Tag: Divorce

What if a Spouse Dies During the Divorce?

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Well this is a gloomy post: it’s about death and divorce. In November 1789, Benjamin Franklin wrote: “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.” If roughly half of marriages end in divorce, there are some odds that a spouse will die during the divorce case. What happens legally and emotionally when a spouse dies during the divorce?

Emotional Roller Coaster

As the Washington Post reports, a couple of years after a wife and husband separated — but before he reached a divorce settlement — he died of a heart attack at age 57.

Overnight, the wife went from almost-ex-wife to widow. But, nearly six years later, I still feel as if I was widowed on a technicality. A real widow doesn’t have a divorce lawyer and a Match profile. A real widow is pining for her spouse, inconsolable.

Sometimes she calls herself a “partial widow.” To make her point, she mentioned a friend whose fiancé died three weeks before their wedding. “She doesn’t get to call herself a widow and I do?” “That’s ridiculous.”

Misplaced Emotions

“It’s called disenfranchised grief,” and it is also referred to as the grief that has no voice, because it’s a grief that our society typically does not recognize.”

It occurs in situations that fall outside the norm and might also include, for example, mourning the death of a former spouse or an extramarital lover. A widow who was about to be divorced has no defined place in society, so we often don’t know what we’re supposed to do.

Even responding to condolences can be awkward because there’s an element of not wanting to accept sympathy for something that is a misconception on their part. Others feel for the surviving spouse in a way that doesn’t feel accurate to the experience. It’s a different kind of pain than they’re assuming.

Legal Implications

I’ve written about divorce problems before. When a spouse dies during a divorce, the death of the spouse can have major legal implications that extend far beyond the mixed feelings you may have about losing your soon-to-be ex spouse.

Divorces are unlike other civil cases. It is true that in ordinary civil cases, the death of a party does not deprive a court of the power to enter a judgment after the death of a party. This means a court can still rule. This happens frequently in breach of contract actions, and especially in personal injury cases.

However, the general principle does not apply to divorce actions since the death itself has already terminated the marriage.

In Florida, the general rule for divorce is that there can be no judgment of divorce rendered after the death of either of the parties, since that event of itself terminates the status of marriage.

This immediate stopping of the divorce when a spouse dies during the divorce process can cause a lot of problems. This is especially true in divorce cases in which the parties are elderly, or sick, and death is a very real possibility. In those cases, the parties should seriously consider ways to avoid the court losing jurisdiction because of death.

The Washington Post article is here.

 

Chris Rock’s Divorce Tips

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Chris Rock has headed out on his newest “Total Blackout Tour” in February, marking his first full-scale world tour in nine years. He also recently divorced his ex-wife, Malaak Compton-Rock in 2016. What Chris has said about his divorce experience may surprise you.

Chris gave an interview to Rolling Stone magazine recently, and though he jokingly calls his latest tour his “alimony tour,” he gets serious when talking about life after divorce.

“Getting divorced, you have to f–king start over,” he said. “You get to reset. It’s not a breakdown, but something in your life broke down.”

Communication between Ex-Spouses

However, instead of blaming his ex-wife – like he used to in some of his older comedy shows – he claims now that he has changed his mentality.

There are several reasons Rock has toned down the negativity when it comes to discussing his divorce and ex-wife.

For one, he said, “I asked myself, ‘Do I want to be angry for a year?’ It’s not a cool place to be. It’s not healthy.”

Secondly, he claims it’s not fair that he can go out and bash his ex, but that his ex doesn’t have a platform to defend herself. “It’s not fair”. “I have a mic, she doesn’t. God forbid people are bugging her in the supermarket. That’s not cool. I’m going to have to see her at weddings and graduations.”

Custody Battles

Rock, like other fathers going through divorce, had a rough time dealing with custody issues. Not just the battles with his ex-wife, but with himself and the children too.

