Category: Divorce

How Not to Act During a Divorce

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Wednesday, July 13, 2016.

It takes two to make a good marriage, but one to make a bad divorce. Johnny Depp altered his tattoos of his wife to insult her because he’s angry. Does it matter?

Amber Heard went public with allegations that her husband Johnny Depp had abused her during their marriage. The story created some discussion about domestic abuse, victim-shaming and the cult of celebrity.

But how should Depp respond when faced with, what he claims, are groundless, domestic violence allegations: take the high road or insult his Wife in front of the children and in a very public way?

The actor chose the latter of course! Depp just showed off a new altered knuckle tattoo that reads: “SCUM” in place of previous one that read “SLIM”, his wife Amber’s nickname. He has also had his previous bicep tattoo of her, which looked like a pinup girl, blackened out.

The actor has not commented about the ink-job, but what does it matter? After all, tattoos on your knuckles and arms are meant to be seen, and are a constant billboard of what you were thinking, and if you’re an actor it makes world news.

Many people have also commented that this isn’t the first time. Winona Ryder, Depp’s previous love interest, also had a tattoo of honor dedicated to her on his body. But Depp had:

“Winona Forever changed to “Wino Forever”

Funny and classy!

But does altering your tattoos to insult your spouse matter in a divorce?

I’ve written about how to properly behave during the divorce process, and even how good relations with your Ex could save your life. Whether you’re in court or outside of court, how you treat yourself and spouse matters.

Something you should NOT do, for instance, is to attend a court hearing in your full Nazi uniform showing off your Swastika neck tattoo. Some people may find that offensive.

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Something you should do is try to start better relations with your spouse. That could save your life. The divorce process forces you to view your spouse as an enemy. It is easy to let those feelings take over, and cause you to say things in front of your children that they should be protected from.

Steps you don’t want to take but should are things like: not yelling in front of your children, taking the high road when dealing with problems, and respecting your soon to be ex-spouse.

The E-news Online article is here.

Married on a Dare: Divorce & Annulment

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Wednesday, June 22, 2016.

What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay there. If you bought the “Elvis Concert” wedding package on a dare, and your flight home is spent regretfully twisting your new ring, do you divorce or what?

Let’s face it, some people can never turn down a dare; especially a double-dog dare. Add to the pressure of a dare, the romantic ambiance of the Las Vegas Strip, and many people fly home newly married.

If you happen to live in Delaware, you’re in luck. Apparently, Delaware recognizes this inherent weakness in guys who just have to accept any dare, no matter how crazy.

Delaware’s legislature assisted those who do not seriously consider consequences of getting married for no particular reason but bravado. Delaware courts will allow you to annul your marriage.

Pursuant to §1506(a)(6) of the Delaware Divorce and Annulment Act:

The Court shall enter a decree of annulment of a marriage entered into under any of the following circumstances . . . one or both parties entered into the marriage as a jest or dare.

If you’re lucky enough to be flying from Las Vegas back home to Delaware, you can easily annul your marriage on grounds that you were dared into marrying.

Better still, even if you were just ‘joking’ about the whole marriage thing, ala ‘The Hangover’ you may be eligible for an annulment of your marriage back home in Dover.

What about in Florida? I’ve written about divorce and annulment in Florida before. Unlike Delaware, Florida does not have a statute authorizing annulments.

Because Florida is one of the handful of states that has no annulment statute, annulments in Florida are purely a question of common law, decided pursuant to the inherent equitable powers of the circuit court.

The historical common law “impediments” to marriage traditionally fell into two general categories: lack of consent and lack of capacity. This is substantially still the case law in Florida.

Lack of consent would include, for example, people who are related within certain degrees, and minors without parental consent. Lack of capacity situations are cases involving fraud, mental illness, sham marriages, and shotgun weddings.

You can read more of attorney Ephrat Livni’s funny post here.

No Fault Divorce in Pakistan

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, May 30, 2016.

In 1971, Florida passed its “no-fault” divorce law. Recently, a Pakistani court restored a law allowing Christian men to divorce without adultery charges.

The rationale behind no-fault laws was that requiring someone to prove legal grounds to dissolve the marriage was not serving any useful purpose.

I’ve written about no-fault divorces before. Historically in Florida, in order to obtain a divorce one had to prove the existence of legal grounds such as adultery.

This often required additional expenses on behalf of the aggrieved party, only serving to make the divorce process more expensive and cumbersome than it already was.

In the years leading up to the enactment of “no-fault” divorce, courts often granted divorces on bases that were easier to prove, the most common being “mental cruelty.”

Over time, the “no-fault” movement expanded to other states, although interestingly it only reached the typically progressive state of New York in 2010.

In Pakistan, the Lahore High Court restored a law enabling Christian men to adopt a ‘dignified way’ to divorce their wives.

