court. Any assets and debts amassed during the marriage, referred to as “marital assets,” will be divided “equitably”. Assets you had before marriage may be considered “non-marital assets”. Judges will divide marital assets equally, unless there is a basis for unequal distribution, and your non-marital property is set aside.

Alimony is an extension of the obligation for spouses to support each other financially during the marriage. In Florida, a court can order alimony, and will look at statutory factors such as the standard of living during the marriage; the length of the marriage; and the age and physical condition of each spouse.

If children are involved, the court will also make a decision based on what is in the “best interests” of the child. Unless there is a reason that it would be detrimental to your child’s upbringing, the court will grant shared responsibility.

Additionally, the court will calculate your child support based on our statutory guidelines that attorneys use to properly calculate the child support needed for a child and how much each parent has to pay.

Answer Your Texts

The dissolution of marriage procedure, once it is completed will change your taxes. Property transfers, the taxability of alimony payments, allocating the federal; dependency deduction for children may all have tax impacts. Working with an accountant and lawyer will help you avoid costly mistakes.

Answering your spouse’s texts might also help.

The NextWeb article is here.

 

Divorce & Common Law Marriages

Comedian Ron White’s wife is filing for divorce, and the duration of their marriage could be a major point of contention. Margo Rey filed divorce pleadings last week in Los Angeles, mentioning they had a common law marriage in Texas.

If the couple have had a common law marriage in Texas since 2008, long before they officially got married, they may be considered married in the eyes of the law, if they live together as husband and wife, and hold themselves out in public as a married couple.

The answer to their dispute about the length of the marriage may be important as it relates to property division and alimony.

Margo says she wants Ron to pay spousal support. The issue of the common law marriage may have been raised so she can argue that her marriage could be a few years longer, and thereby entitling her to more alimony.

Florida Common Law Marriages

Florida deems common law marriages void. What about a common law marriage from another state? I have written about a unique case in South Carolina before, and the White divorce raises it again.

In South Carolina, Debra Parks wanted her relationship to be considered a common-law marriage under South Carolina law. Parks is gay. But until 2014, same-sex marriage was illegal.

In a groundbreaking case for South Carolina, a Family Court judge has ruled that Parks and her former partner had a common-law marriage under state law. And the state must recognize that their common-law marriage has been legal for almost 30 years, the judge ruled.

The South Carolina ruling immediately becomes a legal precedent, and has the potential to impact thousands of people in same sex relationships because it backdates the period of effect to the beginning of the common-law marriage.

South Carolina is one of eight states that recognize common law marriage. The case is important because same sex marriages were not recognized until 2014 and left an entire group of people “out in the cold” without the protections the law provides to heterosexual couples.

Florida law is different. No common-law marriage entered into after January 1, 1968, is valid in Florida. The South Carolina case could create a conflict between Florida Statutes – which makes common law marriages in Florida void as of 1968, the Parks case, which recognizes the creation of same-sex, common law marriages in South Carolina.

Interstate Problems

The generally established principle is that the validity of a marriage is determined by the law of the place where the marriage occurred. So, while Florida no longer recognizes common law marriages, nevertheless, it may be forced to recognize the validity of common law marriages in other states.

The TMZ article on the White divorce is here.

 

Family Courtroom Behavior

It’s been said that criminal court judges see the worst people acting their best, and family court judges see the best people acting their worst. That old adage comes to mind reading about the antics in the divorce of Formula One billionaire heiress Petra Ecclestone from her husband James Stunt.

A Wild Divorce Hearing

Ecclestone and Stunt have each hired some of England’s most high-profile divorce lawyers to represent them in court hearings, which are expected to start next month.

Their £158 million mansion in Los Angeles and a Grade II-listed house in the fashionable London district of Chelsea – worth up to £100 million – are expected to just some of the assets fought over.

As the Daily Mail reports, extraordinary details of their bitter marriage were laid bare during a highly-charged court hearing yesterday. The businessman, who runs an international gold bullion firm, was yesterday accused of behaving in a ‘disgraceful’ and ‘unedifying’ way prior to the hearing.

The bad-tempered hearing boiled over when Mr. Stunt, 35, slammed his hand onto a table and appeared to make a ‘gun gesture’ with his hand.

