Tag: Divorce

Divorce and the Seven Year Itch

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

A recent study is shedding some light on the notion of a ‘seven year itch’ leading to divorce. According to the Census Bureau, the average length of first marriages for divorcing couples is around seven years. The recent study answers the question why a seven year itch and not a 15 year one.

7 year itch

Seven Year Itch

We are constantly changing over time. Researchers have found that we in fact have six to ten years of stability in a relationship. Then, the stability phase is followed by two to three years of restlessness and transition before settling into the next stage.

Sometimes we focus on work and career, and other times it is about aging, long-term plans, working through childhood and our relationships with our parents. But sometimes it’s about our intimate relationships.

Under this theory, when you first fall in love, you need something in your life to get away from your parents to have stability, to feel important, and cared for. While often never directly talked about, the other person in the relationship provides this support.

Then around seven years, one or both partners starts to get restless. The life they’ve built with its rules and routines is no longer working or fits. Why? Because your partner did a great job filling those early needs, but now everyone’s needs have changed. The solid, steady, grounding partner now seems rigid and controlling, and the spontaneous, fun-loving partner is overly dramatic.

Florida Divorce

I’ve written about the causes of divorce before. The no-fault concept in Florida means you no longer have to prove a reason for the divorce, like you have reached the seven year mark and can tap out. Instead, you just need to state under oath that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

The official term for divorce in Florida is “dissolution of marriage”, and you don’t need fault as a ground for divorce. Florida abolished fault as a ground for divorce. So, whether your husband is overly controlling or your wife is a drama queen, you don’t need to allege those traits as grounds for divorce.

Before the no-fault divorce era, people who wanted to get divorced either had to reach agreement in advance with the other spouse that the marriage was over, or throw mud at each other and prove wrongdoing like adultery or abuse.

No-fault laws were the result of trying to change the way divorces played out in court. No fault laws have reduced the number of feuding couples who felt the need to resort to distorted facts, lies, and the need to focus the trial on who did what to whom.

Florida abolished fault as grounds for filing a divorce. The only ground you need to file for divorce in Florida is to prove your marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Additionally, the mental incapacity of one of the parties, where the party was adjudged incapacitated for the prior three year, is another avenue.

Practical Advice

Around seven-year mark, couples start arguing or pulling away from each other. Or sometimes, instead of arguing, they don’t. Couples avoid all emotions and embrace life’s distractions: focusing on kids, downshifting from being a couple to being simply a parent. Or they focus on jobs and careers, working 80 hours a week, or they get distracted with something else.

Some have advised that instead of divorce or distractions, pay attention to your restlessness and emotions. Decide what you each need to change. And if you need help sorting out what you need, or can’t have these conversations easily on your own, get support from a therapist, a minister, or someone you trust.

The Psychology Today article is here.

Dissipation and Soccer

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Hiba Abouk, the wife of Moroccan soccer star Achraf Hakimi, filed for divorce only to discover she may be the victim of a massive dissipation of marital assets. Many are wondering if Abouk will walk away empty-handed after her husband passed all of his assets to his mom.

Dissipation Divorce

Red Card?

Hiba Abouk was born in Madrid, and is the youngest of four children. She is also a successful actress, and has amassed a small fortune throughout her career in television. The 36-year-old Spanish model is approximately worth $3 million.

Achraf Hakimi is one of the highest paid Moroccan professional soccer players, and is currently playing for Paris Saint-Germain and the Morocco national team. He began playing for Real Madrid Castilla in 2016, then signed with Inter Milan, and after helping the club win the 2020–21 Serie A title – their first in 11 years – signed with Paris Saint-Germain. Hakimi’s wealth is estimated to be around $70 million, as per media reports

The pair started dating in 2018 and got married in 2020. Together, they have two boys. But then in March 2023, a 24-year-old woman filed a complaint against Hakimi accusing him of raping her in his house in Paris while his wife and two sons were away on holiday.

French prosecutors indicted Hakimi on rape charges after he was questioned by investigators. Hakimi’s mother has claimed that the charges against her son are false, and she is confident that her son is innocent.