Pakistani, Amin Masih, who wanted to divorce his wife but not on adultery charges, had requested the court to restore the provision undone by the military ruler 35 years ago.

Mr. Masih said he did not want to level the “false allegation” of adultery against his wife. He said the condition of accusing wife of adultery for divorce should be abolished for being unconstitutional and inhuman.

“There are just and reasonable grounds, other than adultery, to divorce a Christian woman,” he said.

Punjab government’s Assistant Advocate-General Anwar Hussain said the provincial government wanted to amend this controversial law, but it was not possible because of lack of consensus among the Christian community leadership.

The court was also told that in the past many Christian men and women changed their religion to divorce each other honorably. The existing law was detrimental to the dignity of Christian women.

The Hindu article is here.

Ending Mideast Conflicts: ‘Mediation Before Divorce’ Rule

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Thursday, May 19, 2016.

The Middle East is an unlikely place for amicable settlements, but Israel just enacted new laws to help couples create divorce agreements by requiring them to mediate before filing in court.

Ynet, an Israeli paper, discusses the regulations. The rules – which include both mediation and educational components – are a part of Israel’s Resolution of Family Disputes Law, and were suggested by Justice Minister Ayelet Shaked.

I’ve written about mediation in the past. Mediation is a process where a neutral, third person – called a mediator – encourages and facilitates resolving your case. Consider it an informal meeting in which the goal is to reach a voluntary agreement.

Under Israel’s new regulations, any married individual approaching divorce – who wishes to file a couple’s dispute claim – will first have to submit a request asking to resolve the conflict.

The request will then be directed to the court’s social services unit, which will invite both parties to participate in 4 mediatory sessions without lawyers.

As part of the mediation, couples will receive information on the mediation process itself and on the legal proceedings that await them in case they do not reach an agreement.

In addition, couples taking part in the mediation will learn about the possible impacts that ongoing disputes can have on any children involved, and are guided to reach an agreement concerning child support, custody and property division.

The meetings will be free of charge, with the mediators being civil servants, most of them lawyers or social workers.

During the mediation period, both parties will not be allowed to file claims against one another, apart from requests for temporary relief aimed at keeping the status quo or requests for emergency relief.

If both parties do not reach an agreement, whichever party had initiated the proceedings will be allowed to submit a claim to the relevant court to discuss the matter further, while being allowed to continue the mediation process if they so choose.

Any additional meetings beyond this point will come at a cost, though it has been agreed upon that it will not be high. The new regulations will be instated for three years, during which their efficiency will be examined.

As the Minister of Justice said:

We need to remember that parental disputes cause damage especially for the children, and that it is our duty to protect them.

The Ynet article can be found here.

Speaking Tomorrow at Family Court Services

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Tuesday, May 17, 2016.

Tomorrow, May 18th, I will be speaking at the Lunch & Learn Series with my colleague Evan Marks, on the use of experts in paternity and divorce cases: “The Daubert Crucible.”

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The Lunch & Learn Series is a fantastic series of presentations hosted monthly by Family Court Services, and this one will take place on:

May 18, 2016, from 12:00 pm – 2:00 pm at the Family Division Courthouse located at 175 NW 1st Avenue 11th Floor Miami, Florida 33128.

The presentation is based, in part, on the article I published last Fall in the Florida Bar Commentator, The Daubert Crucible. In 2013, the Florida Legislature amended Sections 90.702 and 90.704 of the Florida Statutes to bind Florida courts to the Daubert standard for the admission of expert testimony and the basis for an expert’s opinion.

My co-presenter, Evan Marks, Esq. and myself, will answer the questions: What is the Frye Rule? What is Daubert? And why we all need to know.

This presentation addresses the new statutory changes to §90.702 and §90.704; how the new Daubert standard differs from the old Frye rule; the lingering Constitutional problem, recent Florida appellate cases applying the Daubert standard; how the judge’s role in admitting expert testimony has changed; and the new Rules’ impact on the admissibility of expert testimony in Family Division cases.

The event is sponsored by Family Court Services. Family Court Services was developed to assist family law judges and general magistrates with some of the Court’s most difficult family cases, reducing case delays while tending to the unique needs of divorcing parents and their children.

CLE and continuing education credit for judiciary, attorneys, mental health professionals, mediators and professional interpreters are also available.

You can register here.

Don’t forget to bring a lunch.

Divorce & Social Security

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Tuesday, May 3, 2016.

If you had to rank a few things people dislike, taxes, death, retirement and divorce would be high on the list. However, there are a few major things about divorce you should be aware of. Social Security benefits for instance.

As MarketWatch reports, there are a lot of factors which need to be taken into account when making divorce decisions; especially social security benefits.