He then pointed at Mr. Ecclestone before calling him a ‘c***’ under his breath. Stunt then tapped him on the shoulder and stormed out of the court room.

Mr. Ecclestone stood up as if to confront him and started to follow him before the judge intervened. Recorder Richard Anelay QC: ‘Please Mr. Ecclestone, don’t respond. I know it’s tempting. For the record I saw [Mr. Stunt] clearly tap Mr. Ecclestone on the shoulder.

‘I think my intervention prevented rather actually prevented Mr. Ecclestone from wanting to retaliate. ‘Don’t carry it on outside please, it will not help you in the long run.’

Courtroom Behavior

I’ve written about courtroom behavior before. As a couple of good rules of thumb to follow:

  • Don’t – come to a custody hearing wearing your Nazi uniform – complete with swastika patch on the arm and leather boots – and demand a family court judge let you see your son.
  • Do – Dress in a neat and professional manner.
  • Don’t – Speak on your cellular telephone because judges hate ringing cell phones. Judges hate ringing phone so much, that U.S. District Judge Hugh B. Clarke Jr. fined himself $50 when his own cell phone started ringing during a hearing.
  • Do – Keep your cell phone ringer off, and if you absolutely need to have your phone on, put it on vibrate.
  • Don’t – Take off your pants and show the judge your rear end. Try not to make faces or gestures, don’t show your anger or disdain for the other side or the court.
  • Do – Keep a “poker” face when others are talking, and be clear and confident and in a loud clear voice when you are talking.

Yes, sadly these are cases of what people have actually done in court, and all of these instances are documented. Consider the solemnity of the courtroom, the stress family cases have on everyone, and show some respect to the judges and others in the courtroom who deal with these cases on a daily basis.

Back to the London Hearing

With those rules of thumb, consider some of the antics at the Ecclestone v. Stunt hearing. During the hour-long hearing, Mr. Stunt repeatedly laughed, scoffed, panted, sighed and raised his hands in the air as lawyers gave their submissions.

At one point the judge asked him to stop gesticulating because it was ‘very distracting’.

The husband, who was sporting a wedding band, smirked as he raised his middle finger towards photographers outside the court building.

The Daily Mail article is here.

 

Child Name Changes

For various reasons, some parents want to change their child’s name after a divorce or paternity case. The “best interests of the child” standard is what Florida courts rely on for determining child related issues. How can a child’s name run afoul of the best interests of the child test?

From Elias Alley to Faisel Ali Maqableh

In Kentucky, Ali Al-Maqablh wanted to change the name of his biological child. The Family Court changed the name of his biological child from “Elias Miles Alley” to “Elias Miles Ali Alley”, but Al-Maqablh wanted to change the name to “Faisel Ali Maqableh”.

After the child was born, Alley named him “Elias Miles Alley.” Al-Maqalblh sought to change the child’s name to “Faisel Ali Maqableh” because of the cultural importance of the child’s middle and last names.

Alley argued that the name Maqableh could result in the child’s being socially ostracized due to the prejudice inherent in her small community; she also noted that many people would probably mispronounce it. Alley argued Al-Maqablh currently refers to the child as Faisel while around friends and relatives, and he could continue to do so.

The family court found that changing the child’s name could increase the bond between the child and Al-Maqablh, would not alter Alley’s relationship with the child, would not result in insecurity or lack of identity for the child and could increase a sense of identity for the child, but the proposed name would likely result in regular misspellings and mispronunciations.

It noted potential bullying or harassment in child’s rural community was a factor to consider with regard to the best interest of the child and changing the surname from that of Alley, the current custodial parent, could result in some embarrassment or inconvenience to Alley.

On appeal, Al-Maqablh argued that the family court’s order was culturally insensitive because it rejected giving the child his surname because the people in Trimble County might have difficulty pronouncing it or be racist.

The appeals court found that the trial judge properly applied the best interest test because it considered the child’s stability, fostering familial bonds and minimizing contention between the parents in determining the child’s name.

It made a specific factual finding against Al-Maqablh’s claim that Alley consented to raise the child in accordance with his cultural traditions and, thus, name him in accordance with those traditions.

Florida Name Changes

I’ve written about various tips on Florida divorce law and paternity law. Florida is actually pretty strict about changing a child’s name. Simply because the parents are divorcing, or paternity is at issue, is generally not a sufficient reason on which to grant a change in a child’s surname.