Abouk filed for divorce after returning in March 2023, but to her shock, her husband had no properties or money in the bank in his own name. According to reports Hakimi had registered all of his assets in his mother’s name and may even have assigned to his mother most of his salary.

Florida Dissipation

I’ve written about dissipation of marital assets and unequal distribution of assets before. In a proceeding for dissolution of marriage, when distributing the marital assets between spouses, a family court must begin with the premise that the distribution should be equal, unless there is a justification for an unequal distribution based on all relevant factors.

Some of the factors to justify an unequal distribution of the property include things like the financial situation the parties, the length of the marriage, whether someone has interrupted their career or an educational opportunity, or how much one spouse contributed to the other’s career or education.

Another important factor is whether one of the parties intentionally dissipated, wasted, depleted, or destroyed any of the marital assets after the filing of the petition or within two years prior to the filing of the petition.

Dissipation of marital assets, such as spending marital funds on extramarital relationships (buying expensive gifts for a girlfriend) or putting the family home in mom’s name, or excessive gambling are examples which happens a lot. Less common are schemes like transferring all of your assets and assigning 80 percent of your income to a family member. Misconduct may serve as a basis for assigning the dissipated asset to the spending spouse when calculating equitable distribution.

Misconduct, for purposes of dissipation, does not mean mismanagement or simple squandering of marital assets in a manner of which the other spouse disapproves. There has to be evidence of intentional dissipation or destruction.

Dissipation Soccer

A Rat in Rabat?

According to media reports, Abouk filed her divorce claim and demanded half of the World Cup star’s fortune before she discovered the bitter truth: that Hakimi’s mother had it all. Media reported that court officials have told Abouk that her husband legally owned nothing and that all his millions, and even his PSG salary, were registered under his mother’s name.

Morocco World News reported last year that Hakimi was the sixth highest-paid African footballer, earning more than $215,000 a week. However, his wife was astonished when she was told by the court that more than 80 percent of his salary is credited to his mother’s bank account.

He appears to have no properties, cars, or jewelry registered in his name. After the financial disclosure, Hakimi is now entitled to seek half of his ex-wife Hiba Abouk’s net worth, which is rumored to be $3 million.

Hakimi’s lawyer, Fanny Colin, said that her client being indicted was an “obligatory step for any person being accused of rape,” and would allow the footballer to defend himself.

The Morocco World News article is here.

Celebrities and Prenuptial Agreements

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

The news from Nashville is that academy award winning actress, Reese Witherspoon, has initiated divorce proceedings against her husband Jim Toth. The divorce announcement is a reminder that prenuptial agreements are not only for protecting celebrities.

Prenuptial agreements

Not So Clueless

Reese Witherspoon is a very successful actress, and winner of an Academy Award, a British Academy Film Award, a Primetime Emmy Award, and two Golden Globe Awards. She ranks among the world’s highest-paid actresses. Witherspoon also owns Hello Sunshine, a media company she started during the marriage with Strand Equity Founder and Managing Partner Seth Rodsky.

Witherspoon has confirmed the couple’s 11-year marriage is ending in divorce. According to court documents, she has cited irreconcilable differences as the reason behind the divorce. The divorce was filed in a circuit court in Nashville, where the couple live with their 10-year-old son.

Reports indicate that court documents she filed reveal that the couple signed a prenuptial agreement in March 2011. In the court documents, Witherspoon alleges that the prenuptial agreement is valid, and that their prenup will provide “adequate and sufficient provisions” for the distribution of their assets and debts.

Florida Prenuptial Agreements

I’ve written about prenuptial agreements before. Prenuptial agreements are not just for celebrity, academy award winning actresses. They are also about more than just resolving what to do with a successful media company created during a marriage.

Any couple who brings any personal or business assets to their marriage can benefit from a prenuptial agreement. They are important to have in place before a couple starts investing in businesses, properties, and other investments.

But prenups are frequently challenged in court. Florida has both case law and a statute to help lawyers, judges and the parties determine if a prenuptial agreement is enforceable. For example, Florida adopted the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act. The Act requires that all premarital agreements be in writing and signed by both parties. It is enforceable without consideration other than the marriage itself.

