When does child discipline cross the line between punishment and domestic violence? It is a frequent child custody issue which can impact parental rights and timesharing. After a Colorado ski vacation, two parents found out how Florida courts look at punishing your teenager for marijuana, theft, and ingratitude.

Punishment Domestic Violence

Rocky Mountain High

The two Florida parents divorced in 2018. About four years after their divorce, a domestic violence injunction was filed by the mother against the father on behalf of their fourteen-year-old daughter. The Mother alleged in her petition that the father had punched the daughter; grabbed her by the hair, and then sat on his daughter. Worse, while sitting on top of her, the father continued to punch and slap his daughter.

At the trial, the Father testified that he and his daughter had just returned from a Colorado ski vacation during the winter holidays. When they returned, his daughter had given him a pair of socks as a gift. Either very suspicious, or just unhappy with his gift, the father suspected the gift socks were stolen.

The father searched the daughter’s room to see if there were other stolen items. In her backpack from the ski trip to Colorado, the father found marijuana, a pipe, and a vape pen. Colorado, remember, became the first state in the U.S. to sell legal recreational marijuana for adult use. The father announced he was going to punish the daughter for stealing, lying, and possessing marijuana and a vape pen by taking away her most cherished item, her phone.

The daughter refused to give the father her phone, obviously, and they ended up tussling over it. At some point, the daughter snapped the father’s finger back and broke it.

The father refused to return her phone, and the daughter threw a metal thermos and an orange juice bottle. Father denied punching her, pulling her hair, or sitting on her. The daughter told the neighbor she had gotten into an argument with her father but did not need the neighbor to call the police.

The daughter then went back to the father’s house. The neighbor testified the daughter did not seem fearful to return to her father’s house. She then came back to the neighbor’s house and asked for a ride to the mother’s house. During the car ride, the neighbor did not see any physical injuries on the daughter

The mother testified she saw a bruise on the daughter’s back, leg, and arm. The mother took pictures of the bruises. A Child Protection Investigator testified there were “no indicators of mental or physical injury because the parties were deemed as mutual combatants.” The CPI observed “a little black and blue” on the daughter’s shoulder and arm but no bruising or marks. The guardian ad litem for the child also testified, and said it was a mutual combatant situation, and “absolutely 100 percent inappropriate.”

The trial court found there was competent substantial evidence that the daughter is in fear, and granted the injunction for six months. Father appealed.

Punishment in Florida

I’ve written about spanking and custody before. In Florida, parents have a right to discipline their child in a reasonable manner. Florida has strong laws for the protection against domestic violence. Domestic violence includes any assault, battery or any other offense resulting in physical injury of a family member by another family member.

However, parents have to discipline their children, and as the good book says:

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”

A parent’s right to administer reasonable corporal punishment to discipline a child is not a crime when it does not result in harm to the child. Harm, by the way, does not mean just bruises or welts. Harm also means that the discipline is likely to result in physical injury, mental injury, or emotional injury. Even if you don’t physically harm a child, your actions could be criminal.

Florida’s parental privilege to use corporal discipline does not give absolute immunity either. Your run-of-the-mill spanking may be protected from charges of child abuse, but sitting on your child, punching her on the floor and pulling her hair is not. While there are some limited privileges for discipline, there are major risks to your custody case, your domestic violence case, and most importantly, to your children.

The High Court

The argument by the father on appeal was that the altercation between he and his cellphone addicted teenage daughter was nothing more than the father exercising his right to discipline his child. He argued his actions were appropriate physical discipline, rather than an assault, battery, aggravated assault, or aggravated battery.

There was also no history of domestic violence by the father toward the daughter or evidence that would give her a reason to believe she was about to be subjected to domestic violence. The injunction was based solely on the one post-Colorado ski trip incident between a father and his teenage daughter in which he physically wrenched the cellphone from her.

The 4th DCA reversed. The father’s physical and verbal actions in taking away the daughter’s cell phone was a form of physical discipline, not corporal punishment. The appellate court ruled that even if it was punishment, it was not excessive corporal punishment because the daughter refused to surrender her phone, and there was no evidence of disfigurement or significant bruising on the child.

The opinion is available here.

Years of research has shown that spanking children is ineffective and may be harmful. The American Academy of Pediatrics just announced a new policy that parents not spank, hit or slap their children. With all the new research out there, people are discovery that there is a connection between child custody and punishment.

custody and punishment

New Corporal Punishment Policy

The new AAP policy against spanking reflects decades of critical new research on the effects of corporal punishment and because parents and educators put enormous trust in pediatricians for discipline advice.

When your pediatrician says not to spank, there is a very good chance that parents will listen. The other good news is that it is becoming unacceptable to use corporal punishment.

Some hospitals have a “no hit zone” policy that do not allow hitting of any kind, including parents spanking children. City leaders in Stoughton, Wisconsin made their whole cities into “no hit zones” – similar to no smoking zones.

Florida Custody and Punishment

I’ve written about child custody and punishment before. Florida does not use the term “custody” anymore, we have the parenting plan concept. For purposes of establishing a parenting plan, the best interest of the child is the primary consideration.

The best interests of the child are determined by evaluating all of the factors affecting the welfare and interests of the particular minor child and the circumstances of that family, including evidence of domestic violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect.

Historically, parents have always had a right to discipline their child in a ‘reasonable manner.’ So, our laws recognize that corporal discipline of a child by a parent for disciplinary purposes does not in itself constitute abuse when it does not result in harm to the child.

Harm, by the way, does not mean just bruises or welts for instance. Harm also means that the discipline is likely to result in physical injury, mental injury, or emotional injury. Even if you don’t physically harm a child, your actions could be criminal.

Keep in mind that lawyers, guardians and judges are watching you, and you don’t want your punishment methods to become an issue in your custody case. While there are some limited privileges for discipline, there are major risks to your custody case, and most importantly, to your children.

Spanking Doesn’t Work

There are practical reasons to stop spanking besides custody. The main one is that it does not work. Numerous studies show that spanking does not make children better behaved in the long run, and in fact makes their behavior worse.

Spanking also teaches children that it is acceptable to use physical force to get what you want. It is thus no surprise that the more children are spanked, the more aggressive or to engage in delinquent behaviors like stealing they may be.

Millions of parents have raised well-adjusted children without spanking. Nothing is perfect, but telling children clearly what you expect from them and then praising them when they do it is the best approach to discipline.

The CNN article is here.

Tag: corporal punishment

Punishment and Domestic Violence