Instead, a child’s surname may be modified only where the change is required for the welfare of the minor. Additionally, the parent petitioning to change a child’s name has the burden to prove that changing the child’s surname is in the child’s best interest.

The Worst Name Changes

It is bad enough that some people are given a last name that sounds weird. But some people willingly create names that make everyone scratch their heads. The following are the best examples of these names:

  • Tyler Gold legally changed his name to “Tyrannosaurus Rex”
  • Steve Bolton changed his name to “Buzz Lightyear”
  • Andrew Wilson changed his name to “They”

The Kentucky appellate case is here.

 

Suing Your Spouse

Steve Harvey’s ex-wife Mary Vaughn is suing him for $60 million, claiming that she suffered “prolonged torture with the infliction of severe mental pain and suffering.” Can you sue your spouse in a divorce for battery, transmission of STDs, or emotional distress?

The Harvey Divorce

The Harvey marriage lasted from 1996 until their public divorce in 2005, which was two years prior to Harvey’s third marriage to current wife, Marjorie Bridges. The 60-year-old “Family Feud” host was previously married to Marcia Harvey for 14 years before he wed Vaughn.

As reported by Fox News, court documents claimed that Vaughn “attempted suicide by self-medicating [in] an effort to stop the pain” and alleged that Harvey and his attorney reportedly caused “severe emotional distress” over the years.

ET added that Vaughn is also suing for alleged child endangerment, torture, kidnapping, breach of contract, conspiracy against rights, intentional infliction of emotional distress and even “soul murdering” (which we’ll get to later).

Interspousal Immunity

I’ve written about various issues relating to divorce before. Things like saving taxes, how not to treat your spouse, and what to wear to court. The subject of suing your spouse for emotional distress often comes up in divorces.

Florida used to have a long-standing policy about suing your spouse called the interspousal immunity doctrine. Under the interspousal immunity doctrine, one spouse could not sue the other spouse for tortious conduct committed during the marriage.

Interspousal tort immunity was thought to protect families from the adverse effects to a family relationship as a result of bitter lawsuits, and the drain on family resources.

However, the doctrine of interspousal immunity was abrogated in Florida. So, the ability of a person to sue another person for the intentional tort of battery, for instance, is not affected by marriage between the persons.

The justifications for having an interspousal tort immunity were found to be non-existent in this day and age. So, for example, in some divorce cases it is common for a person to be held liable for infecting another with a sexually transmissible disease.

What About Soul Murder?

Steve Harvey is being sued for, among other things, “soul murder.” This is defined as a “combination of torture, deprivation, and brainwashing.” While the interspousal immunity doctrine is not applicable in Florida, there is a reasonable chance the “soul murder” claim would be thrown out here too.

“Mr. Harvey vehemently denies any allegations set forth in the lawsuit,” read the statement sent to ET.

“The complaint is merit-less, frivolous and the allegations are completely false. We will vigorously defend/counterclaim against the complaint.”

The Fox News article is here.

 

What if a Spouse Dies During the Divorce?

Well this is a gloomy post: it’s about death and divorce. In November 1789, Benjamin Franklin wrote: “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.” If roughly half of marriages end in divorce, there are some odds that a spouse will die during the divorce case. What happens legally and emotionally when a spouse dies during the divorce?

Emotional Roller Coaster

As the Washington Post reports, a couple of years after a wife and husband separated — but before he reached a divorce settlement — he died of a heart attack at age 57.

Overnight, the wife went from almost-ex-wife to widow. But, nearly six years later, I still feel as if I was widowed on a technicality. A real widow doesn’t have a divorce lawyer and a Match profile. A real widow is pining for her spouse, inconsolable.

Sometimes she calls herself a “partial widow.” To make her point, she mentioned a friend whose fiancé died three weeks before their wedding. “She doesn’t get to call herself a widow and I do?” “That’s ridiculous.”

Misplaced Emotions

“It’s called disenfranchised grief,” and it is also referred to as the grief that has no voice, because it’s a grief that our society typically does not recognize.”

It occurs in situations that fall outside the norm and might also include, for example, mourning the death of a former spouse or an extramarital lover. A widow who was about to be divorced has no defined place in society, so we often don’t know what we’re supposed to do.