Couples wanting to sign a prenuptial agreement can enter into a premarital agreement with respect to their rights and obligations in any of their property. Whenever and wherever property was acquired or where it is located; couples can control their right to buy, sell, use, transfer, or otherwise manage and control their property if they separate, divorce, or die.

While prenuptial agreements may be challenged in court, we will have to wait and see if Witherspoon’s husband will try to avoid their prenuptial agreement. When ruling on the validity of a prenup, Florida courts must consider things such as fraud, duress, coercion, in addition to the unfairness of the agreement, and whether there was any financial disclosure.

Divorce in Pleasantville

In court documents, in addition to alleging the couple has a prenuptial agreement in place, Witherspoon also asks the court to designate her and Toth as joint custodians of their 10-year-old son. Witherspoon and her CAA talent agent husband announced their divorce in a joint statement, just days before their 12th anniversary.

They announced personal news to share. They also stated it was with a great deal of care and consideration that they have made the difficult decision to divorce. They mentioned they have enjoyed so many wonderful years together and are moving forward with deep love, kindness and mutual respect for everything they have created together.

“Our biggest priority is our son and our entire family as we navigate this next chapter. These matters are never easy and are extremely personal. We truly appreciate everyone’s respect for our family’s privacy at this time.”

The People article is here.

Lottery and Divorce

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

The interplay of winning the lottery and divorce is in the news. That’s because of an interesting new report out of Sweden that is showing married women who win the lottery are more likely to divorce than men who win the lottery.

Divorce Lottery

The Big Payout

The Swedish study, titled “Fortunate Families? The effects of wealth on marriage and fertility”, tried to analyze the short term effects of large, positive wealth shocks on marriage and fertility in a sample of Swedish lottery players up to 10 years after a lottery windfall.

Researchers found that married women who win the lottery are almost twice as likely as married men to file for a divorce in the aftermath of a win compared to male lottery winners.

“When the winning player is a married woman, our estimates suggest that a 1 million-Swedish krona windfall almost doubles the base-line short-run divorce rate”

The study made a point of noting that winning the lottery as a woman doesn’t cause more divorces — it simply accelerates them for women whose dissolution was already underway. The authors also show this divorce effect after women win the lottery fades away in the long-run.

Florida Lottery and Divorce

But how are lottery winnings distributed in a divorce? I have written about equitable distribution in Florida before. In a proceeding for dissolution of marriage, in addition to all other remedies available to a court to do equity between the parties, a court must set apart to each spouse that spouse’s non-marital assets and liabilities.

However, when distributing the marital assets between spouses, a family court must begin with the premise that the distribution should be equal, unless there is a justification for an unequal distribution based on all relevant factors.

In Florida, nonmarital assets which are not divided include things such as assets acquired before the marriage; assets you acquired separately by non-interspousal gift, and assets excluded as marital in a valid written agreement. Conversely, marital assets which are subject to division generally include things like assets and liabilities acquired during the marriage and the enhancement in value of some nonmarital assets.

Florida is an equitable distribution state, and all assets acquired during the marriage are considered marital property. So, if a spouse wins the lottery while still married to the other, it is generally going to be considered marital property and split equitably in the event of a divorce.

However, this does not mean that the winnings must be split equally. The lottery winnings should be factored into the entire equitable distribution scheme. After adding the lottery millions to the equation, a court can look at the marital debts and take into consideration if the lucky spouse who won the lottery has a gambling addiction and accrued massive debts.

Powerball

Men who win the lottery actually have higher marriage rates, and a reduced divorce risk suggesting, surprisingly, that wealth actually increases men’s attractiveness! According to Swedish researchers:

“Long-term divorce risk goes down when husbands win the lottery.”

In fact, a lottery win for men increases the chance of unmarried men getting married in the five years after they win by 30 percent, while the chances of married men getting divorced is reduced by 40 percent.

There is an impact on fertility by winning the lottery too. The study found that, not only are male winners much more likely to get or stay married, they also end up having more children. This trend in the fertility of lottery winners was consistent regardless of whether the man was married or not.

Apparently, the Swedish study concluded wealth actually makes men seem more appealing to current prospective partners and gives women lottery winners an early out from unsatisfactory relationships.