For example, he spoke candidly about his emotions, that he cried once, “during the custody battle” over  his two daughters, Zahra and Lola Rock.

In order to be a more involved father, he moved closer to his children.

“All my friends assume I moved into the city after my divorce, away from my girls. When I say I bought a house around the corner, it blows their minds.”

Rock also spoke about the angry feelings his children express. In fact, at one point in the Rolling Stone interview, rock got candid and admitted: “My own daughter has blocked me on Instagram. They grow up so quick.”

I’ve written about Chris Rock’s divorce before, because his comments on his divorce have been both funny and surprising. For example, while his divorce was a custody battle (he claimed that his ex-wife had “repeatedly refused to permit him normal and usual access to the children) he also said:

“When you see me on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ . . . I’m not on crack, that’s just alimony!”

The Rolling Stone article is here.

 

Is Your Marriage Valid?

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Thinking about divorce? Concerned about alimony? Want to divide property? Many people who file for divorce may sadly discover they were not married legally, and can’t divorce! For one couple, the lack of a valid marriage led to a federal fraud case.

Florida Marriages

First off, common-law marriages have been abolished in Florida since 1968. In order to be validly married, you need a license. It may seem like a mere formality, but couples who want to be married must apply for a license.

There is a fee for getting a marriage license, and that fee is reduced for attending pre-marital counseling. The license is valid for 60 days. The officiant at the ceremony must certify that the marriage was solemnized.

The certified marriage license must be returned to the clerk or an issuing judge within 10 days, and the clerk or judge is required to keep a correct record of certified marriage licenses.

I have written about Florida marriages and divorces before. Florida courts have repeatedly warned people that they cannot depart from the requirement of the Florida Statutes to have a license, otherwise the courts would be re-creating common-law marriages.

Don’t Forget your License

In the fall of 2004, Jonathan Arnold and Leticia Villarreal exchanged marriage vows in California in a ceremony solemnized by both a priest and a rabbi. But they forgot to file their marriage license as required by law.

Shortly before their license expired, the county sent them a reminder letter that the license had not yet been filed, and that they needed to file it to complete the legal process. The couple forgot, and the license expired unfiled.

Their relationship deteriorated, they separately filed for divorce — she in California, he in Illinois. However, both divorce cases had to be terminated when they found out that they were never married.

By not filing their marriage license, they could not divorce, could not make claims for equitable distribution or community property, and could not ask a court for alimony. That can be a devastating result for many couples.

Making a Federal Case out of it

Arnold sued Villarreal in federal court in Illinois alleging various fraud claims and seeking compensatory damages totaling about $1 million. He also sought an additional $1 million in punitive damages. He claimed that she tricked him into believing the two were legally married to induce him to give her gifts, including the California condo.

The trial judge threw out the case as “frivolous” and he appealed to the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals. The appellate court found that Arnold has utterly failed to confront what two district judges recognized: that his fraud claims are not merely meritless but are frivolous.

The panel of judges concluded that he only filed his appeal simply to harass Villarreal.

As Judge Grady drily noted, the courts “are not a proper venue for petty score-settling.”

The opinion is available here.

 

Divorce Extortion

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Producer and director, Stephen Belafonte, and Spice Girl Melanie Brown have a daughter together. Belafonte just gave the LAPD an audiotape of someone trying to extort him for a million dollars while he goes through his divorce.Recorded on March 20, the phone call features a woman who tells Belafonte, ‘I’m gonna take you down’ unless she’s paid $500,000 within 48 hours, a fee that’s later upped to $1m.

The woman in the recording says:

‘I want a million bucks in my account in two days otherwise you’re f***ed, it’s your choice.

 

‘I swear to God I’m gonna talk so much sh*t about you, you have no idea, it’s your choice. And it’s gonna be really really bad.’

During the call, it is also alleged ‘people’ representing Belafonte’s estranged wife Mel B asked Contreras to take the ‘ugly’ story to the media.