Even responding to condolences can be awkward because there’s an element of not wanting to accept sympathy for something that is a misconception on their part. Others feel for the surviving spouse in a way that doesn’t feel accurate to the experience. It’s a different kind of pain than they’re assuming.

Legal Implications

I’ve written about divorce problems before. When a spouse dies during a divorce, the death of the spouse can have major legal implications that extend far beyond the mixed feelings you may have about losing your soon-to-be ex spouse.

Divorces are unlike other civil cases. It is true that in ordinary civil cases, the death of a party does not deprive a court of the power to enter a judgment after the death of a party. This means a court can still rule. This happens frequently in breach of contract actions, and especially in personal injury cases.

However, the general principle does not apply to divorce actions since the death itself has already terminated the marriage.

In Florida, the general rule for divorce is that there can be no judgment of divorce rendered after the death of either of the parties, since that event of itself terminates the status of marriage.

This immediate stopping of the divorce when a spouse dies during the divorce process can cause a lot of problems. This is especially true in divorce cases in which the parties are elderly, or sick, and death is a very real possibility. In those cases, the parties should seriously consider ways to avoid the court losing jurisdiction because of death.

The Washington Post article is here.

 

Chris Rock’s Divorce Tips

Chris Rock has headed out on his newest “Total Blackout Tour” in February, marking his first full-scale world tour in nine years. He also recently divorced his ex-wife, Malaak Compton-Rock in 2016. What Chris has said about his divorce experience may surprise you.

Chris gave an interview to Rolling Stone magazine recently, and though he jokingly calls his latest tour his “alimony tour,” he gets serious when talking about life after divorce.

“Getting divorced, you have to f–king start over,” he said. “You get to reset. It’s not a breakdown, but something in your life broke down.”

Communication between Ex-Spouses

However, instead of blaming his ex-wife – like he used to in some of his older comedy shows – he claims now that he has changed his mentality.

There are several reasons Rock has toned down the negativity when it comes to discussing his divorce and ex-wife.

For one, he said, “I asked myself, ‘Do I want to be angry for a year?’ It’s not a cool place to be. It’s not healthy.”

Secondly, he claims it’s not fair that he can go out and bash his ex, but that his ex doesn’t have a platform to defend herself. “It’s not fair”. “I have a mic, she doesn’t. God forbid people are bugging her in the supermarket. That’s not cool. I’m going to have to see her at weddings and graduations.”

Custody Battles

Rock, like other fathers going through divorce, had a rough time dealing with custody issues. Not just the battles with his ex-wife, but with himself and the children too.

For example, he spoke candidly about his emotions, that he cried once, “during the custody battle” over  his two daughters, Zahra and Lola Rock.

In order to be a more involved father, he moved closer to his children.

“All my friends assume I moved into the city after my divorce, away from my girls. When I say I bought a house around the corner, it blows their minds.”

Rock also spoke about the angry feelings his children express. In fact, at one point in the Rolling Stone interview, rock got candid and admitted: “My own daughter has blocked me on Instagram. They grow up so quick.”

I’ve written about Chris Rock’s divorce before, because his comments on his divorce have been both funny and surprising. For example, while his divorce was a custody battle (he claimed that his ex-wife had “repeatedly refused to permit him normal and usual access to the children) he also said:

“When you see me on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ . . . I’m not on crack, that’s just alimony!”

The Rolling Stone article is here.

 

Is Your Marriage Valid?

Thinking about divorce? Concerned about alimony? Want to divide property? Many people who file for divorce may sadly discover they were not married legally, and can’t divorce! For one couple, the lack of a valid marriage led to a federal fraud case.

Florida Marriages

First off, common-law marriages have been abolished in Florida since 1968. In order to be validly married, you need a license. It may seem like a mere formality, but couples who want to be married must apply for a license.

There is a fee for getting a marriage license, and that fee is reduced for attending pre-marital counseling. The license is valid for 60 days. The officiant at the ceremony must certify that the marriage was solemnized.

The certified marriage license must be returned to the clerk or an issuing judge within 10 days, and the clerk or judge is required to keep a correct record of certified marriage licenses.

I have written about Florida marriages and divorces before. Florida courts have repeatedly warned people that they cannot depart from the requirement of the Florida Statutes to have a license, otherwise the courts would be re-creating common-law marriages.