Marcus Dillender, an economist at the W.E. Upjohn Institute for Employment Research and author of Social Security and Divorce Decisions, notes, people should be aware of the fact that Social Security provides spousal benefits to divorced people if their marriages lasted at least 10 years.

“For people planning on divorcing around the 10-year mark of a marriage, Dillender said, waiting a few months may result in higher Social Security payments if their spouses’ earnings records are higher than their own.”

I’ve written about retirement and divorce issues before. According to the Social Security Administration, even if you are divorced, you can receive benefits based on your ex-spouse’s record (even if your ex-spouse has remarried) if:

– Your marriage lasted 10 years or longer;

– You are not married;

– Your ex-spouse is age 62 or older;

– The benefit that you are entitled to receive as an ex-spouse, is greater than the benefit you would receive based on your own work record; and

– You are entitled to Social Security retirement or disability benefits.

Collecting ex-spousal benefits does not affect the ex’s benefit or that of their current spouse if remarried. Also, unlike spousal benefits, both ex-spouses can collect this benefit off the other’s record at the same time.

Are you Entitled to Your Ex-Spouse’s Benefits?

In certain situations, if you have been divorced at least two years, you are “independently entitled” to ex-spouse benefits. This means that even though your ex-spouse may not yet have applied for benefits, but can qualify for them, you are eligible and can receive ex-spouse benefits.

For people between the ages of 35 and 55 – a group which accounts for more than half of divorces – the likelihood of being divorced increases by almost 6% as marriages cross the 10-year mark.

Not all spouses are aware of how Social Security works with respect to marriage, divorce, death and remarriage. But they should be.

The article in MarketWatch can be read here.

Say Divorce Three Times . . .

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, April 11, 2016.

Ever heard of the Triple Talaq? It allows Muslim men in India to leave their wives instantaneously by saying “talaq,” meaning divorce, three times. Would it work here?

The Wall Street Journal has an article about India’s Supreme Court, which is considering petitions that challenge Muslim laws governing marriage on the grounds that they discriminate against women, a charged issue that risks angering the country’s orthodox Muslims.

Among the petitioners calling for change is a Muslim woman whose husband, after 13 years of marriage, divorced her by saying “divorce” three times.

The Indian constitution protects gender equality, but on issues of marriage, divorce and inheritance, different religious communities are governed by their own so-called personal laws. Whether a person is subject to those laws is usually determined by their religion at birth.

I’ve written about the interplay between religion and family law in Florida before. Florida passed Senate Bill SB 386, which was approved by the Governor in May. Specifically, the bill prohibits courts in Florida from:

– Basing a decision on a foreign law that does not grant the parties to litigation the same rights guaranteed by the Florida or U.S. Constitutions.

– Enforcing a ‘choice of law’ clause in a contract which requires a dispute to be resolved under a foreign law that does not grant the parties the same rights guaranteed by the Florida or U.S. Constitutions.

– Enforcing a ‘forum selection’ clause in a contract which requires a dispute to be resolved in a forum in which a party would be denied his or her fundamental rights guaranteed by the State Constitution or the United States Constitution.

There are now 32 states which have considered some limits on the application of foreign law, either through legislation or ballot initiative.

Muslim women’s rights groups argue that the practice of Triple Talaq misinterprets the Quran and is protected by orthodox Muslim men to perpetuate patriarchy.

“Muslim women have their hands tied while the guillotine of divorce dangles, perpetually ready to drop at the whims of their husbands who enjoy undisputed power,” the petition reads, alleging that women have been divorced over Skype, Facebook and through text messages.

The validity of personal laws rooted in religious beliefs – and the judiciary’s right to intervene – has long been a contentious issue in India . . . and Florida too.

The Wall Street Journal article is here.

Not Very Appealing

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Thursday, April 7, 2016.

If you’re trying to lose your divorce on purpose, to avoid foreign currency controls for example, but somehow win, you may be stuck in appellate court. Here’s some advice on how to lose the appeal.

I’ve written before about how and why you may want to lose your lawsuit on purpose. But that was at the trial level. What are some of the mistakes that will prevent your appeal from proceeding successfully?

California Lawyer magazine, the magazine of the California Bar, has an article about appeals. Here are two good mistakes from the article that will put you on the right (or wrong) path:

DON’T ADDRESS SIGNIFICANT ISSUES AT TRIAL

During the trial, it is natural to focus on the issues at hand, and not on what could happen if you need to appeal later on. For most issues, if it was not presented in the trial court, you cannot raise it for the first time on appeal.

In one case from California, a husband appealed an order in which he did not raise the fact that he contributed $47,000 of his non-marital money toward paying down a mortgage on the wife’s separate property. The appellate court denied the appeal because the issue was never preserved at trial.