Extortion

In divorce, it is easy to cross the line from harmless threats to the crime of extortion. The fact remains that in Florida, it is a second-degree felony to threaten to expose another for the commission of any crime or offense for one’s own pecuniary advantage.

File this under how not to act in divorce, a subject that I’ve written about many times before: from not wearing Nazi uniforms into court, to not getting in fights with the judge.

There can be little doubt that if Belafonte’s allegations are true, and that a spouse was recorded threatening to disclose confidential information in exchange for money, Florida’s extortion statute could cover the kind of situation facing him.

Divorce & Extortion

Very often in divorce, it is very easy for a spouse to cross the line between idle threats and criminal extortion. How? There are several examples. One which comes to mind, is taxes. It is typical for spouses to threaten to report the other spouse to the IRS for underpayment of taxes unless money is paid to keep the silence.

Another very common extortion technique – which is especially true these days – is to issue a threat to report a spouse to immigration officials. One spouse will to use the threat of deportation unless money is paid in a settlement. This has become more common these days as the country cracks down on illegal immigration.

Extortion also happens when signing settlement agreements. For example, spouses sometimes threaten that if the other spouse does not sign the settlement agreement, the other spouse will tell the children about infidelity, or something else to ruin what reputation the spouse has.

Belafonte’s Case

Contreras – who has a 12-year-old daughter Giselle with Belafonte – has denied the recording is authentic.

‘This audio is clearly not me. Stephen is falsifying stories because I have told the press the truth,’ Contreras told TMZ.

An LAPD investigative report obtained by DailyMail.com echoes TMZ, stating Contreras called Belafonte at 10pm on March 20, which is also the day Mel B filed for divorce.

In the police report filed on Thursday, the officer completing the document wrote: ‘Susp called victim and demanded $1million deposited into her account or she would disclose personal information to media.’

The alleged audio tape is the latest revelation in Mel B and Stephen Belafonte’s messy divorce proceedings, which has played out in the tabloid media since the former Spice Girl filed for divorce on March 20, citing ‘irreconcilable differences.

The Metro article is available here.

 

Outlaw Divorce?

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Swaziland’s King Mswati III has told leaders that it is against culture to divorce, and instructed them to tell citizens that there will be no pulling out from marriage, once it takes place. So much for no fault divorce in Swaziland.

Swaziland Divorce

King Mswati III of Swaziland is Africa’s last absolute monarch. The 49-year old king who calls himself “the lion,” owns most of the country’s land and rules by decree, appointing all of the government’s top positions. Now he may make Swaziland the first country in Africa to outlaw divorce.

“In our culture, once you marry someone, there is no turning back,” he said  speaking at an Easter ceremony earlier this month, according to a local paper, Times of Swaziland. There is no word for “divorce” in Siswati, the official language of Swaziland, the king added.

Swaziland officials have been quick to clarify that divorce has not been officially banned. The king’s comments, which are not a decree until he officially tables them, run counter to a recently submitted marriage bill by Swaziland’s attorney general that allows for divorce on certain grounds.

Divorce is not permitted under current legislation, but a process called Kumbuyisela ekhaya, which refers to reuniting a married woman with her family, is allowed.

King Mswati III has at least 15 wives, and is entitled to a new one every year, chosen at an eight day festival known as the reed dance. Polygamy is common in Swaziland where women are considered the property of their husbands. Domestic abuse and sexual violence are prevalent. Leaders often criticize ideas of equal rights for women as foreign values that should be subordinated to Swazi culture, according to Human Rights Watch.

Divorce Around the World

The Philippines is the only country in the world where divorce is illegal for most of the country’s population. (Muslims are allowed to divorce and the country’s mostly Catholic population can annul marriages.) In Vatican City, there are also no procedures for divorce.

Florida, of course is a “no fault” divorce state. I mentioned in an a earlier post that Florida abolished fault as grounds for filing a divorce. The only reason you need to file for divorce in Florida is to prove your marriage is “irretrievably broken.” But many people want to return to the old “fault” system to stem the numbers of divorces.

