Month: August 2025

This is Your MenoDivorce

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Do you really want a divorce, or do you have a case of MenoDivorce? These are questions many women reaching their midlife are asking. Hormones are changing, they are becoming empty nesters, and careers are often at their peak. The hot new term in family law has become: the Meno-Divorce.

Menodivorce

No tears and no hearts breakin’ . . .

As of last year, marriage rates were up and divorce numbers were down. But, there’s a specific type of divorce that’s now seems to be on the rise. This is something known as “menodivorce” and, it’s linked to women, in particular, being perimenopausal or going through menopause.

The divorce rate for middle aged and older men has been increasing significantly too. For men, the second half of life is a big change in terms of  your physical shape, changing work roles, and different sexual appetites and abilities. Then there’s the fact children are grown, there’s more free time, and more disposable income.

It is no different for women. According to the Mayo Clinic, perimenopause is the time before menopause when your body is getting ready to stop having periods. And, more women approaching menopause are leaving their husbands. Some women view leaving their spouses as an awakening instead of a midlife crisis.

According to a UK-based survey conducted by the Family Law Menopause Project and Newsom Health Research and Education, seven in 10 women blamed perimenopause or menopause for the breakdown of their marriage.

Another study by Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Family and Marriage Research found that, as of 2019, divorce rates in adults 50 and older accounted for one in four divorces, up from this age bracket making up one in ten divorces in the US in 1990.

Florida MenoDivorce

I’ve written about midlife divorces and gray divorces before. The legal nuances of gray divorce can be different than what other couples might encounter. In a gray divorce, the financial considerations take on more importance than the children’s issues – because the children are emancipated or nearly so.

When couples choose to divorce in their 30s or 40s, they still have time to recover financially, because adults at that age have several years, if not decades, left in their careers.

But when divorce occurs when a couple is in their 50s or later, the so-called “MenoDivorce” years, careers may either be coming to a close or are completed, and spouses are often living on fixed incomes provided through Social Security or retirement benefits.

Here are some things to consider:

  • By the time a couple enters the golden years, there may be gold to divide, including businesses, retirement funds, and vacation homes. Valuing these assets can be difficult. A financial advisor may be an important component in the divorce.
  • Health insurance is often tied to the employment of a spouse. Courts may need to intervene if one party has dwindling capacity to handle their own affairs.
  • Wills and trusts need to be reviewed to make sure they reflect post-divorce wishes. The same is true for long-term care, such as medical directives, living wills and trusts.
  • Retirement plans can be substantial and complex. Retirement plans vary, and they all have different restrictions, tax consequences, distribution and vesting rules.
  • There are special concerns involved in a gray divorce. As always, information is power, so make a point to seek out experts for guidance.

Many MenoDivorces involve marriages that have lasted for several decades, which makes it difficult to disentangle the spouses from each other. However, couples who divorce after many years together should receive a close-to-even split of assets, legally putting each spouse on an equal playing field for the future.

No Remorse

The average age a woman reaches menopause in America is 51, according to the Mayo Clinic. One OB-GYN and menopause specialist broke down why women are divorcing their husbands when they hit this stage of their lives.

Perimenopausal and menopausal women experience a whole range of symptoms, like a loss of libido, at the same time, life begins to get more stressful, which eventually takes its toll on them. Experts advise couples to seek additional help, like therapy, to improve communication and support, as well as treatment to help with menopausal symptoms.

The USA Today article is here.

Excessive Snoring Grounds for Divorce

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Could excessive snoring be grounds for a divorce? Recent news out of Israel has many people dreaming about a peaceful night’s sleep after a court ruled on whether, if left untreated, snoring could lead to financial liability and a divorce.

Sleep Divorce

Sleep Divorce

A study conducted amongst 2,000 married couples in the United Kingdom found that approximately 12% of the couples cited that snoring was one of the problems that contributed to the downfall of their relationship. About 18% revealed that they regularly argued about snoring, while 30% admitted that they had to resort to sleeping in separate rooms.

Obstructive Sleep Apnea is a pervasive sleep disorder that affects a significant portion of the population, with approximately 11% of women and 26% of men in America suffering from it..

A couple in Israel saw that their marriage deteriorated amid mutual accusations, leading to divorce with an agreement to settle the other issue later. During the divorce trial, the wife accused the husband of “excessive snoring.”

While the husband admitted the issue, he countered, “When I snored, she’d scream, get angry, hit the wall, curse and order me to go to the child’s room, even withholding intimacy.”

The wife sought full financial payment plus additional compensation, while the husband argued her demands caused the split.

Florida No Fault Divorce

The official term for divorce in Florida is “dissolution of marriage”, and you don’t need fault as a ground for divorce. Florida abolished fault as a ground for divorce. Interestingly, given the recent attack on no-fault divorce, it was former Governor Ronald Reagan of California who signed the nation’s first no-fault divorce bill.

The no fault divorce law eliminated the need for couples to fabricate spousal wrongdoing in pursuit of a divorce; indeed, one likely reason for Reagan’s decision to sign the bill was that his first wife, Jane Wyman, had unfairly accused him of “mental cruelty” to obtain a divorce in 1948.