These results are compatible with previous empirical evidence showing that a higher husband’s income or employment stabilizes marriages, while an increase in wives’ income or employment has the opposite effect.

The Guardian article is here.

 

The Importance of Divorce Jurisdiction

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

The jurisdiction where you file your divorce can be of extreme importance. File in the wrong jurisdiction, and your divorce can be deemed a nullity. In Afghanistan, where divorce is taboo, the Taliban have started to void divorce judgments granted under the previous government.

Divorce Jurisdiction

Trouble in Kabul

Reports from Afghanistan are flowing in about women, who were abused for years by their ex-husbands, who have now had to go into hiding with their children after the Taliban tore up their divorce decrees.

A small number of women, under the previous US-backed government, were granted a legal separation in Afghanistan. However, when Taliban forces swept into power in 2021, husbands claimed they had been forced into divorce and the Taliban are ordering women back to their husbands.

“My daughters and I cried a lot that day. I said to myself, ‘Oh God, the devil has returned.”

The Taliban government, which imposes strict Islamic law, has placed severe restrictions on women’s lives that some have called “gender-based apartheid”. Afghan women have been denied education, restrictions on movement, and a lack of participation in the economy.

Importantly, lawyers say that several women have reported being dragged back into abusive marriages after Taliban commanders voided their divorce judgments.

Florida Divorce Jurisdiction

I have written about jurisdiction in Florida divorce cases before. In Florida, there is no common law right to a divorce. Divorce in Florida is formally called a “dissolution of marriage”, and the cause of action for dissolution of marriage is entirely dependent on Florida Statutes.

The only true jurisdictional requirement imposed by statute in Florida is to show that one of the parties to the marriage has resided six months in the state of Florida before the filing of the petition for dissolution of marriage.

The importance of meeting the statutory requirement is important as it allows you to obtain recognition of your divorce judgment in other states under the full faith and credit clause of the United States Constitution.

Although Florida’s residency requirement sounds simple enough, it is a jurisdictional requirement which must be alleged and proved in every case. Failure to do so, renders your divorce null and void.

Bad News in Kunduz

According to the UN’s mission in Afghanistan, nine in ten women will experience physical, sexual or psychological violence from their partner. However, divorce is considered more taboo than domestic violence is in Afghanistan. Worse, the culture remains unforgiving to women who part with their husbands.

Under the previous US-backed government, divorce rates were steadily rising in some cities, where the small gains in women’s rights were largely limited to education and employment.
As awareness grew, women realized that separating from abusive husbands was possible.

Under the US-backed regime, special family courts with women judges and lawyers were established to hear such cases, but the Taliban authorities have made their new justice system an all-male affair.

Divorces under the new Taliban government are limited to when a husband was a classified drug addict or has left the country. In cases of domestic violence, or when a husband does not agree to a divorce, divorce is not permitted.

Child marriages are also an ongoing phenomenon in Afghanistan. In one case, Sana was 15 when she married her cousin who was 10 years older than her. With the help of a free legal service project Sana won a divorce from her husband in court — but her relief was shattered when Taliban commanders came knocking.

Threatened with losing custody of her four daughters, she returned to her ex-husband who by then had also married another woman. She escaped after he announced the engagement of her daughters to Taliban members.

The oppressive measures against women in Afghanistan are aggravating the economic woes of the country. A report by the International Crisis Group states that many western countries, and even private donors, have canceled donations fearing backlash from funding such an oppressive regime.

India’s NDTV article is here.

Divorce May be Coming to the Philippines

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

While most of the world has legalized absolute divorce, the Philippines have not. But legalalized divorce may be coming to the Philippines after the House Committee on Population and Family Relations approved, in principle, several bills on divorce and dissolution of marriage.

Philippines Divorce

A Thrilla in Manila

Going much further to modernize its family laws, in fact, the House committee on population and family relations has approved in principle eight bills on divorce. The bills will be consolidated into a substitute measure by a technical working group.

According to Representatives:

The Philippines is now the only country that has not legalized absolute divorce. Till death do us part, is wonderful. Marriage is beautiful. But only for those who get it right.