The King’s directive comes as the kingdom’s attorney-general is drafting a marriage Bill which will make it easier to divorce, particularly for women. The king’s wish is likely to become law, if he formally tables it. This would mostly affect women, whom it says are already oppressed.

“It is not necessarily a decree. However, given the vast powers that the king has it may sound as it is. Remember that he’s also a chairperson of the judiciary commission. I’m just imagining women going there to demand a divorce given that the judge himself will be worried about his job after they had to contradict their boss; in this case the king,” said Lucky Lukhele from the Swaziland Solidarity Network.

The article is available here.

 

Divorce & Halala Marriages

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

For Muslim women who divorce, a number of online sites are charging thousands to have “halala” marriages where you pay to marry, have sex with, and then divorce a stranger, to reconcile with your first husband.

Triple Talaq Divorce

As the BBC reports, Farah – despite an abusive marriage, hoped things would change. Her husband’s behavior worsened – leading to him “divorcing” her via text message.

“I was at home with the children and he was at work. During a heated discussion he sent me a text saying, ‘talaq, talaq, talaq’.”

“Triple talaq” – where a man says “talaq”, or divorce, to his wife three times in a row – is a practice which some Muslims believe ends an Islamic marriage instantly. It is banned in most Muslim countries but still happens.

Farah says she was “absolutely distraught”, but willing to return to her ex-husband because he was “the love of my life”. She says her ex-husband also regretted divorcing her.

This led Farah to seek the controversial practice known as halala, which is accepted by a small minority of Muslims who subscribe to the concept of a triple talaq.

Halala involves the woman marrying someone else, consummating the marriage and then getting a divorce – after which she is able to remarry her first husband. But in some cases, women who seek halala services are at risk of being financially exploited, blackmailed and even sexually abused.

One man, advertising halala services on Facebook, told an undercover BBC reporter posing as a divorced Muslim woman that she would need to pay £2,500 and have sex with him in order for the marriage to be “complete” – at which point he would divorce her.

Florida Divorce Reconciliations

I’ve written about the intersection of religion and divorce before. In Florida, there is no law or restriction on reconciliation with your former spouse after a dissolution of the marriage. In fact, many people have re-married their former spouse after the divorce.

During a divorce, courts can issue orders to promote a reconciliation of the parties. For example, when there are children involved in a divorce, or when someone denies that the marriage is irretrievably broken, the court can order you to consult with a marriage counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, religious leader, or any other person deemed qualified by the court and acceptable to the parties.

The court can also continue the proceedings to enable you to effect a reconciliation; or take other actions in the best interest of the parties and the children.

Criticism of the Nikah Halala

There is a lot of criticism about the Nikah Halala marriage. For example, the BBC reports the Islamic Sharia Council in East London – which regularly advises women on issues around divorce – strongly condemns halala marriages.

“This is a sham marriage, it is about making money and abusing vulnerable people,” says Khola Hasan from the organization. “It’s haram, it’s forbidden. There’s no stronger word I can use. There are other options, like getting help or counselling. We would not allow anyone to go through with that. You do not need halala, no matter what,” she adds.

Farah ultimately decided against getting back with her husband – and the risks of going through a halala marriage. But she warns there are other women out there, like her, who are desperate for a solution.

“Unless you’re in that situation where you’re divorced and feeling the pain I felt, no-one’s going to understand the desperation some women feel.

“If you ask me now, in a sane state, I would never do it. I’m not going to sleep with someone to get back with a man. But at that precise time I was desperate to get back with my ex-partner at any means or measure.”

The BBC report can be found here.

No-Fault Divorce Around the World

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

A British woman who alleges she was “desperately unhappy” being married lost her divorce. Unlike Florida, many places require proving fault, you can lose your case, and have to stay married!