I’ve written about no-fault divorce issues before. The no-fault concept in Florida means you no longer have to prove a reason for the divorce, like your husband’s snoring and untreated sleep apnea. Instead, you just need to state under oath that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

Before the no-fault divorce era, people who wanted to get divorce either had to reach agreement in advance with the other spouse that the marriage was over or throw mud at each other and prove wrongdoing like adultery or abuse.

No-fault laws were the result of trying to change the way divorces played out in court. No fault laws have reduced the number of feuding couples who felt the need to resort to distorted facts, lies, and the need to focus the trial on who did what to whom.

A Snoozer of a Decision

Back in the Holy Land, a court deliberated extensively on whether a husband’s snoring justifies divorce and alimony payments. After a lengthy review, a three-judge panel ruled that the husband could have addressed his snoring but failed to do so.

The court ordered him to pay 130,000 shekels (about $35,000) as compensation as demanded by his wife. After consulting historical rulings and modern medical insights, the judges wrote:

“We face a unique case where both husband and wife agree he snores during sleep, driving her to frustration and anger. His snoring led her to leave the bedroom, halt intimacy and fuel mutual resentment, insults and curses.”

They noted that snoring is treatable through medical consultation, devices, therapies or diet adjustments. Since the husband recognized his snoring deeply irritated his wife, he should have sought treatment for an admitted issue.

“Per the Jewish sages, if a person can change and doesn’t, he is deemed to have willfully driven his wife away, obligating him to pay. His snoring was solvable and his failure to act makes him liable for the full ketubah and supplement.”

The three judges diverged on the compensation amount. One judge advocated for the full 260,000 shekels ($70,000), while the two other judges argued the wife’s behavior also contributed to the rift, proposing 130,000 shekels. The majority upheld the lower sum in the final ruling.

The article is here.

International Custody, Hague Convention, and the Settled Defense

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

In a recent international custody case for return under the Hague Convention, a mother asserts a defense her son is settled in the U.S. and shouldn’t be returned. But his grades are bad, he misses school, and his connections to his stepfather’s family come at the expense of his longer relationship with family in Brazil. After the trial court orders him returned to Brazil, will the appellate court reverse?

Hague Now Settled

Boa Sorte

Both parents, and the child A.R., are all citizens and natives of Brazil. The parents were married in 2011, and lived in Belo Horizonte, Brazil (meaning “beautiful horizon” and pictured above). In 2016 they separated, and finally divorced in 2021. The parents shared custody of A.R., but A.R. lived with the mother. The mother then began a relationship with a man who immigrated to the United States.

The father signed a passport application that included a travel authorization permitting A.R. to travel outside of Brazil. The mother and A.R. then flew to Mexico, where they crossed the Mexico-United States border in 2022. She then applied for asylum.

Upon discovering the abduction, the father filed a petition to return A.R. to Brazil. The trial court in the U.S. found the father had met his prima facie burden to show A.R. was wrongfully removed from Brazil. Then, it rejected all the affirmative defenses the mother raised about consent, the now settled defense and the grave risk of harm. The Mother appealed.

Florida and the Hague Convention

I have spoken and written about the Hague Abduction Convention and international child custody issues before. The Hague Abduction Convention establishes legal rights and procedures for the prompt return of children who have been wrongfully removed or retained.

The International Child Abduction Remedies Act is the statute in the United States that implements the Hague Abduction Convention. Under the Act, a person may petition a court authorized to exercise jurisdiction in the country where a child is located for the return of the child to his or her habitual residence in another signatory country, so the underlying child custody dispute can be determined in the proper jurisdiction.

The Hague Convention applies only in jurisdictions that have signed the convention, and its reach is limited to children under 16 years of age. Essentially, The Hague Convention helps families more quickly revert back to the “status quo” child custody arrangement before the wrongful child abduction. The Hague Convention exists to protect children from international abductions by requiring the prompt return to their habitual residence.

But there are defenses too. If return proceedings have been commenced after the expiration of a period of one year, courts can order the return of a child to their habitual residence, unless it is demonstrated that the child is now settled in its new environment.

Não Me Deixe Só

In rejecting the settled defense at the trial level, and ordering the child returned to Brazil, the district court analyzed several factors: age, stability and duration of the residence; whether the child consistently attended school; friends and relatives; involvement in the community and in extracurricular activities; employment and financial stability; and immigration status.

But on appeal, the circuit court found A.R. had lived in the same community for nearly three years, a significant amount of time for a school-age child. Also, his mother has steady employment and income. Those facts, standing alone, weigh heavily in favor of finding A.R. to be “now settled.”

A.R., it was also found, benefitted from a supportive extended family. He had a step-aunt and step-uncle who lived nearby and saw him twice a month. Despite A.R.’s poor grades and disruptive behavior, he arrived from Brazil unable to read or write in Portuguese, let alone in English, and was “meeting expectations of the classroom.”

The circuit court also found that A.R. attended church twice a month, participated in a youth group, had several friends of Brazilian descent, and importantly, played on a Massachusetts soccer team twice a week.

The circuit court remanded for the district court to decide whether, in the exercise of equitable discretion, returning A.R. to Brazil is warranted despite the appellate court finding that his status was “now settled.”

The case is here.