Currently, the only legal ways for a married couple to separate are separation in the Philippines. Even by the standards of former Spanish colonies, the Philippines has very socially conservative laws. It is the only country in world, bar the Vatican City, to outlaw divorce.

Historically, the only way of ending a marriage in the Philippines, short of dying, is to have it annulled, but that can be done only on narrow grounds and at great expense. Abortion is illegal, too, and anyone undergoing or performing one risks up to six years in prison.

Florida Divorce

The official term for divorce in Florida is “dissolution of marriage”, and you don’t need fault as a ground for divorce. Florida abolished fault as a ground for divorce.

I’ve written about international divorce issues before. The no-fault concept in Florida means you no longer have to prove a reason for the divorce, like your husband’s alleged infidelity. Instead, you just need to state under oath that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

Before the no-fault divorce era, people who wanted to get divorce either had to reach agreement in advance with the other spouse that the marriage was over, or throw mud at each other and prove wrongdoing like adultery or abuse.

No-fault laws were the result of trying to change the way divorces played out in court. No fault laws have reduced the number of feuding couples who felt the need to resort to distorted facts, lies, and the need to focus the trial on who did what to whom.

Philippines Divorce2

Possibilities in the Philippines

In the Philippines, more modern laws have replaced older Spanish civil laws, which only referred to relative divorce or legal separation. The laws have allowed divorce on the ground of criminal conviction for adultery or concubinage. However, most couples filed for dissolution of marriage from 2009 to 2022, records show.

But apart from the expensive and long process of annulment and dissolution of marriage, annulments and dissolutions of marriage for cause are also complicated in the Philippines:

“Unlike in a divorce proceeding which it is mandated to be inexpensive, affordable and expeditious poor women are left without options, but we surprisingly see rich personalities able to expedite annulment they have the money.”

In annulments – and dissolutions of marriage based on psychological incapacity, – causes must exist before or contemporaneous with the celebration of the marriage.

Some groups have expressed opposition to the divorce bills. Many argue the bills are contrary to the constitutional mandate to strengthen and protect the family as a basic autonomous social institution and marriage as an inviolable social institution.

Another group, however, countered that having divorce is important, especially if the husband or wife is in an abusive relationship. Allowing married spouses trapped in irremediably broken marriages to break free and start anew.

The Philippine Catholic Church has strongly opposed the measure, calling it “anti-marriage and anti-family.” The catechism of the Catholic Church considers divorce a “grave offense” against natural law as “it claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other ’till death.”

However, the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, meanwhile, said it is supportive of the bill recognizing church annulment:

“We are not supportive of the bill on absolute divorce but we are actually supportive of the bill recognizing church annulments. It’s going to be cheaper than the usual one.”

It is claimed that the bill legalizing divorce in the Philippines will ease the burden on separated or irreconcilable couples. They can go on their separate way and be free to remarry a new spouse. Broken homes are prevalent anyway among families, even without divorce.

The CNN Philippines article is here.

Inflation and Your Divorce

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Inflation rates are the highest they have been in 40 years. Around the world couples are under pressure from today’s high costs of living. Many economists are discovering there is a surprising and ambiguous link between inflation and your divorce.

Inflation Divorce

Divorce and Inflation Trends

In the U.S., the annual inflation rate is 6.4 percent for the 12 month period which ended in January. Inflation in the United Kingdom peaked at 11.1 percent last October. The Euro area’s annual inflation is expected to be 8.5 percent.

For families, higher prices at the gas pump can fuel marital conflict and instability. Surprisingly, many economists have noted that in the population at large a high inflation rate can have two opposite impacts: (a) either cause marital break-ups, or (b) make people more appreciative of their marriages.

For example, in the 1980s, the last time inflation was high, divorce rates fell as the recession worsened. Then during the 2008 financial crisis, economists predicted sky-high divorce rates which never materialized.

Critics have pointed out that divorce rates had been soaring since the 1960s, when no-fault divorce laws were enacted. Previously, couples had to prove infidelity, addiction, dangerous behavior or another fault to obtain a divorce. But with the introduction of no fault divorce around the globe, divorce rates started to settle.