As the BBC reports, Tini Owens, 66, asked the Court of Appeal to overturn a family court judge who turned her down when she asked to divorce her husband Hugh Owens, 78.

You read that correctly. Of all of the issues facing you when you divorce: who gets custody, how will I support myself, what are the tax implications of alimony, in some places you could actually lose your request to divorce and have to stay married.

The appellate court judges in Great Britain upheld the trial judge’s ruling. Mrs. Owens claimed that her marriage had broken down, but Mr. Owens disagreed.

The Husband argued that the couple still had a “few years” to enjoy. And the trial judge agreed with him. The judge ruled the Wife’s allegations were “of the kind to be expected in marriage”. Parliament decreed “it is not a ground for divorce that you find yourself in a wretchedly unhappy marriage, though some people may say it should be.”

Florida is a “No-Fault” state. No-fault laws are widespread across the United States, but not everywhere. No fault laws have helped to reduce animosity in divorces by reducing the need to distort, lie, and air dirty laundry.

I’ve written about no-fault divorce before. Florida abolished fault as grounds for filing a divorce. The only reason you need to file for divorce in Florida is that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.” But as the case of Mrs. Owens shows, in other places, that is not always true.

While Florida is a No-Fault state for divorce, it is interesting to know why people divorce. A recent study out of the UK reveals some surprising reasons why people divorce. Interestingly, adultery is a declining factor.

It appears that couples are less likely to cite adultery as the cause of a divorce than they were 40 years ago. However, claims of “unreasonable behavior” (a British term) have skyrocketed to more than 5 million divorce cases.

The BBC article is available here.

Three Parent Custody Cases

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

A Long Island couple, and a neighbor with whom they had a threesome, have been granted custody of their 10-year-old son to three parents in a groundbreaking ruling.

New York residents Dawn and Michael Marano, married in 1994. They had a conventional marriage, until they befriended downstairs neighbor Audria Garcia in 2001.

Garcia had been living with her boyfriend, but when they split up, she moved upstairs and “began to engage in intimate relations” with the Maranos.

No one told these three people to create this unique relationship Suffolk County Supreme Court Judge H. Patrick Leis III wrote in the ruling for the first-of-its-kind case in New York. It was agreed, before a child was conceived, that [the Maranos and Garcia] would all raise the child together as parents.

The threesome was one big happy family for 18 months, until Garcia and Dawn Marano decided to become a twosome and left Michael. They moved out and into a new home nearby in 2008.

Then Michael Marano sued Garcia for custody of their son. Dawn Marano then sued her husband for divorce. Michael Marano and Garcia agreed to joint custody, but Dawn felt left out.

As neither a biological nor adoptive mom to the boy, Garcia had no automatic legal right to custody. Although she still lives with the mother, Dawn Marano.

Dawn Marano then filed another suit “to secure custody rights because she fears that without court-ordered visitation and shared custody, her ability to remain in the child’s life would be dependent on obtaining the consent of either Audria or [Michael],” Judge Leis explained.

In awarding Dawn Marano shared custody, Leis cited a ruling by New York’s highest court that allowed non-biological or adoptive parents to seek custody of a child if they had a prior relationship with that child.

While the two women are “absolutely thrilled” with the ruling, the New York Post reports that the father, Michael Marano, intends to appeal.

I’ve written about custody issues in Florida before. In one Florida case a man reached a verbal agreement about donating sperm for his two same-sex female neighbors, who would raise their child together.

But shortly before the baby was born, the Father decided he wanted to be considered a parent and not a sperm donor. The women disagreed. Under Florida law, sperm donors have no legal rights to children.

Under the Florida judge’s decision, the two women will have sole parental rights, although the Father will be allowed to visit the child. He will not be expected to provide child support.

The New York Post article is here.

Religion: Divorce or Stay Married?

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

A woman sued her divorce lawyers for negligence, claiming they failed to tell her finalizing her divorce would end her marriage. Crazy, right? It also places the issue of religion and divorce back in the news.