Don’t Forget your License

In the fall of 2004, Jonathan Arnold and Leticia Villarreal exchanged marriage vows in California in a ceremony solemnized by both a priest and a rabbi. But they forgot to file their marriage license as required by law.

Shortly before their license expired, the county sent them a reminder letter that the license had not yet been filed, and that they needed to file it to complete the legal process. The couple forgot, and the license expired unfiled.

Their relationship deteriorated, they separately filed for divorce — she in California, he in Illinois. However, both divorce cases had to be terminated when they found out that they were never married.

By not filing their marriage license, they could not divorce, could not make claims for equitable distribution or community property, and could not ask a court for alimony. That can be a devastating result for many couples.

Making a Federal Case out of it

Arnold sued Villarreal in federal court in Illinois alleging various fraud claims and seeking compensatory damages totaling about $1 million. He also sought an additional $1 million in punitive damages. He claimed that she tricked him into believing the two were legally married to induce him to give her gifts, including the California condo.

The trial judge threw out the case as “frivolous” and he appealed to the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals. The appellate court found that Arnold has utterly failed to confront what two district judges recognized: that his fraud claims are not merely meritless but are frivolous.

The panel of judges concluded that he only filed his appeal simply to harass Villarreal.

As Judge Grady drily noted, the courts “are not a proper venue for petty score-settling.”

The opinion is available here.

 

Divorce Extortion

Producer and director, Stephen Belafonte, and Spice Girl Melanie Brown have a daughter together. Belafonte just gave the LAPD an audiotape of someone trying to extort him for a million dollars while he goes through his divorce.Recorded on March 20, the phone call features a woman who tells Belafonte, ‘I’m gonna take you down’ unless she’s paid $500,000 within 48 hours, a fee that’s later upped to $1m.

The woman in the recording says:

‘I want a million bucks in my account in two days otherwise you’re f***ed, it’s your choice.

 

‘I swear to God I’m gonna talk so much sh*t about you, you have no idea, it’s your choice. And it’s gonna be really really bad.’

During the call, it is also alleged ‘people’ representing Belafonte’s estranged wife Mel B asked Contreras to take the ‘ugly’ story to the media.

Extortion

In divorce, it is easy to cross the line from harmless threats to the crime of extortion. The fact remains that in Florida, it is a second-degree felony to threaten to expose another for the commission of any crime or offense for one’s own pecuniary advantage.

File this under how not to act in divorce, a subject that I’ve written about many times before: from not wearing Nazi uniforms into court, to not getting in fights with the judge.

There can be little doubt that if Belafonte’s allegations are true, and that a spouse was recorded threatening to disclose confidential information in exchange for money, Florida’s extortion statute could cover the kind of situation facing him.

Divorce & Extortion

Very often in divorce, it is very easy for a spouse to cross the line between idle threats and criminal extortion. How? There are several examples. One which comes to mind, is taxes. It is typical for spouses to threaten to report the other spouse to the IRS for underpayment of taxes unless money is paid to keep the silence.

Another very common extortion technique – which is especially true these days – is to issue a threat to report a spouse to immigration officials. One spouse will to use the threat of deportation unless money is paid in a settlement. This has become more common these days as the country cracks down on illegal immigration.

Extortion also happens when signing settlement agreements. For example, spouses sometimes threaten that if the other spouse does not sign the settlement agreement, the other spouse will tell the children about infidelity, or something else to ruin what reputation the spouse has.

Belafonte’s Case

Contreras – who has a 12-year-old daughter Giselle with Belafonte – has denied the recording is authentic.

‘This audio is clearly not me. Stephen is falsifying stories because I have told the press the truth,’ Contreras told TMZ.

An LAPD investigative report obtained by DailyMail.com echoes TMZ, stating Contreras called Belafonte at 10pm on March 20, which is also the day Mel B filed for divorce.

In the police report filed on Thursday, the officer completing the document wrote: ‘Susp called victim and demanded $1million deposited into her account or she would disclose personal information to media.’

The alleged audio tape is the latest revelation in Mel B and Stephen Belafonte’s messy divorce proceedings, which has played out in the tabloid media since the former Spice Girl filed for divorce on March 20, citing ‘irreconcilable differences.

The Metro article is available here.