Another phenomenon is that across the world, marriage rates have been decreasing since the 1960s. In 1964, eight marriages for every 1,000 people across the EU. That figure dropped by over 50 percent in 2020. In the U.S., the marriage rate stood at six per 1,000 people of the population. This is a decrease from 1990 levels, when the marriage rate was 9.8.

Florida No Fault Divorce

The official term for divorce in Florida is “dissolution of marriage”, and you no longer need to prove fault as a ground for divorce. Florida abolished fault as a ground for divorce.

I’ve written about no fault divorce issues before. The no-fault concept in Florida means you no longer have to prove a reason for the divorce. Instead, you just need to state under oath that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

Before the no-fault divorce era, people who wanted to get divorce either had to reach agreement in advance with the other spouse that the marriage was over or throw mud at each other and prove wrongdoing like adultery or abuse.

No-fault laws were the result of trying to change the way divorces played out in court. No fault laws have reduced the number of feuding couples who felt the need to resort to distorted facts, lies, and the need to focus the trial on who did what to whom.

Inflation and your Settlement

The ambiguity around the connection between inflation and divorce is puzzling. Some economic analysts believe that the ability to divorce during inflation may simply be different among households depending on their individual economic status.

Inflation brings higher food, gas, electricity, and housing prices. These price increases impact low income families much more than they do high income families because food costs, electric bills, and gas prices represent a large percentage of lower income households.

Conversely, an increase in prices may even positively impact higher income families because they own more assets and have more expensive properties.

In your divorce, you may have a concern about keeping the marital home for the children. Many homeowners have adjustable rate mortgages – which used to have a small payment over a short-term. Now, however, adjustable rate periods may be ending and the cost of paying for your house can increase dramatically. The high prices for homes, the mortgage rate,. and the increasingly expensive cost of affording a home, can impact your decision to keep your home.

Alimony can also be impacted. There are various forms of alimony in Florida: both short-term, bridge-the-gap, and longer durational alimony. Divorce settlement agreements sometimes spell out guidelines for payments, such as decreasing or increasing the amount paid over time. In some cases, the adjustments in payments can be tied to the consumer price index generally, or fixed to the paying party’s income.

The Euronews article is here.

Pet Custody in Tennessee

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

The issue of pet custody is increasingly becoming big news in many jurisdictions as people’s views of their relationships with pets change. A new proposed Tennessee pet custody bill could bring a pet custody and visitation law to the Smokey Mountains.

pet custody tennesee

Pet Custody at its Best

Generally, when couples divorce, current law has always been that pets are treated pretty much the same as ownership of your living room couch would be – or any other piece of property for that matter. There has traditionally never been a thing called pet visitation at common law.

Two Tennessee state lawmakers are now trying to change the traditional way of dealing with pets in divorce with some new legislation. According to reports, the new bill would allow a family law judge to determine pet custody based on what’s in the best interest for the wellbeing of a pet.

Tennessee HB467/SB568 essentially states that the family law court may provide for the ownership or joint ownership of any pet or companion animal owned by the parties, taking into consideration the well-being of the animal. If passed in its current state, the act would take effect July 1, 2023.

Tennessee Representative, Caleb Hemmer, a Nashville Democrat, said he tackled the issue because custody of a pet can be a deeply emotional issue.

“For many people, pets are like family members and even cared for like children. It only makes sense for courts to treat them the same way.”

Politicians began to research passing a bill after they personally lived through the painful experience of losing custody of the family dog during a divorce.

Florida Pet Custody

I’ve written on the development of pet custody cases and statutes around the world before. Pet custody cases are becoming more and more prevalent internationally because lawmakers and advocacy groups are promoting the notion that the legal system should act in the best interests of animals. This is due, in part, because pet ownership has increased.

Pets are becoming a recognized part of the family. Some would argue they’re a modern couple’s new kids. About 15 years ago, states began to allow people to leave their estates to care for their pets. Recently, courts have gone so far as to award shared custody, visitation and even alimony payments to pet owners.

Florida doesn’t have pet custody or visitation laws. Florida courts are already overwhelmed with the supervision of custody, visitation, and support matters related to the protection of children.