According to the U.K.’s Independent, the divorce malpractice case had already been rejected by the court, but was before a higher British court on appeal.

Jane Mulcahy had argued that the lawyers should have made it clear that a divorce would cause her marriage to be terminated – something which she apparently wanted to avoid.

The lawyers failed to regard her Roman Catholic faith, and should have recommended judicial separation – a step down from full divorce – as an alternative course of action, she said.

I’ve written about religion and divorces before. Each religion has its own requirements for completing a divorce. Although religion is not a factor Florida courts can consider in granting a divorce, for the parties, religion can be extremely important.

Islam has a waiting period. The Catholic Church has the Decree of Invalidity and other remedies so spouses are free to marry again. In Judaism, a husband must give his wife a “Get”.

To avoid problems such as the British woman’s Florida allows people to file for alimony and child support unconnected with dissolution.

In Florida, if a spouse has the ability to contribute to maintain and support the family, but fails to, the other spouse can apply to a court for alimony and for support for the child – without seeking a dissolution of marriage.

Many people are often unaware that there are serious consequences to ending your marriage (loss of health insurance and tax implications for example) and that you can’t simply annul your marriage the way you can divorce.

In the British case, Lord Justice Briggs said:

“The most striking of Mrs Mulcahy’s many allegations of negligence against her solicitors was that, having regard to her Roman Catholic faith, Mrs Boots had failed to give her the advice which was requisite in view of her firmly held belief in the sanctity of marriage…

The Independent article is here.

Ben Affleck: Should You Separate or Divorce?

Posted by Ron Kauffman on

Jennifer Garner filed for divorce from her husband, actor Ben Affleck, almost two years ago, but has yet to officially end her marriage despite a long-term separation.

Affleck has reportedly even been staying in a spare bedroom on the family’s Los Angeles compound. A few weeks back, Us Weekly reported that the couple would keep on with their divorce despite rumors of a possible reconciliation.

The next day, though, E! News claimed that the couple has a “fluid” relationship and that “nothing has really changed” for the couple who has “been working on their relationship for the past few years” and remain in a long-term separation.

Not obtaining an official divorce decree, and having a long-term separation, seems like a good idea, but there are risks. I’ve written about the risks when people separate for years before filing for, or dissolving, their marriages.

Control Over Assets

If you are in a long-term separation, you can be totally out-of-the-loop about your financial well-being. You don’t know what your spouse is earning, spending, investing, selling or buying. In Equitable Distribution states, like Florida, you may be on the hook for some of the debts accumulating during the long-term separation.

Hiding Assets

While you may see no immediate need to legally dissolve your marriage, a long-term separation allows a spouse to plan for a divorce. And, spouses usually plan to make sure that valuable, or difficult to trace, assets are gone when the time comes to disclose your assets and liabilities.

Relocation

Florida has laws governing all aspects of the divorce process, especially as they relate to children. During a long-term separation, your spouse could be transferred to another city, state, or even another country. You should know that the laws relating to divorce and interstate custody are not the same in every state.

Alimony Laws are Changing

For the last several years, the Florida Legislature has tried unsuccessfully to change our alimony laws. The Florida House and the Florida Senate have already introduced bills this year that would dramatically change alimony in Florida. During a long-term separation, alimony laws can change.

The new bills require use of factors to calculate alimony; provide presumptions concerning alimony awards based on the duration of marriages; provide for imputating income in certain circumstances; provide requirements related to taxing and deducting alimony; and prohibit courts from changing the duration of alimony award.

Meeting Someone New

While meeting someone new may make you happier and more fulfilled, it may not help your settlement negotiations. When spouses enter new relationships, they might spend your share of marital assets on their new love interest: buying gifts, going to expensive restaurants, and taking fancy vacations.

Whatever the reasons Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have had for putting off their divorce, there are pitfalls of a long separation you should be aware of.

The Vanity Fair article is here.