DON’T ADMIT DOCUMENTS INTO EVIDENCE

Many who practice family law think the evidentiary rules are loosened up a bit in family court. This is a dangerous trap to fall into. Unfortunately, if you believe the judge will give you a little slack on admitting evidence, when you appear before a judge who strictly follows the Evidence Code, you are in for a painful surprise.

But even if the family law judge allows in evidence – without strictly following proper evidentiary rules – this could cause problems on appeal. That’s because any trial court decision based on improperly-admitted evidence could be subject to reversal.

Not many people go through the time and expense of trying to lose a lawsuit, let alone an appeal. But let’s face it, you may live in a country with strict capital controls. If so, losing a lawsuit may be the only way to get around restrictions on transferring currency out of the country.

Predicting Divorce with 93% Accuracy

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Monday, February 22, 2016.

There are two critical times in a marriage: the first 7 years, and when the first child turns 14. Scientists claim they can now predict divorce 93% of the time looking at these two periods.

I’ve written about studies identifying the causes of divorce before. The theme of the current paper is the predictability of divorce early and later in marriages. In it, the researchers identified four reactions are telltale signs of trouble.

Business Insider reported on the study, and the four behaviors: stonewalling, contempt, criticism, and defensiveness, measured during the span of a 15-minute conversation.

Relying on those signs, researchers could predict which marriages would end in divorce with striking precision. So what do these four behaviors?

1. Contempt

Contempt, a virulent mix of anger and disgust, is far more toxic than simple frustration or negativity. It involves seeing your partner as beneath you, rather than as an equal. This behavior alone is “the kiss of death” for a relationship.

2. Criticism

Like contempt, criticism involves turning a behavior (something your partner did) into a statement about his or her character (the type of person he or she is).

Say your partner has a habit of leaving his used cereal bowl around the house. If you turn that into “Why am I dating the type of person who abandons half-eaten cereal bowls around the house?” Over time, these personal detractions can add up, feeding darker feelings of resentment and contempt.

3. Defensiveness

If you find yourself regularly playing the victim in tough situations with your partner, you might be guilty of being defensive.

Take being late to a cousin’s wedding, for example. Are you the first to say, “It wasn’t my fault!” when you finally arrive? Or do you think it over before you accuse the other person, realizing you probably shouldn’t have taken a two-hour shower when you only had an hour to get ready?

4. Stonewalling

Blocking off conversation can be just as toxic for a relationship as contempt because it keeps you from addressing an underlying issue.

Don’t worry. Occasionally displaying any one of these behaviors – or all of them, even – is completely normal. The Business Insider article is here.

How to Lose your Divorce on Purpose

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By The Law Offices of Ronald H. Kauffman of Ronald H. Kauffman, P.A. posted in Divorce on Friday, February 19, 2016.

Purposefully losing your divorce sounds crazy. But one Chinese company just lost a lawsuit on purpose. What would it take to lose your divorce if you really wanted to?

It seems like an unlikely topic, losing a lawsuit. But, some companies are trying to avoid China’s new strict capital controls – which limit sending overseas $50,000 a year – except for business-related payments.

One Chinese company found out that if they deliberately lost a lawsuit for a phony breach of contract claim, a $3.5 million payout could be used to pay its own entities in the U.S. to get around currency controls.

I’ve written on courtroom tactics before. The Chinese situation got me to thinking about family law. What would you have to do to lose a divorce case on purpose?

Avoiding Chinese capital controls may not apply to most American divorces, but if you really want to lose your divorce case, here are some practical tips:

Hide Your Records

The first thing you want to do is hide all your important financial records: tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements. Afterwards, you can walk into court and plead ignorance. Basically, you’re forcing your spouse’s attorneys to subpoena the documents which will be re-created, after a lot of time and extra expense.

Drain bank accounts

Closing all the bank accounts will force your spouse to run to court on an emergency basis. That’s exactly what you want, having the judge associate your case with crisis. The best part: there’s a new administrative order that specifically prohibits that kind of thing.

Cancel health insurance

Canceling your spouse’s health insurance not only violates the new status quo administrative order, it is another way to get hauled back into court on an emergency basis, and increase your legal fees. If you’re looking to avoid any Chinese monetary controls, spending your cash on a lawyer is as good a way as any.

Represent yourself

The old saying: “the person who represents themselves has a fool for a client” is probably wrong. Lawyers are for the rich and famous. If you can handle your own dentistry, you can easily handle your own divorce.

Lie

Lying has two big advantages:

Lying to your attorney will surprise him in court, and lawyers love to be surprised in court. And, if you want to lose, there’s really no substitute for lying to the judge deciding your case.

If losing your divorce on purpose becomes a necessity, remember that lying, hiding assets, cutting off health insurance and representing yourself is a great way to do it.

The Wall Street Journal article is here.