Not all states have ruled out a visitation schedule for dogs like Florida. For instance, while Texas also views dogs as personal property, in one case a Texas court authorized visitation. A new California law changed the way pet custody is handled in divorce cases. The law gives judges the power to consider the care and the best interest of the pet when making decisions.

According to a recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, about 30% of attorneys have seen a decrease over the past three years in pet custody cases in front of a judge.

Over the last decade, the question of pet custody has become more prevalent, particularly when it involves a two-income couple with no children who shared responsibility for, and are both attached to, the pet.

Smiling in the Smokey Mountains

The issue of pet custody is gaining traction around the U.S. and the world as pet ownership climbs. The COVID pandemic help to further propel pet ownership and this issue. A new Forbes Advisor survey found that an overwhelming majority of pet owners – about 78 percent – acquired their pets during the pandemic.

Already about five states and Washington D.C. have passed similar pet custody laws. The current bill proposal by Tennessee politicians Hemmer and Yarbro applies to any pet owned by a married couple.

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers has repeatedly reported that there’s been an ever increase in arguments over pet custody in recent years. Additionally, the drafters of the Tennessee bill want more jurisdictions to pass pet custody laws.

The Axios Nashville article is here.

China’s Divorce Laws Mean Fewer Marriages

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

China may be learning an old lesson that strict divorce laws can mean fewer marriages. In addition to the country’s recent worries about the imminent decline in its population, the number of people in China getting married for the first time has been dropping too.

Strict Divorce Law

Hidden Dragon

Although China has 1.4 billion people, the most in the world, its births are set to fall to record lows this year, demographers say, dropping 11.5% from 2020. China’s fertility rate in 2021 was below the OECD standard for a stable population, and among the lowest in the world.

Over the past year or so, China has enacted tax deductions, longer maternity leave, enhanced medical insurance, housing subsidies, and extra money for a third child, but the desire among Chinese women to have children is the lowest in the world.

Adding to the problem is China’s diminishing marriage rate, which slumped again. The number getting married for the first time dropped to 11.6 million last year, almost 700,000 down on the previous year. This was well down on a peak of 23.9 million in 2013.

Faced with mounting fertility problems and a soaring divorce rate, the ruling Communist Party in China introduced a rule last year to keep unhappy marriages together by forcing couples to undergo a 30-day “cooling off” period before finalizing a divorce.

The new law appears to have worked, according to government officials, marriage registration authorities have seen a drop in divorces that many local governments claimed was because of the controversial measure.

But along with that decline in the divorce rate, the number of marriage registrations plunged to a 36-year low in 2021. The fall in marriages has contributed to a plummet in birthrates, a worrying sign in China’s rapidly graying society and a phenomenon more familiar in countries like Japan and South Korea.

Florida No-Fault Divorce

The official term for divorce in Florida is “dissolution of marriage”, and you don’t need fault as a ground for divorce. Florida abolished fault as a ground for divorce.

I’ve written about divorce trends before. The no-fault concept in Florida means you no longer have to prove a reason for the divorce, like your husband’s alleged infidelity with a congresswoman. Instead, you just need to state under oath that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

Before the no-fault divorce era, people who wanted to get divorce either had to reach agreement in advance with the other spouse that the marriage was over, or throw mud at each other and prove wrongdoing like adultery or abuse.

No-fault laws were the result of trying to change the way divorces played out in court. No fault laws have reduced the number of feuding couples who felt the need to resort to distorted facts, lies, and the need to focus the trial on who did what to whom.

The Great Wall to Marriage

Posters on social media in China have hailed the “wise” decision made by young people not marrying, and said they too would not be getting married. One user wrote:

“Marriage is like a gamble. The problem is that ordinary people can’t afford to lose, so I choose not to take part.”

The controversial measures enacted by the Chinese Communist Party have led to a dramatic fall in the divorce rate but critics have said it disadvantages women, particularly those without an independent source of income.

A divorce seeker has to wait for 30 days after making an application, and longer if the partner refuses to get divorce. Not to mention many people’s divorce requests were not approved even when they were suffering from cheating and domestic violence.

