When does child discipline cross the line between punishment and domestic violence? It is a frequent child custody issue which can impact parental rights and timesharing. After a Colorado ski vacation, two parents found out how Florida courts look at punishing your teenager for marijuana, theft, and ingratitude.

Punishment Domestic Violence

Rocky Mountain High

The two Florida parents divorced in 2018. About four years after their divorce, a domestic violence injunction was filed by the mother against the father on behalf of their fourteen-year-old daughter. The Mother alleged in her petition that the father had punched the daughter; grabbed her by the hair, and then sat on his daughter. Worse, while sitting on top of her, the father continued to punch and slap his daughter.

At the trial, the Father testified that he and his daughter had just returned from a Colorado ski vacation during the winter holidays. When they returned, his daughter had given him a pair of socks as a gift. Either very suspicious, or just unhappy with his gift, the father suspected the gift socks were stolen.

The father searched the daughter’s room to see if there were other stolen items. In her backpack from the ski trip to Colorado, the father found marijuana, a pipe, and a vape pen. Colorado, remember, became the first state in the U.S. to sell legal recreational marijuana for adult use. The father announced he was going to punish the daughter for stealing, lying, and possessing marijuana and a vape pen by taking away her most cherished item, her phone.

The daughter refused to give the father her phone, obviously, and they ended up tussling over it. At some point, the daughter snapped the father’s finger back and broke it.

The father refused to return her phone, and the daughter threw a metal thermos and an orange juice bottle. Father denied punching her, pulling her hair, or sitting on her. The daughter told the neighbor she had gotten into an argument with her father but did not need the neighbor to call the police.

The daughter then went back to the father’s house. The neighbor testified the daughter did not seem fearful to return to her father’s house. She then came back to the neighbor’s house and asked for a ride to the mother’s house. During the car ride, the neighbor did not see any physical injuries on the daughter

The mother testified she saw a bruise on the daughter’s back, leg, and arm. The mother took pictures of the bruises. A Child Protection Investigator testified there were “no indicators of mental or physical injury because the parties were deemed as mutual combatants.” The CPI observed “a little black and blue” on the daughter’s shoulder and arm but no bruising or marks. The guardian ad litem for the child also testified, and said it was a mutual combatant situation, and “absolutely 100 percent inappropriate.”

The trial court found there was competent substantial evidence that the daughter is in fear, and granted the injunction for six months. Father appealed.

Punishment in Florida

I’ve written about spanking and custody before. In Florida, parents have a right to discipline their child in a reasonable manner. Florida has strong laws for the protection against domestic violence. Domestic violence includes any assault, battery or any other offense resulting in physical injury of a family member by another family member.

However, parents have to discipline their children, and as the good book says:

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”

A parent’s right to administer reasonable corporal punishment to discipline a child is not a crime when it does not result in harm to the child. Harm, by the way, does not mean just bruises or welts. Harm also means that the discipline is likely to result in physical injury, mental injury, or emotional injury. Even if you don’t physically harm a child, your actions could be criminal.

Florida’s parental privilege to use corporal discipline does not give absolute immunity either. Your run-of-the-mill spanking may be protected from charges of child abuse, but sitting on your child, punching her on the floor and pulling her hair is not. While there are some limited privileges for discipline, there are major risks to your custody case, your domestic violence case, and most importantly, to your children.

The High Court

The argument by the father on appeal was that the altercation between he and his cellphone addicted teenage daughter was nothing more than the father exercising his right to discipline his child. He argued his actions were appropriate physical discipline, rather than an assault, battery, aggravated assault, or aggravated battery.

There was also no history of domestic violence by the father toward the daughter or evidence that would give her a reason to believe she was about to be subjected to domestic violence. The injunction was based solely on the one post-Colorado ski trip incident between a father and his teenage daughter in which he physically wrenched the cellphone from her.

The 4th DCA reversed. The father’s physical and verbal actions in taking away the daughter’s cell phone was a form of physical discipline, not corporal punishment. The appellate court ruled that even if it was punishment, it was not excessive corporal punishment because the daughter refused to surrender her phone, and there was no evidence of disfigurement or significant bruising on the child.

The opinion is available here.

Family law and spanking are in the news. Newly released documents show that a religious candidate for the Oklahoma House of Representatives holds some controversial views on divorce and child discipline which go back to his own divorce.

Custody Spanking

You’re doin’ fine, Oklahoma!

A candidate is running for the Oklahoma House of Representatives with some interesting views on divorce and punishment. He advanced from the Republican primary on June 28, 2022.

According to local media reports, he has been on record saying people would be in the right to stone homosexuals. Demonstrating diplomacy and good governance, he reportedly told Oklahoma’s KFOR that if elected, he would not try to make homosexuality a capital offense.

Interestingly, he wants to make divorces harder to get in Oklahoma. Recently released documents found the candidate harassed his pastor and an elder of his Church in Oklahoma City. Records show the case stemmed from his own divorce “because of his physical and emotional abuse towards her and the boys.”

According to a court order from the Court of Civil Appeals of the State of Oklahoma, while trying to get standard visitation with his kids, the candidate allegedly told the judge:

“I respectfully declare that there’s nothing I did that should have led to what they did wrong. I was deprived of my God-given right to apply corporal discipline to my children.”

The court replied:

“So we are here because you haven’t had an opportunity to spank your boys enough. Is that what you’re telling me?”

The candidate replied, “I think that’s a big factor, sir.” The candidate reportedly acknowledged certain actions he took towards his wife and sons, he would not admit that they were abusive actions.

Florida Divorce and Discipline

I’ve written about divorce and child discipline before. Florida no longer uses the term “custody” after the parenting plan concept was created. For purposes of establishing a parenting plan during a divorce, the best interest of the child is the primary consideration.

The best interest of the child is determined by evaluating all of the factors affecting the welfare and interests of the particular minor child and the circumstances of that family, including evidence of domestic violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect.

Historically, parents have always had a right to discipline their child in a ‘reasonable manner.’ Florida laws recognize that corporal discipline of a child by a parent for disciplinary purposes does not in itself constitute abuse when it does not result in harm to the child.

Harm does not mean just bruises or welts for instance. Harm also can include that the discipline is likely to result in physical injury, mental injury, or emotional injury. Even if the child is not physically harmed, a parent’s discipline could be criminal.

Florida’s parental privilege to use corporal discipline does not give absolute immunity either. A run-of-the-mill spanking may be protected from charges of child abuse, but punching a child, pushing a child onto the floor and kicking him is not.

Many people involved in custody disputes forget that lawyers, guardians, investigators, and judges are watching what transpires during the divorce process, and disciplinary methods can become an issue in any custody case.

Oklahoma O.K.

KFOR also reports the religious candidate’s wife allegedly blames the divorce on, not just his discipline, but adultery. While the candidate denied adultery, he then “set out on a mission to get them to ‘repent’ of their part in this ‘sin’ of a divorce” and to “have them removed as church members.”

The candidate began a crusade of weekly e-mails, replete with accusations against the pastor. A church elder complained the candidate rode his bicycle by his home, shouting “‘Repent!’”

Ultimately, he was banned from his church, while his wife and the pastor filed Victim Protection Orders against him. According to his campaign efforts on different social media, changing divorce laws is one of his goals.

“those who are getting married will know from the get go that they are to remain in their marriage ’til death do they part.”

KFOR reached out to his political opponent for House District 87, Gloria Banister, who said “the court records are public documents, and they speak for themselves. There’s really nothing for me to add.”

Oklahoma’s KFOR article is here.

Tag: child punishment

Punishment and Domestic Violence