The director of the Guangdong Population Development, told Yicai news:

Young people face increasing life pressures, and cannot afford the burden of getting married, which traditionally involves buying a house and raising children. Young people prefer the freedom of single life.

The average age of people who get married for the first time also increased significantly, from 24.89 in 2010 to 28.67 in 2020, according to the China Population Census Yearbook 2020. A 2021 report published by iiMedia Research also highlighted growing numbers of people consciously identifying themselves as celibate.

Four per cent of 3,900 single respondents between the age 20 and 45 identified themselves as “steadfast celibates”, with another 21 per cent describing themselves as “less-determined celibates”.

Most of the self-declared celibates were women over 30, who were better-educated with a higher income in first-tier cities, according to the report.

The South China Morning Post article is here.

Is January Divorce Month?

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

The BBC reports that the first Monday of the New Year has long been known among U.K. solicitors and counsellors (in the U.S. lawyers) as “Divorce Day”. However, in Wales and increasingly around the world, it appears this divorce phenomenon is turning January into “Divorce Month”.

Divorce New Years

New Year, New You

One law firm in the U.K. has reported to the BBC that enquiries in January have spiked at about 150% of the November, December and February average. A relationship counselling charity also said it had seen an increase in couple’s asking for help.

“In terms of stressors on a relationship, Christmas can be right up there with moving house or having a child. There’s the pressure of being cooped up at home with your extended family, or at the other end of the spectrum, not seeing as much of them as you’d like because of work commitments.”

The phenomenon on divorce filings in January is not unique to Wales either. In general, many family lawyers in North America report a rise of nearly one-third in business in the New Year. In fact The president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (the AAML), says he typically sees a spike of 25% to 30% every year in January.

Being cooped up in a house for several days when a marriage is experiencing serious problems — while dealing with the pressure to put on a happy face for the kids and visiting relatives — takes its toll on the most stoic of couples.

Holiday time is usually a time when U.S. lawyers (in the U.K. solicitors and counsellors) get a spike in consultations and in being retained by clients. Holiday time is usually fraught with a lot of tension, emotion and financial issues, which is usually the trigger.

Florida No-Fault Divorce

The official term for divorce in Florida is “dissolution of marriage”, and you don’t need fault as a ground for divorce. Florida abolished fault as a ground for divorce.

I’ve written about divorce and statistics – such as the the new year phenomenon – before. The no-fault concept in Florida means you no longer have to prove a reason for the divorce, like your husband’s alleged infidelity with a congresswoman. Instead, you just need to state under oath that your marriage is “irretrievably broken.”

Before the no-fault divorce era, people who wanted to get divorce either had to reach agreement in advance with the other spouse that the marriage was over, or throw mud at each other and prove wrongdoing like adultery or abuse.

No-fault laws were the result of trying to change the way divorces played out in court. No fault laws have reduced the number of feuding couples who felt the need to resort to distorted facts, lies, and the need to focus the trial on who did what to whom.

Wailing in Wales

In Wales, one lawyer reports rising inflation and costs for good is having an impact on filing for divorce this year. He is finding that there is increasing anxiety over the rise of prices, and wailing about how to heat the home, never mind finding money for Christmas presents. He also reported the Christmas break was a snapshot of what couples experienced during the height of the Covid pandemic.

One charity said many couples expected their relationships to come under increased strain over the coming months, with financial worries, mental health problems and the pressure to create the perfect Christmas cited as reasons.

The pressure seems to be universal, across all ages, married or cohabiting, and straight or same-sex relationships, though the causes do vary according to their age. For the under 35s money worries account for about half the problems identified, with the difficulties of having to live with parents if you can’t afford your own home, and the increase in prices.

However for older couples other factors come into play, such as parenting, and the toll of caring for elderly relatives in an aging population. Communication is vital at any stage of a relationship, but especially so in the early days. Often counselling can help them to understand what has gone wrong, to part as amicably as possible, and avoid making the same mistakes in future relationships.

In Florida, you can file for divorce, and then you have a period of time before you have to serve the papers. Most unhappy spouses wait until after the turkey has been carved, the gifts have been unwrapped, and the new year has started.

The BBC article is here.